


In My Life

by Shywriter23



Category: The Last of Us
Genre: Ellie - Freeform, F/F, Gay, Heartbreak, Lesbian Character, Lust, Teen love, The Last of Us - Freeform, dina - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-25
Updated: 2020-04-29
Packaged: 2021-01-02 17:47:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 81,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21165638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shywriter23/pseuds/Shywriter23
Summary: Ellie sings for Dina for the first time. More than singing happens. The start of something but not sure what.





	1. In My Life

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! I am very new to writing and this is my first piece. Please be gentle! Id love all tips, pointers, and love I can get. I hope to continue this story but wanted feedback first. I love these characters and The Beatles so why not combine them?? Thanks again and please enjoy!

“Please...please....please or I am going to die,” Dina half shouts as she fakes a heart attack and collapses to the ground quite dramatically.

“I am NOT going to sing!” Ellie shouts back at her and laughs at her theatrical display. Dina crawls over to where Ellie is sitting in a chair with her guitar and places both hands on the top of her thighs. The heat of Dina’s innocent touch seems to burn through her jeans. The heat rises and stings her ears and cheeks as Ellie feels them redden. Would she ever not feel this flustered from a simple touch? Probably not. She glances down to see puppy dog eyes staring back at her. Dina’s bottom lip protrudes just slightly to make the perfect begging face.

“Please, I promise I won’t laugh.”

Ellie’s eyes hover on Dina’s lips too long and snap them back up hoping she didn’t notice. A fantasy of Dina begging for something more than a song creeps to the front of her mind. Ellie quickly readjusts in her chair to keep her head as clear as possible.

“Fine, but only cause you’re begging,” Ellie quips hoping Dina doesn’t see through her only half kidding delivery.

“You love when I beg,” Dina rivals. Ellie's eyes snap up to see something different in her deep brown eyes. They’re locked on hers in a way she feels breaking contact would cause the earth to crumble. Was she imagining this? heat crawls up her body at the thought of her look being something more. She quickly pulls back to reality when Dina’s soft giggles erupt from her lips. A flash of disappointment hits Ellie in a way she wasn’t expecting.

“Come on stop staling!”

“Okay! Just give me a minute!”

Ellie flips through the songs Joel has taught her in her mind. Wanting one that she knows she can sing and play equally well as to not totally embarrass herself. Finally, it hits her and she feels the nerves knotting her stomach. There’s no way she can back out now.

“Okay are you ready asshole,” Ellie half sighs half grumbles.

“More than ready,” Dina scoots back to sit Indian style on the floor. Her eyes shining up at the taller girl with amazement and the satisfaction of finally getting what she wants.

Ellie’s hands begin playing the strings in the pattern she’s played a hundred times. She looks down at her guitar as she plays. Knowing the shyness that would overtake her if she looks into those big brown eyes. Her stomach was already in knots knowing those eyes were all on her. The knots slowly loosen as she gets into the slow rhythm and starts to sing softly.

_There are places I'll remember_

_All my life, though some have changed_

_Some forever, not for better_

_Some have gone, and some remain_

_All these places had their moments_

_With lovers and friends, I still can recall_

_Some are dead, and some are living_

_In my life, I've loved them all_

A wave of relief flows through her when the first verse goes off without a hitch. As she plays the chords before the next verse her heart starts to beat harder, realizing the weight of the words coming up and how much she truly means them. Ellie almost falls off beat contemplating stopping. She doesn’t want to think about how true these next words are. She doesn’t want to process how Dina would react if she knew how truly Ellie was singing them just to her. At the last second, her mind seems to force her to continue singing no matter what it might cost.

_But of all these friends and lovers_

_There is no one compares with you_

Her lips put an emphasis on_ you_ and she can’t help but look up to get any kind of reading from her best friend. Dina’s eyes hold something new. _Admiration? Something deeper?_ Her eyes quickly look back to her hands keep rhythm somehow in this mess of internal struggle she feels.

_And these memories lose their meaning_

_When I think of love as something new_

_Though I know I'll never lose affection_

_For people and things that went before_

_I know I'll often stop and think about them_

_In my life, I'll love you more_

Ellie’s voice quivers over the word love and hopes, actually prays it’s not obvious. Or maybe she wants it to be. She can’t deal with this now. Her hands and lips push through without thinking to get her to the last line.

_In my life, I'll love you more_

A flush of red paints her face as she finishes, finally concluding this was exactly what she’d wanted to sing for Dina. She meant every word. Her emerald eyes are glued to the floor, not wanting to know what Dina thought. Slowly they creep up to match the burning embers glowing below her. But something is wrong.

“I still gotta work on it but uhh...” she quickly states trying to ease the tension that’s crushing her chest.

“Yeah uh..it’s really good...I got a shift later at the clinic..uhh...gotta go,” Dina mumbles as she gets up and hurries down the stairs.

“HEY DINA WAIT!”

But the house is already rattling from the door slamming shut behind her.

“Fuck!” Ellie screams and lets her head fall into her hands._ What had she been thinking? Why did she have to sing that stupid song?_ Even though she meant every word with all of her being she wanted to take it all back. She wants to run after her best friend. Her everything.

“Fucking idiot!”

The bed creaks as she slams her self down and screams into her pillow. She wants to sink down and never resurface. Her green eyes sting as tears build behind her eyelids. Like flood gates, they hold all the pain and longing built up inside. She tries to scream again but her throat closes tight holding the lump that’s worked its way up. It chokes her until she finally lets go. She cries silently into the already overused pillow. Slowly her eyes dry up and her heart is numb. Numbing keeps her sane. Numbing always is her answer. She just hopes she won’t have to be numb forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is a link to the beautiful song that inspired this writing. Maybe more chapters will be based on their songs? 
> 
> https://youtu.be/YBcdt6DsLQA


	2. Twist and Shout

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Memories can be sweeter than reality.

"Come on Ellie you only turn seventeen once!” The black hair girl pleaded.  
“And Joel is on the night watch. He won’t even be back till morning!”

Ellie groaned as she eyed the bottle in her hand. Its clear liquid inside spelled out 50% fun and 50% trouble. Drinking wasn’t the issue, she had drinks before but never had she gotten drunk. Losing part of her highly tuned senses worried something inside. Being in Jackson meant she was safe but worry still sat in the back of her mind. Knowing Dina, she’d end up drinking anyway. She could never say no to her antics.

“What if I’m allergic?” Her last-ditch effort to maybe get the smaller girl to ease up on her.

“Well I’m allergic to bullshit so go get an EpiPen if you’re gonna keep it up,” she retorted and crossed her arms.

“Okay, okay fine dickhead,” Ellie pretended to sound defeated. “But if Joel comes back and kicks my ass, I’m gonna kill you!”

“Yay!” She jumps up to hug Ellie around her neck which almost makes the bottle slip out of her hands. The impact of the touch rippled up her spine. The smell of clean clothes and perfume struck her senses in the best way. The arms around the tall girl’s neck squeezed tighter pulling them closer. The warmth radiating from Dina is as cozy as it was electrifying. Too quickly it's gone and the bottle is snatched from the unusually tight grip of her hands. Dina flicked the cap off and took a big swig without flinching.

A wide smile spread across her beautiful face as the bottle is extended back to Ellie. “Come on handsome give it a try.”

_Handsome?_ A stupid grin plastered the tall girls face. Her face got hot at the thought of a beautiful girl like Dina could ever find her handsome. _It’s just an expression dipshit_ she thought and grabbed the bottle looming in her face. The smell of the alcohol slapped Ellie across the face. “Fuck it.” The gulps she took were way too big for the fiery liquid in the bottle. Once it is finally down, she coughed till her throat didn't sting anymore.

“What the hell? You’re trying to kill me!” She coughed out. Giggles erupted from Dina as she grabbed the bottle back.

“It’s not that bad drama queen.” Ellie rubbed the tears from her coughing attack away to see Dina tip the bottle back again without even a grimace. “I bet you won’t even help me finish this bottle,” the smaller girl challenged.

“Try me,” she challenged back. The first drink settled in her stomach and made her body feel warm. She grabbed the devil’s water back and chugged for what seemed like 10 minutes. The liquid threatened to burn a hole in her throat before she stopped. Ellie slammed the bottle down only leaving a little less than a fourth. Her organs felt on fire as the alcohol raged up to her chest and through every vein in her body.

“Holy shit Ellie now that’s what I am talking about!” Dina eyed her in wonder. “I should challenge you more often,” she laughed still amazed. Dina chugged the last few sips and threw the bottle to the side. “What now birthday girl?”

Ellie pondered for a minute, as she thinks she realized how alone they were. No one but Dina and her all night. She looked over at the beautiful girl in front of her. Noticed the tight black jeans that hugged her curves. The soft maroon sweater that fit a little too snug, not that Ellie minded at all. Her hair back in a bun as always with little wisps fallen beside her face. Every structure and line of her face perfectly arranged. Her neck slender, running perfectly into slightly exposed collarbones. Something deep inside Ellie caught fire thinking of running her lips down that perfect neck. Her lust is enforced with the waves of alcohol that suddenly crashed over her thoughts. Everything suddenly felt unbearably hot.

“Earth to Ellie?” Her eyes snapped into the focus on the hand that waved in front of her face. “Uh you pick something,” she slurred out. Dina laughed at how hard it was for Ellie to speak given her drunken state. In a flash Dina jumped up to look through the music Ellie had collected.

Ellie tried to focus on the beautiful girl but suddenly there was two of her. She slowly got to her feet after multiple tries and stumbled over to help her friend look.

Dina picked up a case and flipped it over to read the songs on the back. “Who are The Beatles?” she asked innocently.

“Only the best band in the world!” Ellie tried to act offended but almost lost her balance.

“Oh, wait I think I know that song!” exclaimed the shorter girl. “It was on the 50's and 60's CD at my old compound. I must have listened to it a million times with my Mom! I didn’t know who sang it though.” Glee is written on her face as she raced to play the song before Ellie could even ask which one it is. Ellie could listen to The Beatles all day. Joel was even teaching her a few songs on the guitar.

The song began and the opening guitar chords brought a smile to Ellie’s lips. One of her favorites.

_Well, shake it up, baby, now (Shake it up, baby)_  
_ Twist and shout (Twist and shout)_  
_ C'mon c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, baby, now (Come on baby)_  
_ Come on and work it on out (Work it on out)_

They half sung half screamed the lyrics towards each other. Ellie was glad she could get her mind and mouth to cooperate together.

_You know you twist your little girl (Twist, little girl)_  
_ You know you twist so fine (Twist so fine)_  
_ Come on and twist a little closer, now (Twist a little closer)_  
_ And let me know that you’re mine (Let me know you’re mine)_

Ellie played air guitar to the rhythm of the guitar solo making Dina laugh. She liked being the reason for her laughs. Maybe if she wasn’t so stubborn and worried all the time, she could make her laugh more. Maybe she liked being drunk a little. Feeling free to be stupid and sing with her best friend.

They alternated ahhs back and forth going up a pitch every time. Until they both screamed out just like the artists do on the track but a lot less on key. They both laughed at their terrible singing and continue on. Usually, Ellie would never sing and dance around like this even when listened by herself. The alcohol had shut her shyness down and amped up her courage to be free. It was like all the teenagers in movies she’s watched over the years. Finally understanding why thousands of movies have been made about this exact feeling.

_Well, shake it, shake it, shake it, baby, now (Shake it up, baby)_  
_ Well, shake it, shake it, shake it, baby, now (Shake it up, baby)_

Dina grabbed Ellie’s hands and pulled her closer to dance. Electricity seemed to flow between their hands heating Ellie from the inside. They head-banged to the end of the song and busted out laughing when it finally finished.

The alcohol consumed both of the young girls. Ellie found it harder and harder to stay upright. She finally regained her balance and realized their hands were still intertwined. The liquid courage from inside squeezed the smaller girl's hands.

Dina looked deep in her eyes and Ellie wondered if she could read the thoughts that were screaming in her head. “Have you had a good birthday El?”

“Anytime spent with you is good.” Ellie can’t stop the words that spilled out of her lips.

“You’re so cheesy lame-ass,” Dina giggled and gave a playful shove. As playful as it was the shove knocked an already stumbling Ellie totally off balance.

“Oh shit,” the tall girl grasped at the air to keep from tumbling to the floor. It didn't work and, in the process, she dragged Dina down with her.

“Ellie you dumbass!” They both erupted with laughs until Ellie realized the small girl was on top of her as a result of the fall. Her body felt warm pressed against hers. Everything burned inside Ellie.

“I think I should get you drunk more often.” Dina's sweet hot breath hit Ellie’s face like warm water. Being this close was intoxicating which only added to her actual drunken state. The impulse to kiss those soft lips rippled throughout her body so hard she almost acted on it...

“Ellie...Ellie...ELLIE!”

The shouting painfully rips Ellie from one of her favorite memories.

“Jesus Christ you gave me a fucking heart attack Tommy.”

“Well if you weren’t so lost in your thoughts, you’d know your watch shift was over ten minutes ago,” He jabs at the obviously distracted girl.

“Oh, fuck sorry.” Ellie quickly jumps up to head down the ladder. Slowly she walks away feeling Tommy’s concerned stare penetrating her back. Her mind kept replaying her 17th birthday in hopes to satisfy her Dina withdrawal. They hadn’t spoken in a week since the whole song incident. She’d spoken to her every day since Joel had brought them to Jackson. Breaking bones and being stabbed had nothing on the feeling tearing her apart the past week. Trying to give Dina space was eating her alive. Her only ray of hope was their patrol together tomorrow. Maybe the forced time together would rekindle their friendship in some way. Tomorrow could be good for them. Or terrible. Her feet feel as if they weigh a hundred pounds each as she climbs the stairs to her room. She doesn’t want to imagine how it could get worse so as soon as she stumbles to her bed she tries to sleep, praying for a miracle on patrol tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Again, here is a link to the jam that inspired this chapter. 
> 
> https://youtu.be/2RicaUqd9Hg


	3. We Can Work It Out

Waking up early for patrol was never a problem for Ellie. She rose before the sun nearly every morning. Nightmares plague her dreams so it was better to rest and rise early. However, the night before her patrol with Dina made getting a goodnight’s sleep seem like a sick joke. Tossing and turning until her sheets were all but ripped from the bed. The clock by her bed seemed to stand still. After watching it for what feels like days the clock finally shows a reasonable hour to get up and get ready.

For the first time in forever, she contemplates what to wear. Dark jeans and boots were a must in the chilly late fall weather. But what shirt? Ellie finally decides on a black t-shirt under a green flannel. That specific flannel was Dina’s favorite. Almost every time Ellie wore it her best friend would comment on how handsome it made her look. A small grin creeps on her face but is suddenly dashed. She remembers the “standoff” they are in and her insides feel hollow. _What was she even going to say when they met up? Would Dina even talk to her at all? _She missed the small girl’s relentless teasing and strong will putting her in her place.

The breakfast of eggs she makes sits on the plate in front of her slowly getting cold. Her nerves had tied knots in her stomach so tight that eating proves impossible. Ellie leaves a note for Joel to heat the plate up for his breakfast. She grabs her coat and backpack and quietly slips out the door. Crisp October air bites at her face and ears. She wishes she hadn’t lost her toboggan on her last supply run. Maybe a new one could be found today.

The long walk to the armory took twice as long at the pace Ellie keeps. She wants to just turn around and run back home. A flood of relief washes over her when both patrol rifles are still hanging on the wall. She still has a few minutes before what seems like the end of the world. After grabbing the long rifle, she turns quickly to head to the stables.

Melvin stands peacefully waiting to be taken out on patrol. His brown coat has been freshly groomed. Ellie likes taking Melvin on patrol, he is as sweet as he is strong. He’d helped her escape one too many close calls. She puts her forehead against Melvin’s soft snout and closes her eyes, petting his black mane.

“What am I supposed to do?” Ellie sighs. "Can’t you give me the answers?”

“Do you guys need a minute alone?”

Ellie nearly jumps out of her skin not realizing Dina has been standing at the stable door. “Uhm. No…I was just giving Melvin a pep talk.” She tries to laugh off the embarrassment burning her face red.

“Mhm.” Dina’s answer was too short to get a reading on. “Well whenever you feel like Melvin is pepped enough, I’ll meet you at the gate.” She quickly hops on her black horse named Rose and rides outside.

“God help us,” Ellie whispers low enough to not be caught again talking to a horse. They quickly catch up to Dina who is already venturing outside the wall. Their patrol is only scheduled for one day granted nothing unexpected happens. Just a quick scout of the grocery store about 10 miles south of Jackson.

The intense awkward silence was the staple of the first half-hour of the patrol. Ellie opens her mouth multiple times but quickly closes it not knowing the right thing to say_. Why was this so hard? It was just a stupid song. Yeah maybe she meant every word but she hadn’t explicitly said that out loud. Can’t best friends just sing to each other?_ She knows that’s a lie as soon as she thinks it. Ellie wants to be much more than Dina’s best friend. Her heart breaks again knowing Dina would never see her as anything but a friend.

“You’re gonna shit yourself thinking that hard,” Dina scoffs.

The sudden break in silence snaps Ellie out of her spiraling thoughts. Dina is intensely staring at the auburn-haired girl. “I’d need a brain to do that,” she quips and that grants her a chuckle from the beautiful girl beside her. Finally, some of the old Dina shines through this new cold version.

Dina looks stunning in her simple black hoodie and jeans. Ellie silently berates herself for staring too long. This is going to be much harder than she anticipated.

They ride silently until they get to the store. The girls hop off and enter as quietly as possible. Slowly they check each room for any threats, living or otherwise. They near the back room when soft moaning is heard through the door. They slip inside silently knowing the enemy that awaits them all too well. Hunching behind a rusted bread rack they see two runners stumble around on the other side. Dina looks at Ellie and she nods back in agreement. They’ve always been able to communicate this way. Knowing exactly what that look meant Ellie slowly creeps from behind the rack. She takes the runner on the right while Dina will take the left. As they reach their targets both girls look to one another and nod. Ellie uses her pocket knife for a quick blow to the head. Sadly, this blow causes a spurt of blood to rain down on her face. The girls quickly dispose of the runners and Ellie hurriedly looks for something to clean her face.

“Ugh, I hate when that happens,” she moans, taking an old shirt out of her backpack. The t-shirt soaks the blood from her face but when Ellie opens her eyes Dina is staring intensely at her. 

“You still have some on you,” Dina mumbles moving closer. Ellie tries to wipe her face again but the t-shirt is jerked out of her hand and her chin is roughly tilted up. “You’re useless you know that,” the smaller girl sighs. She sounds defeated but Ellie can’t figure out why. The hand on her chin sends chills down her body. Dina furiously wipes the blood that is splashed across her throat. Finally, throwing the t-shirt on the floor in defeat, Dina licks her thumb and tries to wipe the remaining blood off Ellie. Rough at first, but her thumb slowly begins to make longer softer strokes down the side of Ellie’s strong neck. Feeling Dina’s hands rub and trace her neck raises instant goosebumps. Man had she missed the simple touches like this that sent her mind into overdrive. Her head slowly returns to center and her eyes meet with the shorter girl's. They both seem stuck in this trance for a few seconds too long until Ellie shyly looks down.

“I’ve missed you this week,” She blurts out. Ellie wishes they had left some of the blood so it would hide how red her face was becoming. She quickly looks up to get a reading on Dina.

“I know, I’ve just had some uhm…personal stuff come up,” Dina says as a half-apology half-excuse. “I needed to spend time alone, you know?” The lack of confidence in her voice throws Ellie off. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Trying to not seem pushy but dying to know what was so personal Dina felt the need to avoid her for a week.

“No!” Dina quickly snaps but withdraws when she sees the hurt in Ellie’s eyes. “I mean no…I just…I just want to head back,” she sighs.

On the way back Ellie feels further away from her best friend than when the patrol had began. They ride in silence until Dina speaks so soft Ellie could barely make out her words.

“I’m sorry I snapped at you and have been distant.”

The tall girl’s heart speeds up not knowing how to respond. “It’s okay, I just thought I upset you.”

“No, I just had to deal with some things,” Dina says so low that Ellie rides up beside her as to not miss anything.

“Well, you can always talk to me,” Ellie shyly answers. Dina looks like a completely different person. She seems confused and withdrawn.

“I tried to make up with Jesse.”

“Oh...” Ellie tries to hide the devastation in her words. Dina and Jesse were always on and off again but this last break up had been over two months ago. She really believed they were over this time. Anger and jealousy cascades over her thoughts and her knuckles grow white as she clenches Melvin’s reins.

“But I couldn’t go through with it.”

Relief washes over Ellie like a warm shower. But her thoughts contradict what she feels inside. She should want her friend to be happy with Jesse. She shouldn’t be selfish over her best friend that would never return her feelings.

“Why not?”

“I am stuck on someone else,” Dina sighs and looks up at Ellie with eyes that are unreadable. Her heart begins to race as fast as her thoughts. _Why was she looking at me like this? Did she mean me? There’s no way she’s talking about me. Unless…_

“Who?” Ellie questions more forcefully than she means to.

“It’s…” Dina suddenly gets cut off by a bright spotlight shining down on them from the walls of Jackson.

“Come around and we will open the gate,” an unknown watchman yells from behind the blinding light. Ellie hadn’t realized they were already back home. The moment between the two friends is gone.

They both quietly put Rose and Melvin back in their stables after a long day’s ride. Silence falls over them as they return the patrol rifles.

“Will you walk me home?” Dina’s request takes Ellie by surprise but she quickly nods in agreement.

The walk is long, quiet, and a little out of Ellie’s way but she doesn’t mind. At least Dina was asking for her company after a full week of avoidance. She looks to the girl walking beside her and can see the gears turning in her mind. They slowly approach the house and Ellie walks with her up to the door.

“I’m glad I got to see you today, sleep well,” Ellie awkwardly smiles and turns to head back home.

“Ellie, wait.” Before she can turn all the way back around Dina wraps her arms around the taller girl’s neck and hugs her hard. Shocked, Ellie’s arms stay to the side as she processes the situation she is in. Slowly, her strong arms move up and around Dina’s waist and squeeze back. The warmth of the small girl radiates through the layers of Ellie’s clothes. Tingles ripple down her spin from the place in her neck where Dina has buried her face. They stand holding each other for a long time until the short girl finally releases from her tight hug. Her brown eyes sparkle in the moonlight when she looks up to Ellie.

“Whatever is going on, we can work it out,” Ellie states. She was tired of seeing her friend in this unknown struggle. Being her friend was the most important thing to Ellie even if that meant putting her desires for more buried deep down inside. 

“I know we can El.” Dina arches up on her toes to leave a soft kiss on her still slightly grimy cheek leaving Ellie speechless. A soft smile serves as a good night and the beautiful girl is gone.

Ellie’s body feels numb and on fire all at the same time. She can feel her cheeks heating from the soft kiss that still lingers there. Her body autopilots back to her house. The bed frame in her room groans as she throws herself down with a content sigh. For the first time in a long time, not a single nightmare plagued her dreams. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Working hard to get this story out as quickly as possible! Thanks for reading! I know the song wasn't directly in the chapter but it still very much inspired it. 
> 
> https://youtu.be/Qyclqo_AV2M


	4. Something

The weeks following the end of the standoff between Dina and Ellie were great. It was like nothing had ever happened. They were best friends again spending nearly every day together. Dina was back to her usual confident self never missing an opportunity to tease Ellie. Ellie was just happy to be in her presence again.

One chilly November morning Ellie and Dina had been scheduled together on watch duty. They sat shivering slightly looking out into the unsafe world beyond the walls. She loved having watch together. Ellie’s guard was still up but nothing compared to when they were on patrol. She could just sit and talk to the beautiful girl beside her in semi-peace.

“Are you coming tonight?”

“Coming to what?” Ellie sighs knowing whatever it was would probably get her into trouble.

“The party shithead.”

Ellie grimaces remembering that the party at Wyatt’s is tonight. It had totally slipped her mind and she hadn’t constructed an excuse that Dina would except. She thought she had more time.

“Oh, shit it’s tonight?”

“Yes, and you are going to meet at my house at nine and we can go together,” Dina states without even pretending to ask.

Ellie opens her mouth to object but she know she"ll never win. _Also, what did she mean by go together? Like friends or?_ She silently berates the voice in her head for being stupid and looks up to see Dina intensely eyeing her.

“Fine, I’ll go.”

A shit-eating grin spreads across the beautiful girl's face and Ellie suddenly wishes she’d put up more of a fight. Their shift ends and the two girls head to separate homes to get ready for the party.

“Don’t forget nine on the dot your ass better be at my door,” Dina calls to a still walking Ellie who throws a middle finger back at her. “And make sure you look handsome!”

Ellie thanks whatever God she could think of that Dina can't see how flustered her comment makes her. Heat sears her face as she walks home.

“You’re late.”

“It’s 9:05!” Ellie argues back. She notices that Dina isn't listening to her but instead looking her up and down. Shyness overwhelms her. Maybe her khaki-colored jeans had been too nice for the party. The green flannel under a winter coat was an obvious choice she thought but was now regretting it.

“Damn Ellie,” Dina mumbles.

“I can go change. I wasn’t sure what kinda party it was and I…”

“You look fucking hot,” Dina cuts Ellie’s blabbering off. 

The words pinball in her mind. They seem to play over and over again. Ellie feels her face getting hot and quickly looks down. She can’t help the way her mind goes to somewhere dangerous as she finally gets a look at the girl in front of her. Tight jeans with boots and a very low-cut purple long sleeve. She knows she’ll have to keep her eye level in check all night. Still hung up on Dina’s words and looks the smaller girl grabs her strong arm and pulls her in the direction of base thumping music.

“Come on hot stuff,” she giggles.

The party was loud and way overcrowded. This was taking Ellie miles out of her comfort zone. She had one drink to calm her nerves but it didn’t help too much. She did enjoy watching Dina though. How she’d trap unlucky random party-goers into dancing or sharing their drink with her. How was she so personable? She wishes she had half of Dina’s people skills.

As she observes the party, Ellie notices multiple times how Jesse eyes Dina when she lures in another victim to dance. She almost feels bad for him. She knows what it is like to want the most beautiful girl in the room all to yourself. She chuckles to herself at the irony of it all. Both wanting something they would never have. Or at least Ellie would never have. She hurts her own feelings thinking about the possibility of them getting back together.

The music quiets for a second bringing Ellie out of the deep cave of her thoughts. By the time she looks up someone is grabbing her and is relentlessly pulling her through the crowd to the dance floor.

“Dina I can’t fucking dance,” She pleads.

“Shut up,” Dina commands grabbing Ellie’s hands and putting them on her waist. Her arms wrap around the taller girl’s neck and they begin swaying slowly to the music.

It shut Ellie up alright. How had she gotten herself into this position? The most beautiful girl in the room swaying close to her. She tries to keep from looking as scared as she feels but fails miserably. Why did she choose her for a slow song? Especially this song? 

_Something in the way she moves_  
_Attracts me like no other lover_  
_ Something in the way she woos me_  
_ I don't want to leave her now_  
_ You know I believe and how_

“What’s the matter El?” Her sweet breath tickles Ellie’s face.

“Nothing, I’m just not very good at these things,” she sighs. 

“Dancing or holding me close?”

Ellie’s eyes widen at her friend’s words. _What did that mean? She could get better at holding her close. Much better. But that’s not what she’s implying right?_ Her inner voice running rampant in her head.

Dina giggles at the way her words fluster Ellie. She moves her arms higher around her neck pulling them closer and rests her head on Ellie’s shoulder. 

_Somewhere in her smile, she knows_  
_That I don't need no other lover_  
_ Something in her style that shows me_  
_ I don't want to leave her now_  
_ You know I believe and how_

The warmth of the smaller girl is almost too much to handle. They continue swaying to the slow melody. Words Ellie’s listen a million times swirling around her mind. Her hands tighten the grip on Dina’s waist never wanting to let go of this moment.

_Something in the way she knows_  
_And all I have to do is think of her_  
_ Something in the things she shows me_  
_ I don't want to leave her now_  
_ You know I believe and how_

The song ends as quickly as it had began but Ellie can’t bring herself to let go. Finally, the smaller girl raises her head from its resting place and looks deep into Ellie’s eyes.

“Thank you for dancing with me.”

“It wasn’t totally terrible,” Ellie shyly mumbles.

They finally part and Ellie heads to use the bathroom and pull her still racing mind together. She wants to hold the beautiful girl all night not sharing her with anyone else. But Dina dances with everyone. She just lucked out on getting the slow dance she concludes.

As the night wears on more and more drinks flow through Dina’s system. Ellie makes sure to keep a careful eye on her.

“Don’t get near me pervert!”

Ellie quickly turns at the commotion to see Dina yelling in Jesse’s face. His face is a look pure horror at the screaming girl in front of him.

“I didn’t mean to bump into you! I am sorry,” he tries to quickly defuse the situation with the obviously wasted girl.

Ellie quickly pushes through the crowd to intervene in her drunken friend’s rampage.

“I think it is time to head home,” Ellie states grabbing an off-balance Dina and offering an apologetic smile to Jesse. His face is burning red knowing everyone is looking. She drags a still grumbling Dina through the party and out into the cold autumn air.

“Where are we going?”

“Home,” Ellie answers firmly. She raps one of the drunken girl’s arms around her shoulders to keep her upright. Walking home was going to be very difficult.

“I’d go anywhere with you handsome.” She stops walking, pokes at Ellie’s nose for more effect and slowly lets her finger slide down over her lips pulling the bottom one slightly open.

Chills ripple down the taller girl at the lingering touch on her lips. “You’re making this harder than it has to be,” she quips trying to get them back on track to walk towards home.

“Maybe I like it hard,” Dina shoots back letting her eyes shamelessly roam over the fit bodied girl holding her up.

Ellie’s lower half lights on fire at the overly suggestive words. Her mind roaming to places that are only aloud when she is alone in her room late at night. The way Dina looks at her heats every part of her body, especially her face and ears.

“You’re just drunk, let’s go home,” she half pleads to try to get Dina and her own mind out of the dangerous place they were heading.

After what seems like hours of half walking half carrying, they reach Dina’s house. Ellie is relieved the shorter girl finally moved into her own house so she could forgo explaining this mess to Dina’s mom as she had so many times before. Dragging the girl through the front door she props Dina up against the living room couch so she can remove her coat before figuring out what to do with her drunken friend.

Before she can get her the coat all the way off the weight of the small girl’s body slams Ellie against the wall. Aiming for the taller girl’s mouth but missing terribly due to the state she was in her lips settle on her jawline. Sloppily kissing down onto Ellie’s strong neck.

Ellie is locked against the wall by the weight of Dina’s body. The smaller girl grabs both of her wrists pinning them to the wall on either side of her hips. Ellie is in full panic mode not being able to process the whole situation. The lips kissing her neck send electric sparks all the way down to her toes. Her breath hitches when a warm tongue darts out quickly against her skin. _This can’t be happening. _

“Dina what are you,” is all she can muster out from her mind that is turning to mush. But before she can finish speaking teeth bite softly into her neck and a loud whimper escapes from her lips.

“See, I know you like it,” Dina smiles into the mark she’s left in the speechless girl’s neck.

Lust runs rampant throughout Ellie’s body and mind. Feeling the weight of Dina’s body pressing against her and the lips trailing wet kisses down her neck is better than anything she had imagined. And she had imagined this a lot. Lost in the primal feelings of her body something snaps inside her mind.

Ellie uses all her strength, physical and mental, to push Dina off. The small girl stumbles and before she can fall Ellie picks her up and throws her over her shoulder. Too drunk to fight it Dina lets her carry her to the bedroom. Ellie carefully lays her down on the bed as to not hit her head on the bed frame.

“Finally,” Dina smirks and lifts up to grab the collar of Ellie’s flannel pulling her down onto the bed with her. But to the drunken girl's surprise, her hands are ripped from the collar and pinned to the bed by Ellie’s strong calloused hands.

“Mmm I like someone who takes control,” She whispers looking seductively up at her capturer.

“No. This is not happening. You’re drunk and you need to go to bed.” It takes every ounce of will power for Ellie to stay firm in her statement. Her heart is still pounding at the thought of what happened in the living room and the position she is in now. Holding back every urge to dive deeper into this forbidden place and never resurface.

“Why? Don’t you want to?” Dina’s voice is barely above a whisper and the hurt in her eyes takes Ellie by surprise.

“I want to more than anything,” she sighs and leans back letting go of the girl beneath her. Her heart hurts knowing that none of this will be remembered in the morning. The silence in the air is filled with tension and words that are better left unspoken for now. Soft snoring breaks Ellie from the thoughts pounding in her mind. The beautiful girl below her was sound asleep. After taking the sleeping girl’s shoes off and covering her up, Ellie heads to the living room to sleep on the couch.

The excitement of their drunken incident and the pain of knowing it probably only happened because of the influence of alcohol war in her mind. She couldn’t help but smile at the slightly raised skin she felt on her neck. It would surely bruise and would be hard to explain in the morning. Tired of debating with herself, she settles on being content with the dream that maybe deep down even in her drunken state, Dina really had thought of her as _something _more than a friend before tonight. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Here's the link!
> 
> https://youtu.be/UelDrZ1aFeY


	5. I've Got a Feeling

The smell of eggs wafts throughout the house waking Ellie from her deep sleep. Her eyes flutter open to the dim light of the morning sun shining through the window. Stretching her limbs felt amazing after the long night on the couch._ Holy shit_. The events of last night came hurdling back into her mind like a runaway train. Her body feels warm remembering the way Dina had pinned her and the kisses that had trailed up and down her neck.

“Good morning.” The sudden voice rips Ellie from her recollections of last night that left her red in the face.

“Good morning,” she mumbles back to the beautiful girl striding through the doorway with two plates of eggs. Ellie can’t help but smile at how cute Dina looks when she’s just woken up. Her eyes are soft when they look at the auburn-haired girl. The three sizes too big t-shirt hangs low leaving Ellie to wonder if he has any pants on. To Ellie’s disappointment, she does have blue running shorts on. Her hair is in a much messier bun than usual and most of it is fallen around her face. She’s so beautiful. Ellie can’t help but stare as Dina extends a plate to her. All of her being wants this to become her real life. Waking up every morning to Dina making breakfast for her. A smile creeps on her face at the fantasy.

“Thank you.”

“Thank you for making sure I made it home last night and staying here.”

Ellie gives a soft smile in return.

Dina sits on the couch in front of Ellie and they eat their semi-burnt eggs in content silence. Ellie has to remind herself not to stare multiple times. She couldn’t remember the last time she felt this content. They finish their breakfast and sit the plates on the floor.

“What the hell is that!” Dina exclaims and jumps across the couch to take Ellie’s chin in her hand. She forcefully tilts it to the left and gasps at the bruises down Ellie’s neck. “Ellie oh my fucking god did you hook up with someone at the party?”. She knew that Ellie liked girls but she never showed any interest in anyone living in Jackson.

Ellie can hear the confusion in Dina’s voice. Her heart is racing not knowing if she should tell her the truth or lie about the incident last night_. What would she even say? What if Dina was disgusted by what her drunken self had done? _

The smaller girl slowly tilts Ellie’s head back to the center to look deep into her eyes. Ellie can’t even muster a lie from her racing mind. Her emerald eyes just stare into the brown ones looking back at her. Ellie’s face begins to get hot as the memory of last night replays in her mind. Dina’s piercing stare seems to finally penetrate into Ellie’s mind and her hand slowly lets go of her chin. Her brown eyes widen at the realization of who left the bruises down the taller girl’s neck.

“Oh my god. It was me wasn’t it,” she whispers.

Ellie wants to melt into the couch. She can’t handle the thought of being in a standoff again with her best friend.

“It was just the alcohol. No big deal,” she tries to laugh off the anxiety that is consuming her mind.

“What happened?”

“It’s not a big deal, I just put you to bed after and...”

“I want to know.” The firm words cut Ellie’s rambling off. Her eyes are hard and unreadable.

Knowing she can’t lie to her friend; Ellie sighs and begins to rehash the events of last night. Red paints her face throughout the story but Dina’s face never changes. When she’s finally done her heart is racing not knowing what to expect.

After a long moment in thought, a smile creeps on the smaller girl’s face. Dina busts out laughing and it is like sweet music to Ellie’s ears. She feels relief crash over her like a tidal wave. She can’t help the stupid toothy grin that pulls on her lips.

“I mean I guess we both had an eventful night huh?”

“I guess so,” Ellie laughs in response.

“I’ve got a feeling maybe next time we will both remember.”

Ellie’s eyes widen and snap up to meet her friends. _What the hell did that mean?_ The look Dina is giving her is darkly seductive. Heat burns her ears to the point she thought they might start smoking.

Giggles erupt from the smaller girl as she moves closer and turns so that she can scoot between Ellie’s legs. She lays back into Ellie’s chest and moves the taller girl’s arms under her own. She laces her soft fingers with the tough calloused ones.

Ellie can’t keep her head from spinning. Dina’s frizzy morning hair presses into the underside of her jaw as she leans back. The smell of clean clothes and lavender overwhelms her senses_. How was she getting to hold the most beautiful girl in the world?_ Chills run up her fingertips when their hands interlace. They sat like this for what felt like hours. Ellie wrapped around the smaller girl that was laying back into her like she was her own personal recliner. Ellie’s mind is calm. She isn't concerned about what all of this means, she just wants to stay like this forever. For once in her life she thought this must be what true happiness felt like. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short fluff chapter hope ya'll enjoy. The next one will probably be the longest one of all so it might take some time. As always here is the link to the inspiration. 
> 
> https://youtu.be/DbKPZd5oihc


	6. I Feel Fine

The week after the drunken incident was one of the best of Ellie’s life. Every free moment she had was spent with Dina. Something was different between them. It was like every chance Dina had to touch or get closer to Ellie was taken. That was something Ellie had noticed. Extra touches to her hand or arms that automatically sprung goosebumps on her skin. Scooting closer to lay her head on Ellie’s shoulder while they talked. Also, everything seemed to magically break around Dina’s house and Ellie was the only one asked to fix them. Multiple times Ellie had caught Dina staring when she was working around the house. All of this “work” led to many late nights and dinners together. Dina was a terrible cook but she didn’t mind. She would scarf down anything the smaller girl made. Ellie was just happy to be the one the most beautiful girl in the town wanted to spend time with. On top of all this, Dina and Ellie were scheduled to go on an overnight patrol together. Although she knew she would have to be on high alert that far outside of Jackson, Ellie was excited to be alone with her.

The morning she plans to leave for patrol Ellie dresses warmly knowing the harsh cold they would have to endure. She makes a breakfast of bacon and eggs. The smell of the bacon must have woken up a groggy Joel.

“You make any extra?” he mumbles as he sits down at the kitchen table. Joel stretches his long-exhausted limbs with a loud yawn. 

Ellie finishes what she wanted from her plate and slides the remaining across the table. “Here old man.”

“You got everything you need for the patrol?”

She knew this was coming. This is why Joel had gotten up so early, to make sure Ellie was prepared. Although she knew he only cared about her safety, it still got on her nerves. She had been on hundreds of patrols and could more than take care of herself.

“I’ve got it under control.” Her tone is harsher and more aggravated than she actually feels.

Joel’s eyes stare into hers, never backing down. “You need to be careful. Your head better be on straight out there.”

“What the hell does that mean?” Ellie snapped back. Joel never nagged her like this before? He knew how capable she was out there.

“I am just saying I seen how uh…unfocused you get around Dina and I don’t want you out there not focused.” 

_Oh, shit that’s what he meant._ _Was it that obvious?_ Red splatters Ellie’s face as she keeps her eyes down not wanting Joel to see her embarrassment.

“I’ll be careful,” she whispers obviously backing down from the looming confrontation. She would rather fight a horde of clickers than talk about her love life or lack thereof with Joel. 

“I don’t need to have the talk with you, do I?” he teases with a sly smirk. 

“Oh fuck off we are just friends!” she yelps at a much higher voice than usual. Wanting to die right there in her chair, Joel’s chuckles turn her an even darker shade of red.

Thankfully it is time for her to get going. Ellie grabs all her stuff and quickly says goodbye to Joel over her shoulder. He yells some kind of warning back but the door is already slamming shut before Ellie can hear it.

The day is beautiful and not nearly as cold as Ellie had expected. Her face is still beet red with embarrassment from her conversation with Joel. They didn’t talk about stuff like that often or ever really. It must be obvious how much she liked Dina if even an old man with no emotions like Joel noticed. She made a mental note to keep her feelings in check more.

As Ellie reaches the stable, she can see Dina already has Rose out and ready to go.

“Come on El, we need to get going slowpoke,” Dina teases with a smile so beautiful Ellie forgets to argue back. 

Melvin waits patiently while Ellie gets him saddled up. His brown coat gleaming from fresh grooming. “Come on boy,” she whispers leading him outside into the chilly morning air. 

Finally, the girls head beyond the wall into the dangerous world in front of them. They are scheduled to search for supplies and patrol an abandoned neighborhood about a day’s ride north of Jackson. Ellie had never been to this neighborhood so her guard was up more than usual.

The ride was smooth and the girls joked and talked the whole way there while still keeping their eyes peeled for danger. Dina looks gorgeous all bundled up in her winter clothes. Her nose and cheeks gleaming red from the chilly November air. Ellie had to remind herself to stay focused multiple times. Maybe Joel had a point.

They reach the neighborhood in the late afternoon and Ellie was happy with the time they made. They leave their horses in a tall hayfield just outside the neighborhood and begin raiding the houses. They decide to do one side of the street today and the other tomorrow before they head back.

The first house is barren besides a few cans of expired vegetables. But the second house proves to be a better find. Lots of barely used clothes and shoes are stacked in each closet. They take as many as they can back to Melvin and Rose to be packed for the ride back. The last two houses have a few toys for the kids in Jackson and a semi-rusted pistol that can be cleaned and restored when they get back.

As they walk back to store their finds before settling down for the night a single runner stumbles out from behind one of the houses. The two girls duck behind an abandoned car in the street. Ellie gives the silent nod for Dina to wait while she takes it out. The auburn-haired girl slowly creeps from behind the car and stalks the unaware infected. Quietly she gets close enough to smell its rotting flesh and disposes of it with a quick blow to the head from her pocket knife. As she turns to let Dina know it’s dead something hits her like a bullet train knocking her to the ground. The smell that burns her noses lets her know it’s infected before her eyes can adjust to the body pinning her to the ground.

“Ellie!”

She holds off the infected the best she can with her forearm as it snaps its teeth in her face. Its hands rip at her face and arms desperately trying to devour her. A loud bang echoes through the air and the previously thrashing body on top of her goes limp.

“Ellie oh my god are you okay?” Dina sprints to uncover the auburn-haired girl from the dead body that’s crushing her.

“Yeah I’m good,” she huffs as she sits up. Her ribs ache from the tackle. A slashed cut bleeds across her cheek but is not deep enough to require stitches. The smaller girl pulls her to her feet and wraps her in a tight hug. “I’m okay I promise,” she whispers.

As they part something catches Ellie’s eye in the trees behind the house where the runners had come from. Her eyes widen in horror as what looks like at least thirty infected come sprinting out of the woods toward them. The sound of the gun alerting them to their position.

“Run!” she shouts at the unaware Dina and drags her toward the nearest house on the other side of the street. They sprint into the house and slam the door shut. Ellie barricades the door with a chair from the living room as they frantically try to figure out what to do.

Loud thuds bang on the door as the infected slam into the barricaded door. It’s not going to hold much longer.

“Upstairs!” Dina yells and pulls Ellie up the staircase. She stops in front of a hallway broom closet and throws open the door. “Get in!”

“We can’t fit in there!?” Ellie argues but she’s shoved in any way and Dina crams herself in behind her. As she shuts and locks the door behind them, they can hear their makeshift barricade give way. Holding their breaths, infected rampage through the house in search of them. It’s terrifying listening to them run up and down the hall passing right on the other side of the door. They were so outnumbered hiding was the only thing that was going to keep them alive.

The broom closet is so small that Ellie would have been cramped even if she’d been in there alone. Dina is so close that she can feel her measured breaths against her neck. Their bodies are pressed hard into each other given the limited space. It reminds Ellie of the way Dina pressed into her when she kissed her neck. Heat builds inside her but is quickly dismissed when she remembers the situation they were in.

They stay like this for hours, letting the infected give up and clear out. Still hearing only a few infected rumblings around downstairs, the girls finally begin to breathe normally. Ellie’s been relentlessly trying to keep her mind off how intoxicatingly close Dina is to her. They readjust their legs and Dina’s inner thigh is pressed hard against Ellie’s. Fire ignites inside Ellie and her mind can’t reign back in. She shoves her hands in her pockets to keep them from doing something she can’t control. Dina’s warm breath repeatedly hitting her neck unravels her from the inside. The memory of those lips on her neck speeds up her breathing. She’s relieved it’s pitch-black in the closet so Dina can’t see how her closeness is pathetically turning Ellie to mush.

Ellie’s knuckles are white as her hands make tight fists in her pockets. The lust running through her veins wants to feel every inch of the girl pressed against her. Lost in her own fantasies Ellie barely notices Dina moving to lay her head on her chest. Ellie’s whole-body tenses as Dina’s forehead presses against her lower jaw. Confused at if this is all in her mind or not, goosebumps raise when Dina’s fingers begin to trace the skin on Ellie’s chest that’s exposed by the unbuttoned top button of her flannel. _This was real life alright. _

Dina’s fingers trace up to her neck and around the hard features of the taller girl’s face, her head never leaving its resting place. The smaller girl’s ear is pressed against Ellie’s chest. She prays Dina can’t hear how hard her heart is pounding. Everything inside is tingling from the fingertips skimming her skin. The fists release in her pockets and her hands are moving on their own to touch the smaller girl back. Before they get there Dina readjusts and accidentally presses into Ellie’s ribs. A low groan escapes from deep in her throat.

“Are you okay?”

“My ribs,” Ellie hisses back in pain.

They stay quiet for a few seconds to listen for any sounds of threats. Deeming it semi-safe, Dina opens the door and looks out into the hall.

“It’s clear,” she whispers.

The two girls move to the bedroom in the back and lock the door behind them. Ellie quietly moves a dresser in front of the door for extra protection. Ribs screaming as she unpacks her sleeping bag from her backpack.

“Sit down you’re hurt,” Dina pleads.

“I’m fine,” she mumbles but quickly groans as her movement feels like a kick to the ribs.

“Stop being stubborn and sit-down jack ass.” Her words are stern and commanding. Unable to find the strength to fight back Ellie sits defeated. The smaller girl rummages through her bag and finally pulls the first aid kit out.

Glad that Dina spends most of her shifts working in the clinic, Ellie allows the beautiful girl to patch her up. Trying to keep her tough face on Ellie barely flinches as rubbing alcohol is wiped across the cut on her cheek. After the small wound is patched Dina gets Ellie to lay down to examine her ribs.

She slowly unbuttons the flannel and Ellie can feel her face heating up. It’s hard for her to remember that this is strictly medical when Dina’s eyes roam her body freely. Ellie wasn’t ashamed of the way she looked. Actually, her body was very well toned and fit, but being in only her bra in front of Dina made her want to turn invisible.

“This might hurt a little.”

Dina presses firmly into her already slightly purple ribs causing Ellie to suck in air. “Fuck,” she growls as the smaller girl continues to press around the bruises.

“I’m sorry, I don’t think they’re broken though, just heavily bruised.”

“Great,” Ellie groans. “Can I have my shirt back please.”

“Aww man,” Dina whines with a seductive wink.

Ellie feels red plaster her face as she snatches the shirt from her friend. She rests while the smaller girl places their sleeping bags and gets beef jerky out for dinner. They eat silently and listen to the infected roaming around outside. Hopefully, they would be gone by morning.

The setting sun brought the temperature down with it and soon the girls could see their own breath as they whisper to each other. Tired from the unexpected eventful day they had encountered they decide to try to sleep through the freezing night.

“I think we should sleep together.”

Ellie’s eyes widen and her mouth drops open slightly at the words blurted out by her best friend. Her mind doesn’t even try to stop the sexual thoughts that race to the front of her brain.

“I meant in the sleeping bags, like for warmth pervert!” Dina giggles at the flustered girl sitting in front of her.

“Oh, yeah…uh definitely.” Disappointment smacks her running thoughts back into their place. She tries to not show it on her face but fails quiet miserably.

“Don’t look so disappointed El,” Dina winks back at her.

“I am not disappointed! I just…. I…ugh shut up.” Ellie’s mind is so flustered she can’t even think clearly, let alone accumulate words in a meaningful sentence. 

Dina’s laughter at Ellie’s poor attempt to explain her perverted mind brings down her defensive walls. She laughs off her embarrassment but slowly grows quiet as the smaller girl slides into the sleeping bag with her. 

Dina faces away from the taller girl as she gets situated. Her butt presses back into Ellie’s crotch with a force that couldn’t be accidental. Ellie feels like she might explode. The sexual tension inside feels like an elephant sitting on her chest, so heavy she can’t breathe_. This is just for warmth…this is just for warmth…this is just for warmth._ Even her inner voice seems unsure. Dina reaches back to pull Ellie’s arm around her. She laces her soft fingers over the strong rough ones that belong to the girl holding her tight. Ellie moves her head to the back of Dina’s neck hoping she won’t move away. She doesn’t. When Ellie remembers to breathe again the air that releases from her lungs move the little hairs on the back of Dina’s neck. She swears she hears a soft moan escape the smaller girl at the sudden warm breath on her neck. After a few moments her heart slows down and her mind stops racing. Admiration and awe replace the lust that’s subsiding inside her. The warmth radiating between them is cozy and feels like home. Ellie had never spooned anyone before and she was beginning to understand why it felt so good to be that close to someone. Especially when that someone was Dina. She squeezes the smaller girl’s hand and it squeezes back. Something inside her was scared at how badly she wanted this to never end. Scared because she knew it would end. Battling her inner voice would have to wait because she wanted to enjoy every moment she could holding Dina close.

Early morning rays of sunlight glimmer through the window waking Ellie from her light sleep. Her eyes flutter open to see Dina facing her still sleeping soundly. The sunlight lighting up her beautiful face in a way that Ellie could only stare at. Her hand moves up to push the wild strands of black hair behind her ear. She let her fingers slowly trace down her jawline.

_She could never lose her._

The words rattle in her head scaring her more and more each time they replay. All of her feelings come crashing up to the surface. Dina was everything she wanted and more. She cared for her so much that it hurt. Now she knew why she kept these feelings buried deep down. She had spent so much of her life being numb to her feelings. But being with Dina brought all of her walls down and forced her to feel them. It was terrifying.

Lost in her thoughts, Ellie doesn’t realize her hand still rests on the soft face in front of her. It’s not until Dina nuzzles her warm face into it that Ellie realizes she’s awake.

The strong hand jerks away at the sudden reciprocating contact. “Oh sorry, good morning, I didn’t mean to wake you,” she apologizes.

“Good morning,” the beautiful girl yawns back.

Her dark brown eyes are soft and sleep-filled. They lay there taking in each other’s company not wanting to leave the warm sleeping bag. Eventually, they get up and pack their things in the freezing room. Dina catches Ellie wincing in pain when she bends over too fast. A soft smile serves as an “I’m okay,” and they continue packing. Ellie scouts out the window to see only three or four infected still roaming around outside. She had fought in worse situations but her aching ribs beg her not to if she could help it. The two girls decide sneaking out the back and heading to the horses is the best option.

Slowly they creep out the back door and into the field behind the neighborhood. Rose and Melvin had wandered pretty far away but were still in sight. Quietly they got on their horses and began the long ride back to Jackson. The girls didn’t talk much not wanting any infected to follow them back home. Ellie was fine with that because every bounce of the horse sent stabbing pain to her ribs.

“We’re almost there,” Dina reassures seeing the pain written on the usually strong-faced girl.

Ellie tries to give a fighting smile through the pain but ends up wincing instead. She could see the worry painting across her friend’s face. Every inhale seems to light her chest on fire. Thankfully, after hours of painful riding, they make it back to Jackson.

They leave Melvin and Rose to be tended to at the stable and Dina marches her straight to the clinic. Despite wanting to protest, the pain she is in is too hard to talk over. She lets the confident smaller girl drag her to be treated.

“You can go home; you don’t have to…”

“I am staying,” Dina’s stern voice shuts down Ellie’s attempt to argue.

They sit silently waiting for the nurse to come back. Dina held her hand while they waited. It was weird feeling something so soft against her rough hands. Ellie’s face burned when the nurse came in and Dina didn’t pull her hand away. _What if the nurse thought they were dating? Maybe that wouldn’t be so bad…_

Lost in the dream of dating Dina she barely hears the nurse telling her how to let her ribs heal.

“How do you feel?” the nurse questions snapping Ellie out of her daydream.

Ellie debates her answer. She turns to the girl beside her and stares into her big brown eyes. All the emotions she feels for Dina come flooding back. A soft smile spreads across her face.

“I feel fine.”

Dina smiles back at her making her melt a little inside. Ellie didn’t need to have all the answers to her feelings right now. Besides her ribs aching she did feel fine, and that was good enough for now. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took a while to write but it was my favorite chapter so far so I needed to do it justice. It's awesome to hear from you guys and thanks for reading! Also, if you guys wanna follow my tumblr it is gaythelastofus I'd love to talk to anyone about the story or the game! Also also, here is the fucking jam that inspired this chapter. 
> 
> https://youtu.be/8Goxw7VgxfA


	7. I Saw Her Standing There

Ellie’s ribs healed slowly over the final weeks of November. The black and blue that painted her ribs slowly turned purple and then into green and yellow splotches. The worst of the pain was behind her and she was thankful. However, Dina had taken it on as a personal mission to be at her side taking care of her as she healed. Every night after Dina’s shifts, she would come to make dinner for Ellie if Joel hadn’t already done so. Cleaned her wounds and rebandaged them. Watched movies with Ellie late into the night. Ellie would have been stir-crazy having to rest for weeks while she healed if not for Dina’s constant company. All of this attention from the beautiful girl almost made her not want to get better. But as weeks passed, Ellie began getting back into her routine and was put back on the watch rotations.

Not being able to do any heavy lifting yet, Ellie had been scheduled to help set up the town winter dance. It didn’t take much work really, only hanging up string lights and getting the sound equipment ready. The whole shift Ellie dreads the thought of going to the dance. She knows Dina will force her to attend with a beautiful smile she can’t refuse. Being in a place with that many people already has her skin crawling. But the memory of their previous dance lightens her mood as she hopes she’ll get lucky enough to win a slow dance with the most beautiful girl in town again. She finishes the setup and starts to head home.

“Did you make it look all pretty for me?” A sweet and sultry voice asks as Ellie walks out the door. Dina laces her arm with the one hanging from her best friend as they walk home feeling the toned muscles flex at her touch.

“Uh…I guess so,” Ellie smiles and reddens at the small arm linking with her own.

“Good. I need something to look at when we are dancing instead of your ugly mug,” Dina jokes as she leans her head on Ellie’s shoulder.

_Dancing with me? _

“Well good thing I’m not going so you won’t have to worry about it,” Ellie rivals knowing it’s a lie.

Dina stops walking and turns to look up at the taller girl. “Oh yes, you are going Ellie Williams.”

Hearing her name commanded back at her lights a fire inside. She wants to see how far she can push the smaller girl’s buttons.

“I don’t think you’re in charge of what I do or don’t do,” Ellie argues watching the fire burning behind the brown eyes staring holes in her. She loves when Dina gets riled up because most of the time Ellie’s the one being riled. It was nice to have some power even if it would never last.

“You’re going and that’s final.”

“You can’t make me.” She feels like a child fighting but watching Dina get more and more red with frustration is totally worth it. Suddenly, the angry brown eyes staring at her melt into soft seductive pools of honey.

“You’re right. I can’t make you,” she sighs and takes a step forward closing the gap between them.

_Oh shit, what have I done? _Ellie panics at the way Dina is eyeing her.

The smaller girl slowly wraps her soft hands around Ellie’s neck purposefully letting her fingertips play with the loose baby hairs there. The look in Dina’s eyes makes Ellie’s knees weak_. What is happening? _The smaller girl leans up so her lips are inches from Ellie’s ear.

“But maybe I can convince you?” Her words send chills down the auburn-haired girl’s spine. Jolts of electricity spark something in her belly that really doesn’t want to be contained. Dina’s so close she can smell her lavender scent and could get drunk off that alone. Heat burns her face and ears. Ellie’s so lost in her lust-filled thoughts she forgets what they are arguing about. Dina pulls back to look into the bright emerald eyes shining at her with something primal. 

“So, I’ll see you tonight?” An innocent smile with devilish eyes locks in her victory over the taller girl.

“Huh? Oh, uh yeah sure.” Ellie can’t even fight anymore. She would be wherever Dina was.

“See you tonight handsome.”

And she’s gone. Leaving Ellie dumbfounded. Unable to process anything. Tonight would be interesting.

_What the hell am I supposed to wear?_ Ellie isn’t sure why she cares but deep down she wants to look nice. Maybe it was the way Dina had “convinced” her earlier that makes her so hyper-aware of her looks. A black t-shirt under a blue flannel is put on in hopes it has the same effect as her green one that sits in her dirty clothes pile. Dark jeans and sneakers will have to do. She looks at herself in the mirror trying to smooth the wrinkles out of her stupid shirt. 

“You can iron those out you know,” Joel’s gruff voice startles her. “Trying to look nice for someone?”

“Oh fuck off, “her voice is stern but a grin spreads across her lips. He may be old but he can see right through her. Joel walks up behind her and puts a hand on her shoulder from behind. They look in the mirror together. They had been through so much but talking is still not their strong suit. A pat on the shoulder tells her what words can’t. Smiling, Joel turns to head out.

“I have the night watch so I’ll see you tomorrow, kiddo.” Right before he walks out of her room a sly smirk pulls at his lips. “Oh, and Ellie? Just be yourself. She seems to like that for some weird reason.”

Ellie's eyes widen at his comment. _What did he just say?_ She spins around to question him but he’s already down the stairs. “Hey! Wait what the hell does that mean!?”

“Goodnight! Have fun!” The door slams behind him.

_Does he think Dina likes me back? Can he see something I can’t? He’s wrong she just flirts with everyone. _But somewhere deep inside Ellie hopes he’s right. He had watched her take care of her for weeks. _But that’s just what friends do. Right? _She huffs at her lanky reflection and decides this look is as good as it’s going to get. Pulling her hair back in a bun makes one stubborn piece of hair fall in her face. After multiple tries to comb it back in she gives up._ I don’t have time for this._ The dance had already started a half-hour ago. Knowing Dina will kill her if she’s any later, Ellie jogs down the stairs and heads out into the night.

Ellie makes it to the community building about an hour late. She slips into the crowd thankful Dina isn’t waiting at the door to kill her for being late. The music plays loudly but not like at the parties the kids in town threw. A Beatles song is on and it eases Ellie’s nerves somewhat. It reminds her of being at home listening by herself.

_Well, she was just seventeen_   
_You know what I mean_   
_And the way she looked was way beyond compare_   
_So how could I dance with another_   
_When I saw her standing there _

Being at home alone listening to her music actually sounded great right now. Wading through the crowd upped her anxiety. She realizes the whole town is here tonight. 

_Whoa, we danced through the night_   
_And we held each other tight_   
_And before too long I fell in love with her_   
_Now I'll never dance with another_   
_When I saw her standing there_

Ellie finally wades back to the bar and gets a drink to calm her nerves. Focusing on the music helps some as she searches the crowd hoping to see the one person that had talked her into coming. Finally, she spots the beautiful girl dancing with one of her neighbors to the old catchy song.

_ Now I'll never dance with another_   
_Since I saw her standing there_   
_Oh since I saw her standing there_   
_Oh since I saw her standing there_

Ellie notes how ironically the song matches her feelings of watching Dina dance. The song ends and Dina eloquently bows to her dance partner. Quickly another song starts up and the gorgeous girl grabs another victim to spin her around the dance floor.

She leans back into the bar and sips her drink, taking in the sight that is Dina dancing. A small grin creeps on her face as she looks down remembering the last time they danced and how that night had ended. When she looks back up, she sees Jesse coming to stand at the bar with her. Ellie quickly readjusts and hardens her face hoping he didn’t see the way she was eyeing Dina.

“I hate these things.” 

“Tell me about it,” she huffs. Truly she would never have been there in a million years if Dina hadn’t convinced her but he didn’t need to know that.

“Your old man really laid into me today,” he states in a very monotone voice. 

Not knowing if Jesse is just trying to make small talk or complain to her, she plays into his statement. “What happened?”

“Another big lecture about my patrols. Don’t go here. Don’t go there. It’s funny how involved he gets when you’re scheduled to go out.” 

His voice seems slightly aggravated but his face is neutral. Joel is always protective of her but Jesse’s comment makes it seem like it’s her fault. Yes, tomorrow is her first day back on patrol since her ribs healed but it didn’t mean she was any less capable. Growing slightly agitated at the boy beside her she bites her tongue not wanting the conversation to continue.

“Yeah,” she offers as a reply hoping he’ll leave. He doesn’t.

“She’s putting on quite the show,” he nods at Dina flying around the dance floor. Both Ellie and Jesse watch her intensely as her partner dips her to finish the song. She looks amazing. But disappointment runs through Ellie’s mind as she notices Jesse eyeing her the same way. Ellie was stupid to ever think Dina would be anything more than her best friend.

“I give you guys two weeks until you’re back together,” she jokes. Truly hoping it would stay a joke.

“Not gonna happen,” his monotone voice turns slightly harsher. “She uh…say something to you?” Jesse’s voice questions with a hint of longing. She knew he still liked Dina. Who wouldn’t like the most beautiful girl in Jackson?

“Make it one week,” she scoffs sarcastically. He had it just as bad as she did. Everything in her body is disappointed. Dina could have anyone one in Jackson, there’s no way she’d ever return Ellie’s feelings. The auburn-haired girl really just wants to go home and listen to her music. Numb out her feelings like usual.

“Ellie!” Her name being called pulls her from her own mental pity party.

“Hey! What took you so long?” The sweet voice sounding like music to her ears. Dina strides toward her looking beautiful as ever. A maroon long-sleeve that is very low cut and tight on her body. Her hair in a usual bun that’s a little messy from dancing. Ellie can’t pull her eyes away.

The smaller girl takes Ellie’s drink without asking and throws the remaining liquid back in one gulp.

“Well I’m here aren’t I?” she argues.

“Dina,” Jesse raises his glass at her in acknowledgement.

“Jesse.” Her voice is flat and cold. The look she gives him is as cold as her voice. Ellie can’t help but feel happy at how quickly she shuts him down.

Dina grabs the taller girl’s hand and pulls her towards the dance floor. “C’mon.”

“Hey don’t forget we leave at first light, so get some rest!” he calls longingly after the girls walking away from him.

Dina turns back to give a mock salute. “Yessir!” Rolling her eyes, she continues to pull Ellie through the crowd.

_Ouch._ Ellie could feel the bite of Dina’s sarcasm from a mile away. She almost felt bad for him. It has to suck to be shut down like that. But honestly, Ellie’s just glad it’s not her. 

“You’re such a dick,” she chuckles teasing the beautiful girl.

“Come on, don’t you start with me,” she threatens, pulling the taller girl’s arms around her waist.

The sudden closeness of Dina makes Ellie straighten her posture. The smaller girl’s arms wrap around the back of her neck much like they had this morning. Warmth radiates between them and inside Ellie. The song is a slow song of course. Ellie wonders if she’s just lucky or if Dina has been purposefully picking her to dance to these songs. Just luck she concludes.

“Okay, I have a very serious question for you,” the smaller girl looks up at Ellie with very serious eyes.

_Oh, Fuck. _Ellie uses all of her strength to keep her face neutral, not showing the intense fear she feels. _What kind of question is it? She looks so serious; it must be bad._

“How bad do I smell?” A smile slightly breaks Dina’s serious face and relief washes over Ellie_. Why did she overthink everything?_ The taller girl leans in to sniff for emphasis. Lavender with a hint of sweat from dancing is all she can smell. Ellie wants to tell her how much she likes the way her smell feels like home. But that’s stupid and she can’t pass up a prime opportunity to tease Dina.

“Like a…. hot pile of garbage?” Ellie can’t keep from grinning at the way Dina pretends to be hurt by her words.

“Oh? Okay.” Dina tightens her grip around Ellie’s neck pulling them closer. She leans up to rub the gleaming sweat from her cheek onto Ellie’s. Their faces touching sends electricity through Ellie. She groans in fake disgust as the sweat transfers onto her skin. “How bout that?” Dina states proudly.

“Gross,” she teases, smiling at the shorter girl. 

“You love it.” Dina’s voice is soft as she pulls Ellie closer to dance. She lets her chin rest on the shoulder of the taller girl.

Ellie tenses at how close they are. She does love it. Whatever “it” is. The feelings for her best friend threatening to claw their way to the surface. She had done everything she could to bury them but moments like this seem to erase all of that. Her mind battles her heart as they sway to the slow rhythm. 

“Every guy in this room is staring at you right now,” Ellie whispers as she notices the looks they are getting. Some confused, some probably jealous. Dina lifts her head up slightly at the sudden comment.

“Maybe they’re staring at you?” Dina’s sweet breath tickles Ellie’s neck raising goosebumps.

She shakes her head at the statement, it almost made her laugh. No one looks at her the way everyone looks at Dina. “They’re not.”

“Maybe they’re jealous of you?”

_That sounds more like it._ Jealous she was getting to hold the most beautiful girl in town_. But, why?_ It was just a dance with Dina. She’d dance with everyone if time permitted. There were lots of guys in town, like Jesse, who are less awkward, less shy, and most importantly male. She was none of those things. _Why would anyone be jealous of me? _

“I’m just a girl…not a threat.” Her body feels empty as the words are spoken out loud. Their truth breaks Ellie’s heart as they dance. It didn’t matter if Dina danced, drunkenly kissed, or flirted with Ellie. She’d always be seen as her friend and that alone.

Dina leans back to look up at the taller girl, skimming her nose across Ellie’s cheek in the process. The dark brown eyes looking back at her are soft but disappointed at her statement. Her delicate hand reaches up and pushes the stray piece of auburn hair behind Ellie’s ear. Her hand rests on the back of the taller girl’s neck. 

The sudden warm touch pulls Ellie from drowning in her degrading thoughts. She realizes how close they are. Their faces inches from each other. _She’s so beautiful_.

“Oh, Ellie...”

Hearing her name whispered off the lips of her friend mixed with the way their eyes were locked on each other sends chills down Ellie’s body.

“…I think they should be terrified of you.”

_What the hell does that mean? _Ellie’s mind races as the brown eyes looking at her seem longing for something. They suddenly flash down at Ellie’s lips and back up. The smaller girl leans in closer. _Fuck, what is happening? _

Before Ellie can process anything else, Dina’s lips are pressed softly against hers. Ellie’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise_. Holy shit. _The smaller girl pulls back slightly seeming to let Ellie decide if this is something she wants. It was everything she wanted and more.

Ellie kisses her back with all of her being. Her hands tighten around the delicate waist of the smaller girl deepening their kiss. Her body is ignited with lust and desire. Every movement of Dina’s soft lips sends electricity through her veins. Their kisses become more urgent filled with tongues darting back and forth. Everything in the background has faded. It’s just the two of them in this moment.

Dina finally is the first to pull away and automatic anxiety fills Ellie. _What if she turns away? What if she thinks it’s a mistake? _Her face shows all the worry she feels inside.

“See? I told you. They should be terrified,” Dina reassures.

Ellie’s face is still warm as she processes everything_. Dina did want her. _The realization finally smacks the oblivious girl in the face. She can’t help the big toothy smile that plasters her face. She looks into Dina’s eyes with pure joy. Everything in that moment felt right.

After their kiss, Dina goes to get another drink and Ellie goes to the bathroom to collect herself. Locking the door behind her, she lets out a sigh that releases all of her feelings. Ellie can’t stop smiling. The person looking back at her in the mirror is someone she doesn’t recognize. Yes, the physical features are the same, but the smile and eyes shining with glee are so different from her usual worried, awkward expressions. _Am I dreaming? _ The kiss still lingering on her lips lets her know she’s not. She takes a big breath in trying to calm her excited mind and body. Deciding she’s as pulled together as she can be after kissing the most beautiful girl in Jackson, Ellie leaves the bathroom in search of Dina.

Ellie wanders back to the bar but is disappointed to see Dina not there. Her eyes scan the room looking for the small girl. Finally, she spots her standing in the back corner talking to Jesse. Dina smiles up at him as they talk. In horror, Ellie watches Dina rap him in a tight hug. The color drains from her face. All she sees is red. Anger boils her blood as she continues to watch. Knots twist her stomach until she feels sick. Everything comes crash down at once. _How could I be so fucking stupid?_ She turns and quickly exits the building feeling her hands ball into fists.

The cold air that hits Ellie doesn’t even phase her. Her body is hot with anger as she stomps home. _She really fucking fooled me this time. Such bullshit. How could Dina use her like that? Kissing her just to make Jesse jealous? Fuck Dina. _Ellie’s mind explodes with rage at the thought of being a pawn in Dina’s game.

When Ellie finally makes it home, she slams the door so hard behind her the whole house rattles. Joel would have killed her for making such a racket if he were home. _Fuck Joel too._ He had given her the glimmer of hope that maybe they could be more than friends. Her anger consumes her as she heads to her room and kicks the door open leaving a crack in it. Ellie slams into her bed hoping the fall would kill her and end her misery. _Pathetic. _Her inner voice relentlessly mocks her. _You really thought the prettiest girl in Jackson would pick you?_ Tears build in her eyes as she rips herself apart from the inside. But then, something snaps in her mind. The tears threatening to spill disappear. The anger vanishes. Her mind is blank. Everything is numb. Years of experience come in handy as she sits staring at the ceiling. _Nothing matters. _She doesn’t want to be numb but it feels a lot better than how she felt moments ago. Shutting off her feelings keeps her safe. Tonight just proves to her that being numb would always be the right choice. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I'll get the next chapter out asap! Here's the link. 
> 
> https://youtu.be/oxwAB3SECtc


	8. Yesterday

Ellie’s eyes burn as she stares up at her ceiling. It’s been an hour since she left the dance. Her mind is blank. The night is quiet. Too quiet. Scared to be alone with her thoughts, she gets up to play some music. She throws a random Beatles CD in, cranks the dial all the way up, and throws herself back on the bed. The slow melody begins blaring in her room.

_Yesterday all my troubles seemed so far away._   
_Now it looks as though they're here to stay._   
_Oh, I believe in yesterday._   
_Suddenly, I'm not half the man I used to be._   
_There's a shadow hanging over me._   
_Oh, yesterday came suddenly. _

She chuckles at the sick irony of the song playing. _Of course, this song would come on. _

_Why she had to go?_   
_I don't know, she wouldn't say._   
_I said something wrong._   
_Now I long for yesterday._

As much as Ellie loves the Beatles, she fucking hates them right now. 

_Yesterday love was such an easy game to play._   
_Now I need a place to hide away._   
_Oh, I believe in yesterday._

_Jesus Christ, sitting in silence is fucking better than this. _She jumps up and yanks the power cord out of the wall turning the depressing music off. Ellie sits down on her bed and massages her temples. Her head is pounding with the thoughts she’s desperately trying to suppress. Pounding so loud it sounds real.

_Shit. _It is real. Whoever it is, sounds like they were trying to break the front door down.

“Ellie, I know you’re in there! I heard your music playing!” Dina’s voice yells through the door.

Ellie’s heart drops hearing the voice yelling at her. _Hasn’t she ruined my life enough tonight?_ The banging continues despite no answer_. Fucking hell._

She stomps down the stairs and throws open the door. “What?” She barks at the smaller girl through the doorway.

The hurt in Dina’s brown eyes almost makes her ease up but the image of her and Jesse stays burning in the back of her mind.

“I was looking for you everywhere. I wanted to talk to you…” Dina’s voice is so soft and pain-filled it’s barely audible.

“Well I don’t fucking want to talk,” Ellie hisses. She tries to slam the door shut but the smaller girl stops it before it closes. Dina forces it back open surprising Ellie with her strength.

“What the fuck is your problem!?” Dina’s brown eyes ignite with rage as she pushes her way into the house.

“Just fucking leave me alone! Jesus Christ.” Ellie turns her back to Dina and walks to get a drink from the kitchen. She needs something strong. She didn’t want to deal with this now or ever. But knowing Dina, there was no way she’d leave without a fight.

Ellie gets a glass out of the cabinet and pours some of Joel’s strongest bourbon. She’d like to down the whole bottle and forget everything. Ellie hears the smaller girl finally coming to confront her in the kitchen and throws back the whole glass of dark fiery liquid. Her throat burns as it travels down into her stomach automatically warming her. She sits the glass in the sink with her back still to Dina. She didn’t even want to look at her.

“Are you going to ignore me all night? Or are you going to talk?” Dina’s voice raises as she questions Ellie.

The anger Ellie felt earlier crawls back up her body. Her hands clench the sink so hard she can see her knuckles turning white. _Is she just trying to piss me off more? _

“Ellie!?” Anger and confusion fill Dina’s voice.

“What the fuck is there to talk about?” Ellie yells into the sink refusing to turn around.

“Maybe why the hell you disappeared on me and why you’re being an asshole?”

_How am I the fucking asshole?_ Ellie finally spins around and pushes past the girl looking at her with daggers, trying to escape to her room. She just wants to be alone.

As she stomps down the hall a hand catches her arm and spins her around. The taller girl’s anger explodes outwards unable to be contained. “What the fuck do you want from me, Dina?! Why don’t you go bother your fucking boyfriend and leave me alone!?” Ellie’s voice is so loud it echoes in the empty house.

Dina’s face scrunches in confusion. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

The confused look given by the smaller girl only adds fuel to Ellie’s fire. _Does she really think I’m that stupid? _

“I’m talking about you fucking using me to make Jesse jealous! I saw you hugging him after you kissed me. That’s what I’m fucking talking about!” Red plasters Ellie’s face from screaming.

The shorter girl stays silent for a moment processing everything Ellie has screamed at her. The confusion in Dina’s eyes slowly turns to the realization then morphs into fury. The wild angry look in her brown eyes scares Ellie a little.

“You’re a fucking idiot Ellie! I hugged him because I told him I was sorry about being an ass earlier! I told him how scared I had been to kiss you and he said he was happy for us! I apologized for trying to get back together with him a few months ago and calling it off because I was really just scared of the feelings I had for you!”

Ellie’s eyes widen in surprise. All of the anger drains from her body.

“Ever since you sang that stupid song, I knew I liked you and I was fucking scared. That’s why I ran away! I didn’t know what to do so I tried to get back with Jesse but all I wanted was you! I was mean to him because I couldn’t handle my feelings so I thought I at least owed him an explanation!”

Ellie is so shocked she doesn’t even know what to say. It didn’t matter because Dina’s rant was far from over.

“But I thought maybe your dumb ass liked me too so I flirted, I got closer, I took care of you! For fuck sakes Ellie, I tried to make out with you when I was wasted! I did everything I could think of to show you how much I liked you and I got barely any answer.”

“But I…” Ellie tries to think of an excuse to calm the smaller girl down but Dina cuts her off quickly.

“But nothing Ellie!” Her voice raising an octave with rage. “I fucking kissed you in front of the whole town and it’s still not good enough!”

Dina is screaming in Ellie’s face at this point making the taller girl take steps back. She backs into the wall with a thud unable to escape. Dina moves in closer still raging.

“Do you know how long I waited to kiss you because I wasn’t sure how you felt? I just had to fucking do it because I needed to know, I couldn’t take it anymore!” Dina can’t stop at this point. The anger uncontrollably pushes the words out of her mouth.

_Holy fuck. _Ellie just stares at the girl laying into her, processing every word. _She’s wanted this for a while?_

“I care about our friendship but I had to know. So, I fucking kiss your stupid face in front of everyone and you leave. You jump to conclusions because I hugged Jesse without even talking to me first!? You really think after everything we’ve been through I would use you like that?” Dina gets inches from the taller girl’s face to make her final point. “I kissed you because I wanted to you idiot! So get it through your thick fucking skull that I want you, Ellie!” 

Dina is finally out of breath from screaming. Ellie braces for more but it never comes. Her warm breath still hitting Ellie’s face. Their eyes lock on each other in a heated stare. All of the feelings Ellie has buried for years come crashing to the surface. Her body suddenly lights on fire finally realizing the truth Dina had been trying to show her for months. _She wants me._

The final straw of self-control breaks inside Ellie. Her body moves on its own, grabbing the smaller girl’s waist pulling her in. Her lips crash into Dina’s taking the smaller girl by surprise. She can’t control the desire burning inside any longer. 

Dina kisses her back with urgency not caring if their teeth and noses bang into each other. Her arms quickly rap around Ellie’s neck letting her soft hands run through auburn hair. Feeling Dina’s hands in her hair sends Ellie into overdrive. She quickly flips their positions pinning Dina against the wall with force. She’s rewarded with a soft moan against her lips.

Everything is on fire. Her heart is beating so fast it threatens to explode. Dina bites the taller girl’s bottom lip making her whimper.

Ellie moves her lips down Dina’s jawline to the soft skin on her neck. She’d dreamed about kissing her neck a thousand times but it was nothing compared to the real thing. She kisses slowly down letting her tongue press against the warm skin there. Dina’s whimpers tell her she’s doing something right. Unable to control herself, Ellie sinks her teeth into the side of the smaller girl’s neck. Dina’s breath hitches and her hands grab tight fists full of auburn hair.

Ellie can’t help but smile at the way the beautiful girl reacts to every bite trailing down her neck. Determined to leave worse marks than Dina had drunkenly left on her, Ellie kisses and bites slightly harder the lower she goes. Her lips slowly work their way down to the exposed skin of Dina’s chest. Ellie’s hands slide under the maroon shirt, feeling the soft skin of her lower back. As she kisses the smaller girl’s sternum, Ellie uses her hips to further press Dina into the wall.

The sudden lower-body contact makes the beautiful girl moan aloud. “Fuck, Ellie.” 

She had fantasied about hearing Dina moan her name during lonely nights in her room. But this wasn’t a fantasy, this was real life and it only adds to the heat she feels between her thighs.

Her lips move back up to match the ones that had called her name. Electricity flows between every kiss getting deeper and deeper never wanting to come up for air. They explore further and further with each kiss as Ellie lets her hands slide up Dina’s soft back.

Surprisingly, Dina pushes her off with such force that Ellie stumbles back and hits the opposite wall with a thud. Both girls left panting loudly, trying to breathe normally again after refusing to break their connection for air. Emerald and brown eyes stare into one another. Lust and desire still shining bright in both.

They both knew they couldn’t have stopped themselves if they had gone any further. With so much still unknown about their relationship it was better to stop there…for now.

Ellie’s goofy smile breaks the sexual tension that fills the hallway. Dina smiles back and they giggle at their heated affair.

“Feel better?” Dina teases.

“Definitely.” Ellie can’t help the red that paints her face. She slides her back down the wall till her butt hits the ground. Dina does the same against the opposite wall, both girls letting their legs extend across the hallway towards each other. They stay sitting across from each other knowing how low their self-control is at this moment. Content silence fills the void while they still try to calm their breathing.

Not sure how to respond to everything, Ellie gets lost replaying the events that transpired seconds ago. The heat in her jeans persists just thinking about how it had felt to finally do things she had only dreamed of. Ellie can feel her face burning red as her mind continues to run wild.

“So, what now?” Dina’s voice breaks her heated thoughts.

“You want a drink or something?”

“Sure,” The smaller girl replies and jumps to her feet. She extends a hand to help Ellie up. The touch of the soft hand pulling her up sends sparks of electricity through Ellie.

_Jesus, I need to pull it together. _Ellie tries to calm her mind and body as she pours water into two glasses. She can feel eyes watching her every move.

The girls sit processing what everything means. Not sure how to feel about their relationship.

_ Dina will always be my best friend, but are we more now? Obviously, friends don’t make out with each other so did Dina only want the physical part? Something in between?_ _Or is she wanting to be my girlfriend?_ The sudden realization of possibly calling Dina her girlfriend sends her mind into overdrive.

Unable to contain her thoughts, Ellie breaks the silence. “So, what does this mean? Like for us?” Her words are rushed trying not to scare the short girl away.

Dina stares into her glass seeming to ponder the question she probably had already been asking herself. The more time that passes without an answer, the more Ellie worries. To her relief, a smile creeps across the beautiful girl’s face.

“Do we have to answer that right now?” Her eyes are soft as she looks up.

“No, we don’t,” Ellie smiles back.

Dina gets up and puts her glass in the sink. Ellie scoots her chair out to do the same but an unexpected, surprisingly strong push sits her back down. By the time she looks up Dina was already straddling the chair and sitting on her lap. Everything tingles at the sudden full body contact. Emerald eyes widen as the smaller girl raps her arms behind her neck. Their faces are inches from each other’s, so close that the smell of lavender overwhelms her senses. Ellie lets her hands rest on the top of Dina’s thighs feeling the warmth radiate threw her jeans.

“And besides…” Dina leans back slightly letting her hands slide down broad shoulders to play with the buttons on the taller girl’s blue flannel. “…I think you should take me on a few dates before we label anything.”

_Dates? How would we go on a date in Jackson? _Still questioning everything, Ellie’s mind goes blank when her eyes notice the darkly seductive look the girl on her lap is giving her. It short-circuits her brain and all she can do is nod back. The weight of Dina presses into her lap not helping her mind get any clearer.

Realizing Ellie is too flustered to speak, the smaller girl smiles a devilish smile and grips the collar of the flannel tightly. She pulls it in towards her bringing their lips to meet. She deepens the kiss letting her soft tongue brush against Ellie’s.

The taller girl is light-headed from the way Dina kisses her. Her fingers dig into the beautiful girl’s thighs, causing their kisses to become more urgent. Everything is on fire again like it had been in the hallway. Her hands begin sliding back and around but are stopped when Dina grabs her wrists refusing to let her strong hands feel any further.

“You’re going to get us in trouble,” Dina’s breathy voice barely a whisper against Ellie’s lips.

Ellie’s hands ball into fists to try to keep some resemblance of self-control. She can feel Dina smile against her lips at the frustration her teasing causes. She kisses Ellie harder totally unraveling her from the inside. Ellie can’t help the whimpers that escape her lips. Dina finally cuts the girl beneath her a break and pulls always slowly letting her kisses linger.

_Fuck._ Ellie’s heart pounds inside her chest. _Will it always feel like this? _She feels dizzy as the smaller girl backs off her lap. Her knees are weak when she stands almost making her fall back into the chair.

“I better go home, we have early patrol tomorrow handsome,” her voice like silk as she winks at Ellie.

Ellie walks the beautiful girl to the door, still unable to believe this isn’t a dream. Just a few months ago she was just singing a song to a girl who would never feel the same. But now everything has changed.

They reach the door but neither moves to open it. Ellie wants her to stay more than anything but she knows tonight gave them plenty to think about before continuing whatever _this_ is.

“Good night El.” Dina reaches up and kisses her lips softly. The kiss still sends electricity through Ellie, but it also calms her heart and mind. Everything feels right. 

“Goodnight,” she whispers with a shy smile.

She shuts the door as the beautiful girl leaves. _Holy shit._ _Did that really just happen? _Still, in shock at what had happened, Ellie goes to bed knowing her thoughts will never let her sleep. She had no idea what patrol would bring tomorrow, but she did know it would certainly be interesting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I'm gonna dedicate this chapter to my girlfriend because she's fucking awesome and supports everything I do. Here's the link to this slow jam. 
> 
> https://youtu.be/NrgmdOz227I


	9. Getting Better

Ellie only got a few hours of sleep the night after kissing Dina. Her mind kept replaying every feeling, kiss, and touch over and over. Every detail of the interaction was examined and reexamined. She quickly realized she would have to get better at not turning to mush from every touch, look, or kiss. Giving Dina that much control over her was terrifying. The way simple gestures lit her whole body on fire was also something to work on. She couldn’t let her mind get that distracted, especially on their morning patrol. Content with what had happened the night before and the mental plan she had laid out for tomorrow, Ellie finally drifts into a light sleep just three hours before she has to get up.

Emerald eyes snap open, waking up to a room barely lit from the morning sun that was beginning to rise. A grin creeps on her face at the memories of the night before. Looking out the window she sees the ground is solid white from the snow that must have fallen all night. Dreading the cold she’ll soon have to endure, the auburn-haired girl searches for her warmest clothes. A big grey hoodie over a long-sleeved shirt and jeans will hopefully do the job.

Ellie trots down the stairs to make some breakfast. Eggs were always a good choice, so she scrambles a few on the pan and waits while they fry. As she cooks, the front door opens signaling Joel is returning from his night watch.

_Thank God he wasn’t here last night_. Freckled cheeks turn red thinking about everything that happened while he was away.

“Good morning kiddo.”

“Good morning, do you want some eggs? I can throw more on.” Ellie’s back is turned to the old man but she can feel his stare on her as she cooks.

“Sure, that’d be great,” Joel’s voice is low and exhausted.

She scraps the eggs onto two plates and sits them at the table. They eat silently across from each other until the gruff voice breaks the silence.

“How was the dance?”

Ellie can feel her face turning dark red as she stares into her plate. _What would I even tell him? _She debates in her mind on what to say knowing Joel will see through any lie she tries to tell.

“Uhm…. good,” she finally musters out still refusing to look anywhere but her plate.

“You seem a little red for it to have been just _good.”_

_Shit. He knows somethings up. _“Yup, just good.”

“Hmm, so did you have fun with Dina?” he questions but knows the answer by the way Ellie’s face turns a darker red.

“Yup,” she states knowing he is just teasing her now. _Why can’t I hide stuff from him? _

“_Fun fun_ or just fun?” A devious grin pulls at his lips.

“Joel!” she yelps back at him finally looking up to see the old man chuckling at her expense. The look she gives him automatically makes him raise his hands in surrender.

“Okay, okay, I’m just messing with you,” he chuckles and continues to eat his eggs. Before he takes another bite he suddenly stops, unable to keep from throwing one more jab at the embarrassed girl. “But just know that when you do have _fun,_ my room is off-limits and it better be quiet if I am here, I don’t want to hear that shit.”

“Joel, oh my fucking god,” her voice cracks only adding to her embarrassment. She’d rather fucking die than listening to him give her house rules about sex. Quickly, she throws her dishes in the sink and heads to leave.

“Be safe out there Romeo!” he calls to her from the kitchen.

Ellie flips him the bird over her shoulder which only makes him laugh at how flustered his teasing made her. She slams the door behind her hoping he gets the message. _He’s such a fucking asshole. _

The blindingly white snow crunches softly under her feet as she walks. It’s cold outside but the lack of wind makes it bearable. Her cheeks still burn with embarrassment as she heads to the stables. Her heart quickly starts pounding as she gets closer to her destination. Just thinking about seeing the beautiful girl again makes butterflies flutter in her stomach. Strong hands get clammy in anticipation. _You can do this. Just stay mentally tough. She’s just a girl. Your best friend. She has no real power over you. _

“Good morning handsome.”

The sweet sultry voice breaks Ellie’s internal pep talk, threatening to ruin all the mental preparation she had done. Emerald eyes focus to see the beautiful girl walking Rose and Melvin out of the stable. Her black hair back in a bun as usual. Jeans and a black puffy winter jacket bundle the smaller girl attempting to fight the cold. Her lightly freckled cheeks flare red from the chilly bite in the air.

“Good morning,” Ellie smiles back shyly. Her calloused hands take Melvin’s reins from the smaller girl. They walk to the gate in content silence, just happy to be in each other’s presence again.

They were scheduled to patrol the library about five miles west of Jackson. It was an easy patrol given to the girls since it was Ellie’s first patrol since her ribs had healed.

They joke and laugh quietly all the way to the library. Ellie feels calmer than she had before, finally able to talk normally with her friend. Snow starts falling slowly to the ground halfway through their ride. She can’t help but admire how beautiful Dina looks with snowflakes coating her hair.

When they finally reach the library, the snow is falling hard, quickly rising higher off the ground. Expecting it to get worse before it gets better, the girls bring their horse into the lobby to keep them from having to stand in the snowstorm.

Once Melvin and Rose are taken care of, Ellie and Dina begin searching the library for infected. Quietly, they make their way through every room with caution. Only a few infected bodies lay motionless on the floor from past patrols.

The upper level proves to be empty as well. Glad, there were no threats to be dealt with, the girls head back to the lobby hoping to make it home before the storm got any worse. Reaching the horses, both girls stop, staring out the front door. Snow is falling as fast as rain, already adding a foot since they had arrived. The wind howls outside, they can’t see past a few feet out the door.

“We can’t go out in that,” Ellie decides. “I’m sure it will quit soon.”

“Well shit, I guess we will just have to spend some time together,” Dina teases the taller girl with a playful smile.

“That’s what I was afraid of,” Ellie teases back. A playful shove knocks her off balance as she looks over to see the most beautiful smile she’s ever seen. Brown eyes stare into hers making her stomach feel queasy.

“Come on handsome, I got a surprise.” A soft hand grabs a calloused one and pulls gently.

The sudden touch warms Ellie’s body. _Chill out._ _It’s just one touch. _

The smaller girl guides Ellie back to one of the reading corners and sits her on a couch. Dina dramatically plops down beside her and turns slightly to face the auburn-haired girl.

Ellie feels awkward under the watchful gaze of her friend. Red tints freckled cheeks as she notices brown eyes shamelessly roaming her body.

“So, what’s the surprise?” she nervously asks turning to face the smaller girl. The devilish look she gets in return makes chills run down her spine. _Shit._

The smaller girl unzips her winter jacket slowly. Emerald eyes widen at the sudden gesture.

“Oh relax,” she giggles at the wide-eyed girl. The black puffy jacket slips to the floor revealing a black pullover that hugs Dina’s slim body. Her hands dig in one of the pockets pulling out a nicely rolled blunt.

“Where the hell did you get that?” Ellie marvels.

“I know some people,” her voice softly seductive as she hands the blunt over.

Ellie rolls it through her fingers inspecting it. Weed was a very uncommon thing to have in Jackson. On rare occasions, a kid would bring a blunt or two to a party but it was very rare. Ellie had never smoked, unsure how it would affect her. Drinking had always been good enough for her. “I’ve never tried it,” she confesses.

“It’ll make you relax, and we both know you need some help with that,” Dina jokes taking the blunt back.

“I can too relax,” Ellie states defensively, hardening her expression.

“You almost combusted because I unzipped my jacket, Ellie.”

Dina’s deadpan stare turns the taller girl a dark red. _She’s right, I can’t relax around her._ Soft giggles from the beautiful girl calm her nerves slightly. _I can do this. _

Grabbing a lighter from her backpack, Dina lights one end and inhales from the other. The stench makes Ellie scrunch her nose in disgust.

Dina laughs at the disgusted face Ellie makes. “It’s not that bad, here try it.”

The smile of the smaller girl is reassuring as she passes the blunt. Ellie watches the smoke rise slowly from the burning end. _Fuck it._ Putting the wrap to her lips, she takes a deep inhale of smoke. The taste is almost as bad as the smell. The smoke ignites her throat quickly making her cough loudly until her eyes water. “Holy shit,” she gasps handing the blunt back.

Dina laughs at the coughing fit and continues to smoke while Ellie pulls herself together.

“Scale of one to ten, how would you rate our kiss from last night?” Dina’s voice is seductively warm with eyes that match.

The question catches Ellie off guard slightly. “Uh, which one?” she questions trying desperately not to get lost in the memories of each kiss from the night before.

“All of them.”

Ellie pretends to think hard about her answer knowing they were better than anything she had hoped for. But she can’t be that big of a pushover. “Hmm, I’d average the whole night out to about a seven.”

The look in Dina’s eyes is pure astonishment at Ellie’s ballsy teasing. She clinches her jaw and shakes her head slightly at the taller girl. “You’re infuriating.”

“Have you met you?” Ellie states matter-of-factly. Emerald eyes not backing down from the heated stare burning into them.

The two girls pass the blunt back and forth until there’s nothing left. They both sit quietly waiting for the high.

Ellie sits wondering if she smoked it wrong, not really feeling any different. Until slowly her feet start to tingle slightly. It rises up through her body to the top of her head. More and more her mind feels like the static on tv when a movie was finished. She raises her hands to her face noticing they seem to move in slow motion. The scars all over her calloused hands suddenly become extremely interesting. Each turn of her hands showing more and more scars she can’t remember getting.

“Feeling good?” The soft giggle reminds Ellie she isn’t alone.

The taller girl turns slowly to look into the most beautiful eyes she’s ever seen. Almost totally black now with how wide Dina’s pupils are dilated. Ellie knows she’s staring but she doesn’t really care anymore.

“Yeah, I feel pretty awesome actually,” she laughs.

“Good, you need to chill out sometimes El, it’s good for your health.”

“You know who needs to chill out? Joel, he embarrassed me so much this morning I wanted to die.”

_Shit, I need to shut the fuck up. _

“What happened? You have to tell me!” The smaller girl springs across the couch grabbing Ellie’s arm.

_Fucking hell. _“No, it’s nothing,” she tries to drop the subject but the hand on her arm squeezes tighter.

“Please tell me, and don’t lie. I can tell when you do.”

“You cannot!” Ellie tries to argue but a single soft finger pressed against her lips shushing her.

“Less arguing, more telling of an embarrassing story.”

The touch on her lips warms her already tingling body. Debating on what to say, the taller girl suddenly decides to just go for it.

“So, Joel asked me how the dance went because he knew how much I liked you even though I never told him anything, he’s just all-knowing or something. So, I told him we had fun because we did. A lot of fun actually.” Her words keep gushing out like water breaking through a dam. “And then he asked if we had _fun fun, _which obviously made me want to die. Then he keeps pushing it by telling me if we do have _fun fun _that his room is off-limits and that we need to be quiet if he’s home because he doesn’t want to hear that shit.” Finally done, Ellie looks over to see Dina’s mouth slightly open in surprise. Ellie’s buzzing mind finally catches up to what her mouth just said out loud. _Oh, fuck._

“But he was just being an ass and teasing me, like not that he thinks that would happen, or that I expect it to…I mean I’m not expecting anything…I’m just gonna stop talking now.”

_What the fuck is wrong with me? _Ellie closes her eyes shut tight not wanting to see the horror that was probably displayed on Dina’s face. She turns forward and lets her head flop back against the couch hoping her neck might break and end her embarrassment. With her eyes closed the high makes her body feel like it’s floating away. She’d like to right about now.

A weight holds her down though not letting her ascend into the sky. It’s not until she opens her eyes that she realizes its Dina’s weight that is holding her down. The small girl had straddled her lap and sat right down like it was normal. Ellie’s body ignites at the position she’s in. Brown eyes stare intensely down into hers searching for something. Soft hands rest on strong shoulders seeming to help hold her down. A soft smile breaks across the beautiful face looking at her, sending relief waves through her mind.

“So, you like me huh?” Dina’s voice teases softly. 

“Maybe a little…. or a lot actually.” Red paints her freckled face as she looks down shyly. _I am never smoking this shit again. _

A soft hand guides her chin, forcing her to look up. Dina’s eyes are soft and filled with admiration. They make Ellie feel weak inside. She had looked at Dina like that since the day they met and now the beautiful girl was looking back the same way. Ellie’s heart skips a beat as soft lips press gently against hers. The kiss makes everything in the world seem right.

Dina pulls back slowly still smiling. “You wanna know something? I like you a lot too.”

Ellie can’t stop the beaming smile that breaks across her face. Her strong hands finally move up quickly to cup the smaller girl’s cheeks pulling her down to kiss her until she can’t anymore. Ellie kisses her over and over again not wanting to ever let go. Both girls uncontrollably smiling against each other’s lips.

The smaller girl’s hands grip strong shoulders tightly when Ellie lets her hands slide down her slim body and grip the tops of her thighs. A soft tongue teases Ellie’s bottom lip sending sparks through her veins. Dina’s hands run through auburn hair as her bodyweight presses them further into the couch. The intense feeling of pure desire consumes them both.

Dina soon begins to slightly rock her hips in a slow rhythm as their kisses become more urgent. The sudden friction against her lap makes Ellie’s lower half lights on fire. She can’t help the low groan that escapes her lips. Strong hands move on their own to slide over the back pockets of Dina’s jeans squeezing tightly. The soft moan against her lips lets her know the sudden touch was welcomed. She pulls the smaller girl closer so that her rocking hits higher on her lap. Ellie bites and pulls gently on her bottom lip coaxing out a low moan from the beautiful girl on top of her. Soft hands grip tightly in auburn hair as the rocking motion becomes more obvious. The heat from between Dina’s legs radiates through the taller girl’s jeans letting her know just how turned on the smaller girl is. The realization mixed with the lingering high boosts her confidence.

Strong hands slide up still grinding hips and under Dina’s pullover to feel the warm skin underneath. They slide upward, expecting the smaller girl to stop them like she had last night, but rejection never comes. Pure want fills Ellie’s body as her fingertips brush up over the back straps of Dina’s bra. Almost instinctively, her nails dig into the smaller girl’s shoulder blades and scratch all the way down her back a little harder than she means to.

“Fuck,” Dina moans at the sudden roughness from the girl under her.

Ellie takes advantage of the break in their kissing to move down to show attention to the smaller girl’s jawline. Soft moans echo in her ear as she nips and kisses the warm skin above the collar of Dina’s pullover. The fire in her belly only grows knowing she was the reason for the sounds Dina couldn’t control. A calloused hand slides forward feeling Dina’s warm stomach constrict at the sudden touch. It slides up slowly allowing time for the smaller girl to stop her if she wants to. Her fingertips stop right below the bra wiring scared to push too far. Ellie leans her head back to look up. Emerald eyes lock on brown ones desperately wanting permission to continue feeling every inch of the girl above her.

Dina’s dark eyes show she understands what the taller girl wants. A smirk pulls at her lips as she leans back down to kiss Ellie softly. Her soft hands untangle from auburn hair to push Ellie’s arms back down to her side.

Ellie’s heart pounds in her chest scared she had done something wrong. The sweet smile Dina gives her washes away her worry quickly.

“I don’t think you’ve taken me on any dates yet, El,” the beautiful girl teases.

“Doesn’t this count as one?” Ellie’s voice is a little more desperate than she means it to sound.

The girl on her lap laughs loudly before leaning down to give another quick, sweet kiss. “Nice try, but not quite.” Brown eyes seem to take joy in driving Ellie crazy with lust then cutting her off. “And besides, you need to learn some control.”

“Huh?” Ellie’s confused look only makes the girl above her giggle more. She moves her hands up to unzip the top of her pullover to expose the rest of her neck to the girl below her. Emerald eyes widen in horror at the bright red and purple bruises covering almost every inch of newly exposed skin. Calloused hands reach up and pull the collar down further revealing more hickeys trailing all the way to protruding collarbones.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry. I didn’t…” her voice trails off as her fingers trace over the damage she’d done.

A sinful look flashes across the smaller girl’s face as she leans down to whisper in Ellie’s ear. “It’s okay El, I kinda like when you lose control.” The fire reignites inside Ellie as the warm confession rings in her ears.

“You couldn’t handle it if I really lost control,” she challenges still confident from the waning high.

Dina’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise at the unexpected challenge. “Oh, is that right?”

“Yup.” Ellie tries to keep her face as smug as possible.

“You’re so full of shit,” Dina laughs and playfully pushes strong shoulders back against the couch.

“I guess you’ll never know.” She shrugs her broad shoulders innocently, wanting to push Dina’s buttons. The smaller girl clenches her jaw at the sudden confidence of the usually shy girl, letting her eyes stare holes in Ellie.

“Or I could show you now.” In one quick move, she pins the girl previously on her lap under her on the couch. Strong hands lock Dina’s wrists above her head.

Brown eyes widen in surprise at the strength of the girl holding her down. She wiggles trying to free her arms with no luck. The girl above her stares down at her flashing eyes drunk with lust.

Ellie watches the girl beneath her start to breathe heavily with excitement. Her chest rising and falling quicker with every passing second.

Brown eyes wander the fit body above her shamelessly. “Please show me,” she whispers so low Ellie barely hears it. Her eyes shine up at Ellie with desire.

As much as Ellie wants too, she’s trying to prove a point. She leans slowly down so her lips are inches from Dina’s ear. “I would…but I’m working on my self-control.” She flashes a shit-eating grin down to the girl below and watches the fury ignite in her dark eyes.

“Ellie I’m going to kill you!”

The taller girl jumps off the couch to run away from the raging girl that soon leaps up to chase her. Ellie sprints through the book stacks laughing at the curses echoing after her. Dina finally traps her with only a table between them. “I’ve got you now you fucking tease.”

“Just letting you try some of your own medicine,” Ellie retorts still soaking in her victory. She tries to juke left and run right but the smaller girl quickly tackles her to the ground from behind.

Both girls bust out laughing at their childish chase. Ellie can’t remember a time she felt so happy and carefree. Dina rests her head on a strong shoulder and Ellie instinctively wraps an arm around her. They lay like this for a while, finally coming all the way down from their high.

The snow stops falling eventually letting the girls grab their horses and head home. Content silence fills the air on the ride back.

After dropping Melvin and Rose off at the stables, Ellie walks Dina home. The snow is up to their calves now making walking seem like a difficult task.

When they reach the door, Dina kisses her frozen lips goodnight instantly warming them. As the beautiful girl turns to head inside Ellie stops her. “Hey wait.” All of the confidence from her high has disappeared making shyness clamp her mouth shut.

“Yes?” Dina looks at her with soft eyes that make Ellie melt inside.

“I…. I uh was wondering…. umm… if you were free tomorrow night… if you’d want to go on a date…with me?”

“Hmm… I don’t know.” Watching Ellie’s face drop in disappointment makes Dina cut her teasing short. “Of course, I’ll go on a date with you handsome. I’ll be at your house at six.” Dina kisses her sweetly again before heading inside.

A goofy smile spreads across the taller girl’s face. She turns quickly to head home and get out of the cold. She can’t help but feel happy about everything that had happened. A smile stays permanently on her face all the way home. She may have had a rough life so far, but one thing was for sure, it was definitely getting better. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Finals are coming up so it will probably be hard for me to post regularly but I will do my best! Link to the inspiration 
> 
> https://youtu.be/EGlo9LzmOME


	10. I Want You

“All right, you got everything you need Romeo?”

“For the hundredth time yes,” Ellie sighs. “Can you please just leave now? I’ve got to get ready.”

‘Well if you need anything I’ll be at Tommy’s. Just be yourself kiddo.”

Joel finally heads for the door to Ellie’s relief. He had been “helping” her all day to get ready and clean for her date. He meant well but truthfully; he had only added to her stress.

“Don’t forget the _fun_ rules!” Joel shouts as he heads out the door.

_For fuck sakes._ “Goodbye!” she shouts back not hiding the annoyance in her voice. She hears his low chuckle before the door slams shut_. I really am gonna kill him one day. _

The clock on the wall showed a quarter to five. Ellie only had a little over an hour to get everything ready before Dina arrived.

Her feet barely touch the stairs as she sprints up them. _What am I supposed to wear?_ Slightly ripped black jeans go on first. She raids through her drawer for a decent shirt to wear. Clothes weren’t really something Ellie stockpiled so there wasn’t much to choose from. She decides on a maroon long-sleeve because it was the least wrinkled shirt in the drawer. Looking in the mirror, she puts half of her auburn hair back to keep it off her face and lets the rest stay down.

The more time that passed the more nervous she felt. Ellie had never been on a date before. Getting ready didn’t take as long as she had predicted, leaving her thirty minutes to stress_. Why am I so nervous? Dina has been my best friend for years. We’re just hanging out. I can do this._ Ellie quickly throws all the clothes back into the drawer and straightens up the rest of her room.

A light knock on the door makes Ellie’s stomach sink. _Fuck, it’s only 5:45. Why is she early?_ Calloused hands quickly comb through auburn hair trying to wrangle some stubborn hairs. _Fuck it._ Her stomach still in knots, Ellie walks to open the door.

Emerald eyes widen at the beautiful girl in her doorway. A dark green top cut low exposing sculpted collarbones and a little more chest than Ellie could handle. A tight black skirt hugs curves perfectly and stops right above soft knees. Black hair fell perfectly down onto Dina’s shoulders. Ellie couldn’t remember a time she had seen it not up in a bun. “Woah,” Ellie whispers forgetting to not speak out loud.

“Hello to you too,” Dina teases with seductive eyes that roam up and down Ellie. “Are you gonna let me in or make me freeze?”

Red paints the taller girl’s face. “Sorry,” she mumbles and steps aside to let Dina come in. Soft lips peck her cheek only adding a shade to the red burning there. Ellie’s eyes can’t stop staring at the beautiful girl in front of her. _Everything about her is perfect._

“So, what’s the plan, El?” 

The question pulls Ellie out of her trance. “Uhm, well I was gonna make us dinner and I thought we could watch a movie…if that’s okay?” Having never been on a date, Joel said dinner and a movie was a great first date, but now she wasn’t so sure. “But we can do something else if…”

A soft hand grabs a calloused one and squeezes softly cutting off Ellie’s nervous rambling. “That sounds great.”

The reassuring smile and touch calm the taller girl’s nerves. _I can do this._ Her strong hand guides the smaller girl to the kitchen never wanting to let go.

“So, what are you making chef?”

A smug smile pulls on Ellie’s lips. “Only the best omelet you’ve ever tasted.” She couldn’t cook much but anything with eggs was a safe bet.

“Oh, really? That’s a pretty bold statement.” A shit-eating grin spreads across the smaller girl’s face. Dark seductive eyes seem to challenge emerald ones, locking Ellie into an intense stare. Dina’s arms wrap around the taller girl’s neck pulling them close enough to kiss. “I’ve had some pretty good omelets before.”

The sudden closeness of Dina sets Ellie on fire. She just wants to kiss that smug look off her face and that’s exactly what she does. Catching the smaller girl off guard, Ellie leans down and presses her lips firmly to hers. Electricity jolts through her body making her heart pound against her chest. Ellie pulls away slowly hoping her kiss has the same lingering effect Dina’s have. “Well, this one will hopefully be the best.”

Ellie gathers the ingredients needed and begins to cook their dinner. Rolling her sleeves up, she begins mixing in cheese, spices, and diced tomatoes with her eggs. She catches Dina staring at her newly exposed forearms that flex with every stir. She makes a mental note to flex them more often.

The creamy mixture sizzles as it drops into the hot pan. Ellie carefully flips the omelets with perfect precision not wanting to mess them up. The smell wafts through the kitchen making Ellie realize how hungry she actually is.

Ellie finally decides the omelets are cooked as well as she possibly could get them and slowly slides both onto plates. She turns to Dina already sitting at the table waiting for her. Ellie places the omelet in front of Dina and the other across the table. Joel had already set their silverware on napkins on the table before he left because it “looked nice”.

“What would you like to drink ma’am?” Ellie’s sarcastic tone makes the smaller girl smile.

“Water, please….I could get used to this.”

A scarred eyebrow raises in confusion. “Get used to what?”

“A hot girl making and serving me dinner every night.” A sly smile creeps on the smaller girl's face as she watches Ellie’s face tint red.

_Hot? Does she really think that?_

After getting their drinks, Ellie finally sits down across from the beautiful girl and they begin to eat. A sudden awkward silence falls over the kitchen. _I’m really on a date with my best friend. Holy shit. _

“Damn, El…this is pretty good.”

“Just pretty good?”

Dina smiles and exaggerates rolling her eyes at the taller girl. “Okay, the best.”

Ellie can’t help but feel proud of herself. A goofy smile pulls at her lips.

“You’ll have to teach me how to make them one day.”

“Yeah, someone needs to teach you how to cook,” Ellie chuckles softly.

Dina’s eyes widen in surprise at the comment. “You didn’t seem to complain when you were hurt and I made you dinner for weeks,” she challenges back.

“The only reason I ate that shit was because I wanted you around.” Ellie giggles at the way Dina dramatically opens her mouth in shock at the relentless teasing.

“Then I guess I need to find someone who appreciates my cooking,” Dina scoffs and crosses her arms pretending to be offended.

Knowing that Dina is just trying to get under her skin Ellie lets one more jab slip out as she picks at her plate. “You’ll be looking forever then.” Proud of herself, she looks up to gloat in her victory only to have a piece of omelet smack her in the forehead. “Hey! What the…” before she can finish another chuck pelts her cheek.

Dina’s laugh echoes through the kitchen as she watches egg slide down Ellie’s freckled cheek. Still under fire, the taller girl raises her hands in surrender. “Okay! Okay! I love your cooking!” she shouts shielding herself with her arms from any more flying egg. Peeking over her arm to see if the assault was over, one final piece pelts her right between the eyes. “Are you done?”

“Yes, I feel better now.”

Ellie shoots the meanest look she can across the table while hiding the smile pulling on her lips. It only makes Dina laugh harder.

The two girls finish up their dinner and clean up the mess they made in the kitchen. Dina wipes the remaining eggs off the taller girl tenderly with her thumb. The touch and closeness of Dina warms her whole body. Emerald eyes burn with desire. Ellie’s lips ache to kiss her again but the smaller girl pulls her hand away and smiles softly up at her.

“As much as I know you love this outfit, can I borrow some comfier clothes to watch the movie in?” Dina’s voice is as soft as it is seductive.

“Yeah, that’s fine,” Ellie mumbles still a little lost in the desire burning inside.

Dina pecks her cheek and quickly heads up the stairs. Ellie walks to the living room to make sure everything was set up to watch the movie. Joel had helped her lay out sleeping bags and put blankets over them to make a comfy place to lay on the floor in front of the tv. The couch would have worked but it was only a love seat and it was missing two legs on the left side. Since Joel and Ellie usually sat in the two recliners on either side of the couch, they never saw a need to fix it. Ellie threw the couch pillows on the floor for them to use and looks for another blanket in the closet. Finding one, she turns around to see Dina leaning against the doorway watching her.

A two times too big green t-shirt swallows the smaller girl, the neck stretched out, halfway exposing defined collarbones. The hem of the shirt hangs low on the shorter girl barely showing the plaid boxers she had borrowed from Ellie’s drawer. The short boxers revealed much more of Dina’s toned legs than Ellie could handle. Emerald eyes widen with lust at the way Dina looks in her clothes. _God, she’s so hot._

Seeing the way Ellie is staring at her makes a devious smile creep onto Dina’s face. “So, what are we watching, El?” The smaller girl moves and sits crisscross on the makeshift bed on the floor.

“Let me change and we can decide.” Ellie jogs up the stairs to change and tries to calm the fire burning inside.

As she heads back down in a black t-shirt and sweatpants, she notices a mischievous grin on Dina’s face. Finally sitting down, Ellie sees the remote gripped in Dina’s hand. Already knowing what had happened while she was upstairs, the discarded DVD box on the floor confirms her nightmare.

“We are NOT watching Titanic again,” Ellie states, grabbing for the remote. Every time it was Dina’s turn to pick the movie, she picked Titanic. It didn’t matter that they had watched it a hundred times. Ellie could probably recite a majority of it by memory.

Dina jerks the remote just out of the taller girl’s reach. “And why not?” she pouts.

“Because we have watched it a million times! Now hand the remote over.” Ellie grabs at the remote again still unable to reach.

“Make me,” Dina’s voice is infused with seductive tones making Ellie tingle.

The two girls wrestle over the remote until Dina drops it on the floor only worried now about fighting with the taller girl. In two quick movements, Dina pins Ellie on her back with wrists locked above her head.

Ellie always thought of herself as one of the best hand to hand fighters in Jackson. When she found herself pinned by the smaller girl, she couldn’t keep the surprised look off her face. “Where did that come from?” she gasps still shocked.

Dina giggles at the girl trapped beneath her. “The only reason you pin me in combat class was because I let you.” An evil grin plasters the smaller girl’s face.

Every few months a hand to hand combat class was required for every one that went on patrols. Dina always picked Ellie to be her partner. As Ellie went through her memories, she remembers how easy it was to pin the smaller girl. The seductive looks Dina would give Ellie after she had pinned the smaller girl always made her nervous and turned her red. Emerald eyes widen in realization. _Holy shit, maybe she did let me. _

Ego slightly hurt; Ellie rolls her eyes at the smaller girl. “Yeah sure, you did.” Ellie tries to keep teasing but the way Dina is sitting on her hips makes her brain short-circuit.

“How about this big shot, if I pin you, we watch Titanic and if you pin me you can pick.” Brown eyes shine down challenging the taller girl.

“Oh, you’re on.”

Dina lets Ellie up and they begin to wrestle again but much more competitively. Although she puts up a good fight, Ellie’s raw strength overpowers the smaller girl. Flat on her back, Dina is pinned against the floor with Ellie’s forearm pressing against her throat.

Pride flows throughout Ellie, reviving her previously bruised ego. As she looks down, the brown eyes dripping with desire stare up at her making her weak.

“I wish you’d fuck me like this,” Dina whispers with a forearm still pressing lightly on her throat.

Ellie’s eyes widen in complete shock. Everything in her body bursts into flames, her whole face reddens. Unable to process the words making her head spin, she realizes the intention of the comment a second too late. Dina hits the strong arm on her throat to the side and rolls to the left leaving Ellie to hit the floor with a thud. Dina jumps on the back of the auburn-haired girl and holds her head against the floor.

Dina’s laughter booms through the house only making Ellie turn redder. “Hey! That’s not fair!” she whines face still pressed against the floor.

“Everything’s fair in love and war,” Dina gloats. She finally lets go of Ellie’s head and raises her hips up slightly letting the taller girl roll on her back underneath her. She immediately sits back down still trapping Ellie beneath her. The look of defeat on Ellie’s face makes Dina giggle more. Small hands press down on Ellie’s wrists. “Aww, don’t be sad, I won’t tell anyone I beat your ass.”

The smug smile matched with seductive eyes makes Ellie forget what she was whining about. The feeling of the smaller girl’s weight pressing down on her hips sends electricity through every part of her body. Ellie’s breath starts to get rapid from the pure desire threatening to explode within. Her chest rising and falling quickly with excitement.

Picking up on the lust radiating from the girl beneath her, Dina leans down to whisper in her ear. “Now you know why I let you pin me.”

The words whispered in her ear are dizzying. The lips that crash into hers only make Ellie feel more drunk with want. Their kisses become urgent with tongues exploring each other. Strong hands struggle to break free from the ones holding them down. The taller girl whines softly wanting to be able to touch the girl above her.

The whine against her lips only makes Dina smile at the power she has over Ellie. Breaking their passionate string of kisses, the smaller girl runs her lips down a defined jawline and onto a strong neck.

The lips on her neck send Ellie into overdrive. Her eyes shut tight as her head is thrown back. She can’t help the low moan that escapes when a warm tongue presses against her skin. When teeth nip her neck, it sends a jolt of electricity to her lower half making her hips buck slightly. Ellie struggles more desperately wanting to be free but the smaller girl holds firm. Dina’s lips trail back up her neck till they stop right below her ear.

“I want you.” Dina lets go of Ellie’s wrists knowing what her quiet confession will unleash in the girl underneath her.

Feeling like a wild animal being released from a cage, Dina’s words are the spark that sets off the explosion inside. Ellie flips the smaller girl on her back and kisses her with all the fire burning within. Her thigh slides in-between the smaller girl’s legs.

“Ellie,” Dina gasps against soft lips at the sudden contact between her legs. Her soft hands run up strong arms and shoulders into a sea of auburn hair.

Calloused hands reach down to feel up the outside of a toned thigh, over the soft fabric of her boxers, and grip perfect hips. Slowly, she drags her hand upwards under Dina’s shirt expecting to stop at the wiring of a bra but it never comes. She must have taken it off when she changed and the shirt was so big on her Ellie hadn’t even noticed. Her hand freezes scared to move any further without permission.

“Please,” Dina whispers softly, eyes dilated with lust.

Ellie lets her hand continue up carefully over hardened peaks. The moans against her lips give her the confidence to let her hand roam freely under the shirt. Every touch makes soft hands grab fists full of auburn hair.

Eventually, a soft hand untangles from auburn hair and grabs onto Ellie’s wrist. It guides a strong hand down to the waistband of her boxers until Ellie pulls her lips away suddenly. Emerald eyes search for any sign of doubt from the girl underneath her. “Are you sure? We don’t have to do…”

A sweet kiss is placed on her slightly sore lips, cutting Ellie off. “I want to.” Dina’s voice is as soft as her eyes that look up at the taller girl with admiration and care. Ellie had never seen Dina so vulnerable and it catches her a little off guard. Her heart pounds against her chest as she leans down to kiss the beautiful girl sweetly ready to continue down this path she’d only dreamed of.

Her fingertips trace the soft skin above the waistband teasing the smaller girl. Dina’s kisses become more urgent begging Ellie to continue.

Just as Ellie lets her fingertips dip below the waistband a loud pounding echoes from the front door. The two girls jerk apart startled by the sudden interruption. They both look at each other panting from their heated affair and the sudden scare. _Who the fuck is here?_

Pulling herself together, Ellie stands up and walks to open the door only to find Joel standing on the other side. “What the fuck are you doing here?” she growls.

Joel’s eyes fill with remorse as he tries to explain. “I’m sorry! I promised Tommy we would play guitar together like back in the day and I forgot it so I’m just gonna run in and get it.” The apologetic smile does nothing to extinguish the rage building up in Ellie.

“Hurry!” she barks and turns to let Joel in.

“Hey Joel,” Dina smiles unphased by the sudden interruption.

“Hey Dina, how’s the date going?”

“That’s enough from you!” Ellie shouts and begins steering Joel forcefully to his room.

She slams the door shut behind them. “Are you kidding me?! What the fuck are you doing?” Ellie tries to shout at him in a whispering voice as to not let Dina hear.

“I’m getting my guitar! I’m sorry!” Joel whispers aggressively back.

“Well hurry you’re ruining everything!” She shoves his shoulder still blatantly pissed off.

Joel chuckles as he looks for his guitar. “Did I interrupt yall’s fun?” The shit-eating smirk on his face only makes Ellie madder.

“Yes, you did and actually you’re the biggest fucking cock block in the whole world so if you could kindly hurry the fuck up and get out, I’d really appreciate it!” Too mad to be embarrassed by her confession she just glares at the surprised Joel.

“Oh shit, I’m sorry Ellie.” The teasing is gone in his voice and is replaced by true remorse.

The authenticity in his apology softens her slightly. He grabs his guitar and they both head back through the living room to the front door.

“Goodnight Joel,” Dina smiles sweetly and waves.

“Goodnight you two, be safe and don’t do anything…”

“Goodnight Joel!” Ellie shouts over him and pushes him out the door slamming it behind him. She closes her eyes and lets her forehead thud against the door. “He’s going to be the death of me one day,” she moans.

Dina gets up and hugs the taller girl from behind. “Well, that day can’t be today because I’m pretty sure you have to watch Titanic with me since I won fair and square.”

The warm arms wrapped around her and the usual teasing extinguishes the anger inside Ellie. “I don’t know if that is what I’d call fair,” she laughs, turning to face the beautiful girl.

“Well it worked didn’t it?” Dina leans up and kisses her softly leaving her breathless. The smaller girl turns quickly and skips to start the movie.

The girls get settled in front of the tv as the movie starts. Ellie lays on her back with her arm around Dina who rests her head on Ellie’s chest.

As expected, Dina is sound asleep about an hour in. Ellie lays thinking about everything that happened. _How did I get this lucky?_

Eventually, Ellie gets sleepy and decides to carry the smaller girl to bed. She scoops her up off the floor slightly waking Dina up. Her mumbles are undistinguishable as she wraps one arm around a strong neck to hold on as she’s carried. Ellie makes her way up the stairs to her room soaking in the warmth from the girl in her arms. Carefully, she lays Dina down in her bed covering her up with the blanket.

As much as Ellie wants to sleep with her, she doesn’t want to overstep. She leaves a soft kiss on Dina’s forehead and turns to go sleep in a recliner. Before she takes a step to leave, a soft hand catches hers pulling her back.

“Please don’t go,” Dina mumbles half-asleep.

“Are you sure?”

“Just lay down Ellie,” she grumbles tiredly and lifts the covers for the taller girl to get under them.

As she slides into the bed, Dina rolls over giving Ellie room to lay down. She reaches back pulling a strong arm around her torso.

Ellie pulls Dina closer not wanting any space between them. Emerald eyes close with content and she sleeps soundly with a beautiful girl in her arms. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took a while! School is kicking my ass but I promise I'll get the next chapter up asap. Thanks for reading, here's the link.
> 
> https://youtu.be/tAe2Q_LhY8g


	11. She Loves You

A soft touch on Ellie’s face lightly pulls her from a peaceful sleep. Warmth surrounds her body like a cocoon, making it seem almost impossible to open her eyes. The touch traces up the bridge of her nose and over a scarred eyebrow. It pushes a strand of loose hair behind her ear and slowly feels down a strong jawline. Ellie opens her eyes slowly letting them focus on the girl in front of her. Probably the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen. Black hair tousled from sleep, face soft with still tired features, and dark brown eyes that follow the path of the hand that traces Ellie. Everything feels right at that moment.

A soft smile pulls on Ellie’s lips. Unaware the taller girl had been awake for a few moments; brown eyes meet emerald ones apologetically. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you,” her voice slow and sweet like honey.

“It’s okay,” Ellie whispers as she wraps an arm around the smaller girl’s waist pulling her closer. A soft hand stops tracing and rests on her cheek. “What are you doing today?”

“I have a three-day patrol starting at noon so I need to get ready soon actually.”

Ellie’s heart dropped slightly; sad they couldn’t stay like this forever. She’d fought to go on that patrol but Tommy said it was too soon for her ribs and that she could go on the next one. Highly irritated, Ellie had walked off and forgotten about it until now. A slight frown crawls across her face.

“Aww, don’t pout El. When I get back, I’ll have two days off and you can have me all to yourself.”

Dina’s words are laced with seductive tones that warm Ellie instantly. The frown on her lips automatically flips to a grin. Emerald eyes turn soft with contentment. The thought of having Dina all to herself still feels like a dream. A strong arm pulls Dina even closer hoping to convince her mind she’s not dreaming.

The sudden closeness makes Dina giggle. “You better stop or I won’t want to get up.”

“Maybe that’s the point,” Ellie whispers suddenly confident off the fire quickly growing inside and fact that Dina is actually in her bed. Her hand slides down feeling the smaller girl’s side and warm leg. Brown eyes widen at the unusual confidence. Using her other arm to prop herself up, the auburn-haired girl leans over and presses her lips softly against Dina’s. The soft hand on her cheek slides back to grab the back of her neck, deepening their kiss. Their bodies seem to melt together in the warm bed, kissing until their lips are sore.

Suddenly, the girl below her pulls her lips away slowly. Ellie looks deep into brown eyes that shine with admiration.

“Do you have to go?” Ellie pouts letting her bottom lip sticks out slightly.

Dina stares intensely back at her searching for something in emerald eyes. The beautiful face changes quickly into pure vulnerability, something Ellie isn’t used to seeing. She raises a scarred eyebrow at the girl beneath her silently wondering what caused the sudden change in her.

“I love you, Ellie.”

Emerald eyes widen in pure shock. Her stomach drops and face hardens. Everything shuts down in her mind. Pure fear grips her body leaving her unable to respond. She searches Dina’s face frantically for any sign that she’s joking. Not finding one only makes her spiral further. Ellie had never told anyone she loved them. Feelings were something she tried desperately to avoid. Loving someone meant that she would eventually get hurt and this world had hurt her enough already. She did love Dina but she hadn’t admitted that to herself yet and she wasn’t sure that she ever could. The fear of getting so attached to someone scared her more than any infected ever had.

_What am I supposed to say? _The longer she stays silent the more worried the girl beneath her looks. _You have to say something, you idiot. _Her mind races to try to think of some way to explain how she feels but it never comes.

“Okay,” Ellie finally whispers. She regrets speaking as soon as the words escape her lips.

“Okay?” Dina’s voice is filled with pure disappointment.

Ellie winces knowing the mistake she has made. “I just…. I….”

“No, it’s fine, I get it.” The disappointment has vanished from her voice and is replaced by anger and hurt. She pushes out from under Ellie and gets up. Dina grabs her clothes off the floor and starts to walk to the door.

Ellie feels terrible. Everything hurts inside, she feels frozen unable to do anything but watch Dina walk away. “Dina wait, I’m sorry… I…” She jumps up trying to fix the shit storm she has created. 

“I’ll just see you when I get back from patrol.” Dina’s voice is as cold as ice. Hurt plasters her face making Ellie feel even worse.

Dina walks out the door without ever looking back. The front door slams loudly behind her.

“Fuck!” Ellie yells as she sits back down on her bed. She massages her temples in frustration. _Why am I so fucking stupid? How could I just say okay? I bet she fucking hates me. God, why do I have to fuck everything up? I should have known I couldn’t keep this going. _

The voice inside her head tears her apart. Ellie drags herself downstairs to get a drink to numb her pain. The bourbon hurts her throat but it’s a welcomed distraction. She throws another back and lays her head down on the table. _Why couldn’t I just say it back? She’s been your best friend for years, of course, you love her, idiot. Maybe I should cut it off, she shouldn’t have to deal with this. _

The front door opens suddenly making Ellie raise her head quickly hoping Dina had come back. “Oh, it’s just you.” She lets her head thud back down on the table as Joel walks into the kitchen.

“It’s a little early for bourbon don’t you think kiddo?” Joel’s voice is gruff but laced with concern.

“No.”

Joel slides into the chair across the table. “Look I know I ruined your date and I’m sorry…”

“You didn’t. I did,” Ellie cuts off his apology with a sigh. She can feel his eyes staring at her waiting for her to continue. “She told me she loves me and I freaked out and said okay.”

“Ouch,” Joel grunts.

“Yeah, I know. I freaked out and now I don’t know what to do,” she whispers still angry at her own stupidity.

Joel slowly shifts in his chair still a little uncomfortable talking about personal stuff in a non-teasing manner. “Well do you?” he questions quietly.

“Huh?”

“Do you love her?”

Ellie plays with the glass in front of her while she thinks. Usually talking like this with Joel would embarrass her to no end but she can’t find a reason to care that much right now. “I do…. I’m just…I don’t know… scared,” her voice barely above a whisper.

Joel slowly gets up from the table and pats her shoulder as he walks to his room. She hears him rustling around until it gets very quiet. The sound of his CD player turning on makes Ellie slightly angry_. I actually talk to him and he just goes and plays music. Asshole. _

Joel skips a few tracks until he gets to the one he wants to play. The drums echo through the house as he turns it up.

_She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah_

_You think you lost your love_   
_Well, I saw her yesterday_   
_It's you she's thinking of_   
_And she told me what to say_   
  
_She says she loves you_   
_And you know that can't be bad_   
_Yes, she loves you_   
_And you know you should be glad_

The lyrics swim around in Ellie’s mind as she tries to deal with her feelings for once.

_You know it's up to you_   
_I think it's only fair_   
_Pride can hurt you too_   
_Apologize to her_   
  
_Because she loves you_   
_And you know that can't be bad_   
_Yes, she loves you_   
_And you know you should be glad_

_She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah_   
_She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah_   
_With a love like that_   
_You know you should be glad_

The song finishes and she hears Joel turn the player off and sit down. _Why is he always right? _Ellie drags herself up from the table and stands in his doorway. “What am I supposed to do?” she asks actually wanting all the help she could get.

Joel looks at her surprised at the sudden question. Ellie watches the wheels turn in his mind.

“Apologize?”

“No shit,” Ellie scoffs as she lets her head thud against the door frame.

“Well knowing Dina, it probably needs to be something big. I’m not sure a simple I’m sorry will cut it.”

Ellie searches her mind for some kind of answer to fix the mess she’s made. Finally, an idea hits her. “Yeah, I can do something big.”

Joel stands up and wraps Ellie in a big unexpected hug. As much as they bicker and tease each other, she knows he’ll always be there for her. “Thanks, Joel,” she mumbles against his shirt.

“No problem kiddo. It’ll work out. Just don’t fuck up again,” Joel chuckles releasing the girl from his hug.

“Oh, fuck off,” She grumbles and playfully shoves his shoulder. She turns and jogs up the stairs to work on her apology before she has to go to her watch shift. Still slightly angry at herself, Ellie feels a little better having hope that she can fix her mistake. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for reading! Ya'll are awesome. Here's the link to this classic. 
> 
> https://youtu.be/nGbWU8S3vzs


	12. Do You Want To Know A Secret

The three days that Dina was on patrol were brutal for Ellie. She stressed and worried constantly that Dina wouldn’t want anything to do with her when she got back. Her string of night watch shifts had only given Ellie more time to analyze everything that had happened and how bad she had fucked up.

Ellie spent most of her time off working on her apology hoping Dina would accept it. She did love Dina more than anything but that scared her more than anything. She knew that shutting Dina out and pretending she didn’t have these feelings had obviously already backfired. As hard as it was, Ellie worked on thinking through her feelings instead of going numb, but it was much harder than she’d anticipated.

The day Dina was supposed to return finally came. A nervous wreck, Ellie paces back and forth in her room going over everything she had practiced. She had ironed her green flannel hoping it would help in some way. Sitting back down her bed, Ellie combs her fingers through auburn hair nervously. Worn out sneakers bounce anxiously against the floor. _What if she doesn’t even want to talk to me. She probably hates me. I have to try. I can do this. _

Looking in the mirror, she refolds her collar trying to look as nice as possible. Ellie’s heart races just thinking about seeing Dina. Pain grips her as she remembers the hurt in Dina’s eyes the last time she saw her. Ellie couldn’t even imagine how upset Dina had felt after that_. I have to make this right._

Taking in a deep breath, Ellie grabs her guitar and heads down the stairs and out the door. The late afternoon sun shines bright slightly warming the chilly December air. The walk is over way to quick and she stands, staring at Dina’s front door. Too scared to move, Ellie just stands on her front porch debating running back home. _I can do this._

Slowly a strong hand shakily knocks on the door. Ellie stands quietly listening to footsteps shuffle around in the house and finally come to the door. Dina stands in the doorway looking beautiful as ever. Hair wrapped up in a towel drying from a probably much-needed shower. A shower after a few days on patrol was one of Ellie’s favorite things. The way the warm water washed all things physical and mental away was so relaxing.

Thin arms cross defensively across Dina’s chest. Brown eyes stare coldly at Ellie.

“Hi,” Ellie whispers nervously trying to get her brain to work correctly.

Nothing. Dina doesn’t speak, her face doesn’t change, nothing.

_This is going to be harder than I thought. _Ellie had hoped the three days apart had given the strong-willed girl time to cool off. No luck.

“Can I please come in?”

Dina slightly moves to the side letting Ellie enter. The taller girl stands awkwardly in the living room guitar still hanging on her back. Dina walks silently and sits on the couch in front of her. She unwraps the towel letting down beautiful black curly hair. 

Ellie’s nerves start getting the best of her. Freckled cheeks burn red and small beads of sweat start forming on the back of her neck. Dina’s silence is devastating, only adding stress.

Ellie tries to smile hoping Dina will cut her a break. The dead-pan stare she gets back lets her know that wasn’t happening.

_ She hates you. It’s not worth embarrassing yourself. You know you could never keep a girl like Dina. Just leave. _Ellie takes a deep breath trying to silence the voice in her head. _Fuck it. It can’t get any worse than this. _

“I know I’m bad with words…and uh feelings….and stuff. So, I worked on this while you were gone.” Ellie’s voice shakes as she speaks. Strong hands pull the guitar around so it situates perfectly across her body. She digs in the pocket of her black jeans searching for a pick. Sweat builds in her palms making it hard to grip. Emerald eyes look up one last time hoping to see a change in Dina’s face but there’s none. _God help me._

Ellie takes a deep breath and begins to play.

_You'll never know how much I really love you  
You'll never know how much I really care_

Ellie glances up to see hardened features softening. It gives her a slight flash of hope as she begins the first chorus.

_Listen_   
_Do you want to know a secret?_   
_Do you promise not to tell?_   
_Whoa_   
_Closer_   
_Let me whisper in your ear_   
_Say the words you long to hear_   
_I'm in love with you_

Ellie can’t help but smile after singing those words to Dina. It feels like a hundred pounds have been lifted off her chest. Ellie had loved her since the first day they met and it felt amazing to finally admit it to Dina and to herself. The sudden enlightenment eliminates the nerves that had been killing her for days. Slightly confident, Ellie continues singing and looks up to sing directly to Dina wanting to show her how much she means to her.

_I've known a secret for a week or two_   
_Nobody knows_   
_Just we two_

_Listen _   
_Do you want to know a secret?_   
_Do you promise not to tell?_   
_Whoa_   
_Closer_   
_Let me whisper in your ear_   
_Say the words you long to hear_   
_I'm in love with you_

When she finishes, the confidence still flows through her body. She sets her guitar on the floor and before Dina can respond, Ellie’s brain forces all of her feelings into words that spill out of her mouth before she can stop them.

“Dina I’m sorry. I freaked out and I shouldn’t have. I didn’t want to admit to myself how I felt about you because I was scared to get hurt or lose you. And honestly, I know I will never be good enough for you and I’m just lucky that you even look my way. I don’t want to mess this up more than I already have because I couldn’t open up and show you how much you mean to me. I love you Dina and I want you all to myself and I’m sorry I’m a fucking idiot that sucks at talking. I can’t promise that I’ll get better at it but I do promise that I’m trying.” 

Ellie stands breathing heavily with everything out in the open. Emerald eyes search Dina’s face hoping to see some sign of hope.

Brown eyes are wide with shock at the unexpected monologue. Dina’s mouth hangs slightly open still processing everything.

The silence kills all of Ellie’s confidence. She feels totally exposed still standing in the middle of the living room. Her usual shyness takes over and she can feel her cheeks and ears begin to burn_. Maybe that was a little too much. _

“Do you mean that?” Dina’s voice is soft and filled with doubt.

The taller girl finally sits on the couch and takes soft hands in her calloused ones. Ellie watches her thumbs rub slowly over the top of Dina’s hands as she desperately tries to push through the shy feelings that consume her. The way Dina’s hands fit perfectly into hers calms her nerves enough to let emerald eyes look deep into brown ones. “More than anything.”

The smile that finally breaks through the stone-cold face of the smaller girl is so beautiful Ellie forgets to breathe. Relief hits her body like a tidal wave. Strong hands squeeze Dina’s softly. Ellie can’t help but smile back.

Finally, totally giving up on suppressing her feelings, Dina leaps across the couch and tackles Ellie in a big hug that knocks the taller girl on her back. Strong arms wrap tightly around the smaller girl pulling her closer. Dina situates her body on top of Ellie’s and buries her face into a warm, strong neck.

Ellie squeezes tighter never wanting to let go. The beautiful face pressed against her neck warms her body in the sweetest way. She can’t even contain the grin that pulls on her lips. To be holding Dina again was all she wanted. Actually, Dina was all that she wanted in every way.

Dina finally lifts her head from its resting place to look down at Ellie. Still wet, curly hair hangs down like a curtain around them. “You know you’re lucky you came when you did because I was about to head to your house and kick your ass. I had it all planned and everything.”

“Oh, really?” Ellie teases with a chuckle. Her strong hand brushes black hair behind the beautiful girl’s ear. “What were you gonna do?”

A devilish grin looms on Dina’s face as she begins to spill her plan. “Well, I was gonna come over there and smack you upside the head and tell you what an idiot you are.”

“Well, I beat you to it huh?”

The laugh that comes from the smaller girl is contagious. Ellie just marvels at how beautiful the girl above her is. Emerald eyes take in every gorgeous feature. She can’t help but grin stupidly up at Dina. Their eyes lock with pure contentment.

“I missed you,” Dina whispers softly.

The sudden enduring confession makes Ellie’s heart race. “I missed you too.” The kiss that presses softly on Ellie’s lips sends sparks throughout her whole body. It lingers as the smaller girl pulls away.

“Even though you’re a dumbass.”

“But you still missed me so who’s the real dumbass?” Ellie can’t help but laugh at the pure shock on Dina’s face at her clever comeback.

Dina leans down letting her lips hover just centimeters above Ellie’s. “You better watch it El, do you want to be back on my bad side?” Brown eyes burn brightly down at Ellie sending chills down her spine.

“No ma’am,” she whispers back frozen by the sudden closeness. The smaller girl barely presses her lips to Ellie’s driving her crazy with want.

“That’s what I thought.”

The warm breath against her lips makes Ellie lightheaded. It was scary how powerless Dina could make her with a simple kiss, but what was truly terrifying was how aware Dina was of her power. Still locked under the smaller girl’s spell, she barely comprehends what Dina asks her.

“Will you sing for me again?”

“Huh?”

“Will you sing that song for me again,” Dina whispers. “I wanna hear you sing again.” Her voice is innocent and soft with eyes that match.

“Uhm…. sure.” Nerves start building in the pit of her stomach. Ellie didn’t sing for people. Actually, Joel and Dina were the only two that had ever heard her. She still gets nervous every time.

“Yay!” Dina pecks Ellie’s cheek and jumps up letting the taller girl out from under her.

Ellie groans loudly as she gets up and grabs her guitar. “Only cause I wanna be on your good side.” She begins playing the song again and looks up to see Dina smiling widely up at her. Brown eyes watch her every move. Since this playthrough didn’t have their entire relationship riding on it like the last time, Ellie feels a lot less pressure. She put on a show for Dina, bouncing around and goofing off as she sings. When she finishes, Ellie bows to her one-woman audience. Dina giggles and claps for the show Ellie put on.

As Ellie sets her guitar down, soft arms wrap around her neck. “How are you so cute _and _talented?” Dina questions looking lovingly up into emerald eyes. 

The taller girl’s face burns red at the unexpected compliments. “I’m not,” she scoffs still not believing a girl like Dina would ever think about her that way.

“Oh yes, you are.”

Lips press tenderly against hers cutting Ellie off from arguing any more. Everything lights on fire. The taller girl deepens their kiss quickly unable to control the desire she feels. Strong hands grip a thin waist tight pulling Dina closer.

Soft fingers trace over strong shoulders and up into a sea of auburn hair only adding fuel to Ellie’s fire. Their kisses get more urgent until Dina pulls away suddenly, “Stay the night.”

Pure want is written across Dina’s face making Ellie’s knees weak. The fantasy of an uninterrupted, heated night with Dina sends sparks through every vein in her body. 

Ellie’s heart drops, “I can’t… I have a night watch in an hour.” Her freckled face drops in despair. _Why does this shit always happen to me? _“Actually, I need to go home and eat before I go,” she whines quietly.

“Aww no,” Dina pouts. “Hey, brilliant idea, you can eat dinner with me and then you can just leave from here.”

“Sounds like you wanna keep me around huh?” Ellie teases with a shit-eating grin.

Dina’s fingers play with the little baby hairs on the back of Ellie’s neck as she admires slightly rough but equally soft features. “I guess you're useful sometimes,” her voice like honey.

“I don’t know if I’m ready to die from your cooking though.”

Ellie doesn’t even try to dodge the forceful punch that crashes into her shoulder. It only makes her laugh louder.

“I’m gonna kill you before the food even gets a chance, asshole!”

The taller girl does dodge the next flying fist and quickly wraps around Dina lifting her into the air. She yelps at the sudden lift and giggles sweetly as Ellie spins them around.

Toned legs wrap around Ellie’s waist and she quickly moves her hands under Dina’s thighs to support her.

Brown eyes look seductively down at Ellie. “Hmm…I kinda like this,” Dina’s voice is laced with something that makes the girl holding her weak.

“Like what?” Ellie questions boldly, trying to match the smaller girl’s seductive undertones in her own voice.

Dina’s hands unlace from behind Ellie’s neck and slide down to feel biceps that are slightly visible through tight green flannel sleeves. The way she holds Dina only makes them flex more. Ellie was strong because she had to be with all of the manual work she did around the town. Not something she had really thought about, but she sure was glad for it now. Emerald eyes watch how the smaller girl feels her arms with lust growing in her dark brown eyes. It sky rockets her confidence watching Dina getting flustered.

“Maybe you can see them sometime.”

Ellie swears the smaller girl turns slightly red at her comment, but before she can confirm, lips crash into hers with a pure desire that almost makes her knees buckle. Dina climbs up her slender frame further as her kisses become more urgent. Small hands run up and down strong arms, touching every inch. The taller girl feels about two seconds from passing out. The lack of oxygen and the way Dina moans against her lips, making her head spin both equally contribute to the feeling. Ellie had never seen the smaller girl this worked up before and it was exhilarating. 

Suddenly breaking from her heated trance, Dina pulls away, seemingly to keep herself under control. “Woah,” her whisper barely audible.

“Woah,” Ellie pants back, desperately trying to catch her breath.

“You’re gonna drive me crazy Williams,” Dina giggles still a little out of breath.

The comment leaves Ellie in awe. Her brain still can’t comprehend that _anything_ about her would drive a girl like Dina crazy.

They stare happily at each other for a few seconds until toned legs unwrap from Ellie’s waist and strong arms lower Dina softly to the ground.

“Stop distracting me, I need to make dinner.”

“Sorry.” A sly grin pulls on Ellie’s lips showing she isn’t truly sorry for anything that just happened. 

The vegetable soup Dina makes is actually not bad but Ellie would never give her the satisfaction. They joke and talk as they eat their dinner just enjoying each other’s presence. Sadly, the time finally comes for Ellie’s shift and she sulks to the door. Sitting in the cold looking out into nothingness seems like torture when she knows she could be spending the night with Dina.

“Oh, don’t pout you, big baby. You’ll see me again soon.”

Ellie lets her bottom lip quiver matching it with puppy dog eyes.

“God your so annoying, what do you want?” the smaller girl laughs at the pout coming from the usual solemn-faced Ellie.

“What are you doing tomorrow night?”

“Hmm, I don’t know. If I get a good offer, I might consider it.”

Perking up significantly, Ellie spills her offer a little too eagerly. “Joel’s going on a two-day patrol, so you could spend the night. If you want.”

Dina’s eyes light up but quickly diminish into a very devilish look. “Hmm… I don’t know Williams. Are you gonna make me dinner first or are you just trying to get me in your bed?”

Red paints Ellie’s whole face. The unexpected quip embarrasses her almost as much as it lights her on fire. The thought that Dina could be in her bed tomorrow night sends her mind to a sinful place. Also, the sudden usage of her last name in seductive conversations sends a shiver down her spine in the best way.

Ellie’s short-circuiting brain responds on its own. “Uhhh…yes?”

_Jesus, I am an idiot. _

To her relief, Dina just laughs at her flustered response and kisses her softly. “I’ll be there at seven. Now go, you’re gonna be late.”

The goodbye kiss Dina leaves on her lips keeps Ellie warm all throughout the cold December night. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Thanksgiving guys! Thanks for reading, ya'll are the bomb. This is one of my favorite Beatles songs so I hope you enjoy the writing it inspired. 
> 
> https://youtu.be/uRQ7ecvU56k


	13. Don't Let Me Down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone. Here's a smut warning. Enjoy.

It was early afternoon before Ellie’s eyes flutter open to blinding sunlight beaming through her window. Last night’s shift had been long and tiring. Usually she’d count the deer to keep her mind occupied but only one had graced her view all night. This left her to analyze everything that could possibly happen or not happen the next night. Dina spending the night was a big deal for Ellie. She’d never had sex before. Kissing Riley, A few heavy make-out sessions with an ex, and the past weeks with Dina was all the action she’d seen in her nineteen years.

The other night before Joel had rudely interrupted, everything had happened so fast Ellie hadn’t had time to overthink. Caught up in the excitement of exploring every part of the beautiful girl, Ellie’s usual shyness and nervousness had taken the back seat, letting her lust take the reins.

Now that she had had all night to think about everything, she was terrified. _What if I am terrible? What if she hates it? I don’t know what I am doing. I mean we're both girls right, it can’t be that different._ Ellie shakes her head trying to quiet the voice inside. Rolling over in her bed, the clock on the wall reads fifteen after one. _Good, I still have time._

Joel had already left early in the morning so at least she wouldn’t have to deal with his teasing. Staring up at the ceiling, Ellie lays in her bed going over every possible situation that her mind can make up. Her blood starts to run hot getting lost in her own fantasies.

_Pull it together. Jesus, she’s not even here yet. _

Actually listening to the annoying voice in her head for once, the auburn-haired girl tries to calm the fire that lingers within. She makes herself get up and clean the mess that is her room. Clothes littered the floor and comic books had started to build a small mountain beside her bed. They were helpful when her mind wouldn’t let her sleep. Ellie spent a whole hour reorganizing her comic books back on the shelf in order by volumes. She had almost the whole series but she hadn’t found the third or fourteenth volumes anywhere. All the patrols, raids, and scouting Ellie had done, never found them. 

The clothes that had piled up on the floor weren’t as fun to clean up. Most were thrown in her closet to be washed but a few could still be worn another time or two. By the time Ellie had made her bed and finished cleaning her room, it is a little after four. Just enough time to shower, get ready, and begin making dinner.

Wet auburn hair clings to her neck as she looks for something to wear. Black jeans slip on easy and her hand instinctively reaches for a flannel but pulls back quickly. The memory of the way Dina had momentarily lost control at the sight of her covered but flexed arms runs through her mind. With a slightly evil grin, she pulls a black t-shirt from the drawer and slips it on.

Knowing Dina will probably show up early again, Ellie decides to start making their dinner. Deer meat from her last hunt sizzles loudly when it hits the pan. As the two steaks cook, she begins mashing a few potatoes up trying to mimic how she’d seen Joel do it a thousand times.

Flipping the steaks, Ellie hears a knocking on the front door_. Jesus, it’s only 6:25. _She drops the spatula and quickly moves to open the door.

Dina looks beautiful as ever. Light jeans tightly hug delicious curves. A soft pink sweater hangs perfectly on her small frame. Beautiful black hair is pulled back in the usual bun with a few wisps framing her gorgeous face.

“I’m pretty sure it’s not quite seven yet,” Ellie teases, trying not to stare.

“Well, I can just go back home.” Dina turns quickly pretending to leave.

“No!” A strong hand reaches out grabbing the smaller girl’s arm. “Don’t leave, I’m just kidding.” Ellie quickly kisses Dina and pulls her inside. “Dinner isn’t totally done yet though.”

“That’s okay, handsome.”

Dina’s sweet smile makes Ellie melt inside. _How did I get so lucky? _She guides the smaller girl to the kitchen and pulls a chair out for her to sit in.

“Such a gentleman,” Dina giggles still holding tightly to Ellie’s hand. The taller girl rolls her eyes as she turns to finish cooking but is forcefully jerked down. Her face inches from Dina’s. “I like that about you.”

The hot breath against her face sends sparks throughout Ellie’s lanky body. “Anything else you like?” she questions not wanting to break this moment. Her emerald eyes burn seductively into Dina’s.

A devilish smile creeps across beautiful lips. “Wouldn’t you like to know.” A soft hand lets go of a strong one and slides slowly up a tattooed forearm. Their heated stare continues as Dina’s hand travels over broad shoulders and latches on to the back of Ellie’s neck. She pulls the taller girl closer so their noses touch.

“I would like to know,” Ellie whispers, her voice shaky, given she had forgotten to breathe. Giving in to the temptation, she loses the staring competition and kisses the smaller girl passionately. The hunger inside quickly growing harder to ignore. Perfect teeth bite her lower lip and pull back gently. A low groan escapes from the back of Ellie’s throat.

“Hey, El?”

“Mmm, what?” Still overwhelmed with desire Ellie can’t keep from kissing the smaller girl again and again.

Soft hands finally push her shoulders back, breaking their string of kisses. “I think our dinners burning.”

“Shit!” Ellie leaps across the kitchen pulling the pan off the stove. “God damn it. I think they’re okay, just a little uhm toasty. Fuck, I’m sorry.”

The pitiful look on Ellie’s face makes Dina laugh aloud. “It’s okay, I’m sure I’ve eaten worse.”

“Well hopefully the mashed potatoes will be okay,” Ellie sighs as she scrapes the steaks onto plates.

“Damn, steak and potatoes? What’s the special occasion?”

“Just trying to impress a beautiful girl but it’s not going too well.” The taller girl turns to add the final touches to the potatoes hoping they will save the meal.

“Well, maybe you can impress me later.”

The blatant innuendo turns freckled cheeks dark red. She’s just relieved that her back is turned to the smaller girl so she can hide the panic that sets in. _How am I going to impress her? What if I mess up?_

Taking a deep breath, Ellie quiets her inner voice and scoops potatoes onto two plates. Sitting across from each other, the girls eat and talk about stupid stuff like patrols and clinic shifts. The closer they get to finishing the more nervous Ellie feels. The voice inside her head makes her doubt herself more and more. Lost in her thoughts, she doesn’t even know she’s zoned out until Dina calls her name repeatedly.

“You good?” The look on the beautiful girl’s face is laced with worry.

“Hmm? Oh yeah, I’m good. Do you want me to take your plate?” Ellie cleans their plates quickly and turns to see Dina already waiting by the door. An awkward silence falls over the kitchen. Ellie tries to think of something to say but the words feel glued to the back of her throat. Her mouth is dry as strong hands get clammy.

“Can we listen to music in your room?”

The soft look in Dina’s eyes calms her nerves slightly. _Just go with the flow. You’re overthinking everything idiot._ “Yeah, of course.” A dopey smile pulls on her lips as she grabs Dina’s hand and leads her up the stairs.

“Aww did you clean up for me?” Dina squeezes a calloused hand and leans up to peck a freckled cheek. 

Shyness suddenly overwhelms Ellie from the sudden sweet affection. “Maybe a little.”

“Put something on so we can dance hot stuff.”

“Dina, I can’t dance. I can barely slow dance.”

“Well, I’ll teach you. And don’t say you can’t learn because I know you have rhythm since you play guitar. Now play something.”

“Ughhhh, fine.” The taller girl sulks to her music collection and picks a Beatles album. The music begins and Dina grabs her hands pulling her close. Warmth immediately spreads through every atom in her being.

The first two songs are upbeat and Ellie awkwardly bounces along. Dina pulls her back and forth giggling as they move around the room. She just goes along with the smaller girl, laughing at their terrible dancing.

“I thought you were going to teach me, or are you having too much fun watching me suck.”

“Too much fun watching you suck,” Dina giggles up at the taller girl. “When the next one starts, I’ll teach you.”

Finally, the second song ends and the third one begins with a notably slower tempo. Too fast for a slow dance but nowhere near the racing beats of the first two songs.

_Don't let me down, don't let me down_ _  
Don't let me down, don't let me down  
  
Nobody ever loved me like she does  
Oh, she does, yes, she does  
And if somebody loved me like she do me  
Oh, she do me, yes, she does_

“Close your eyes and feel the rhythm. Then just match your body movement to it.” Dina’s silky voice matches the brown eyes that look lovingly up at Ellie. 

“Fine, I’ll try but don’t laugh.”

Dina pulls the taller girl close and gives her a reassuring kiss. Emerald eyes shut tight focusing on the slow rhythm of the guitars. She can feel the smaller girl pulling closer already swaying slightly. Soft hands slide into auburn hair pulling Ellie down until their foreheads press together. The smell of lavender and the heat between them is dizzying. Finally letting her nerves go, she begins to move her body to the rhythm, matching Dina’s movements. Slightly getting the hang of it, Ellie finally opens her eyes only to be met with dark ones staring back.

Something primal lies deep within the smaller girl’s eyes. Ellie feels weak as Dina steps forward causing full-body contact when they dance. Calloused hands finally move to grip a thin waist.

_I'm in love for the first time  
Don't you know it's gonna last  
It's a love that lasts forever  
It's a love that had no past _

Grinding into each other to the beat, everything feels on fire. Ellie’s heart thumps in her chest so loud she can barely hear the music anymore. Dina presses harder into the taller girl making her take one step back and then another. Dina backs her up until her calf bumps into the chair that she plays guitar in. Confused, she raises a scarred eyebrow. The look she gets in return almost makes her knees buckle.

“Sit on your hands.”

“What?” 

“Don’t make me ask again.” Dina’s voice is commanding as she unhooks her arms from behind Ellie’s neck.

A tingle ripples down the taller girl’s spine and she quickly sits with her hands under her thighs.

_And from the first time that she really done me  
Oh, she done me, she done me good  
I guess nobody ever really done me  
Oh, she done me, she done me good_

Dina moves closer to straddle the girl sitting in the chair. The weight that presses on Ellie’s lap almost makes her whimper. Soft lips lean down to whisper in the taller girl’s ear, “No touching until I say so. Understand?”

Unable to get her mouth to move, Ellie just nods slowly, now knowing why she is awkwardly sitting on her hands. Soft fingers reclaim their place in auburn hair as Dina begins grinding to the slow rhythm of the song again. The friction against her jeans builds an uncontrollable excitement within. Ellie’s breathing becomes rapid trying to keep enough air flowing through her body so she doesn’t pass out. At this point, there doesn’t seem like enough air in the world.

_Don't let me down, don't let me down_

Emerald eyes look up to see Dina pulling out her hair tie letting black curly hair cascade perfectly over her shoulders. Her pupils dilate as the sheer beauty of the girl on top of her. Still taking in the view, unexpectedly, soft lips crash into hers with uncontrollable desire. When a hot tongue slides across her bottom lip, Ellie moans louder than she means to. The smaller girl smiles against her lips at the sound. Their kissing quickly becomes more desperate and urgent.

Soft hands untangle from auburn hair to feel the girl beneath her.They move over broad shoulders and down strong arms. They stop at exposed biceps and grip tightly.

“Did you wear a t-shirt on purpose?” Dina grins against Ellie’s lips.

Emerald eyes look up seductively, “Maybe.” A crooked smile pulls on her lips when she purposefully flexes her arms against the hands that grip them. A slight pink dust Dina’s cheeks at the gesture. Ellie can’t help but chuckle at the flustered girl on her lap. It was exciting to finally not be the only one that couldn’t control their emotions. She flashes a shit-eating grin up at Dina feeling like she’s won an unspoken battle.

As quickly as Ellie has a slight advantage, it’s ripped away. A searing kiss is pressed against Ellie’s lips before small hands grab the hem of her sweater and pulls it up and over her head to be thrown across the room.

Emerald eyes widen with pure shock. _Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. _Electricity runs from her head to her toes as she takes in the view. A lean stomach that leads up to breasts that are slightly pushed up from the black bra that holds them. Defined collarbones sit below perfectly framed shoulders. Ellie can’t keep her jaw from dropping.

Dina smirks watching Ellie’s eyes roam all over her body. She begins grinding slowly again and leans down to kiss the awe-stricken girl. Her delicate hands slide under the taller girl’s shirt feeling tight abs restrict under her touch.

Ellie’s breath hitches when warm hands slide under her shirt. They move up and over her sports bra, feeling every inch of warm and scarred skin. Moaning from the hands roaming her chest and the friction against her lap, she can’t keep from squirming in the chair. Strong hands slide from under her thighs desperately wanting to touch and feel. Instead, they grip the chair tightly remembering the command Dina had given her earlier. Quickly unraveling, Ellie isn’t sure how much longer she can keep her hands to herself.

“Please,” she begs against Dina’s lips.

“Please what?” The evil grin shows Dina knows exactly what she wants but is enjoying making her beg for it too much.

“Please,” is all Ellie can muster from her short-circuiting brain.

Cutting the taller girl a break, soft hands slide out from under her shirt and tap the strong ones that tightly grip the sides of the chair.

The sudden permission sends Ellie’s hands flying up to grip a thin waist. They move shakily feeling all the bare, warm skin available. Gripping perfect breasts and feeling up the smaller girl’s back only to scratch roughly down coaxing out the sweetest moans.

“Take me to the bed,” Dina pants trying not to break their kisses for too long.

Ellie’s stomach drops and she pulls her lips away quickly. Confusion looms in the brown eyes that stare intensely down at her.

“Dina, I… I’ve never done this before and… I don’t want to mess up. I want it to be good for you.” Ellie hangs her head in defeat, scared her confession will make Dina rethink continuing. A gentle hand quickly guides her chin up. The previously lust-filled, dark eyes are sweet and caring. The smile that occupies her lips calms Ellie’s nerves.

“Ellie, I want this with you. Everything that happens will be perfect because it’s with you.”

“Really?”

“Yes really. I love you, Ellie.”

The enduring comfort from Dina almost makes her heart explode. Every worry melts from her body as a toothy smile plasters her face. “I love you too.” Strong hands cup Dina’s face pulling her into a sweet kiss.

“And besides, everything that’s happened so far has been pretty fucking good.”

“Oh yeah?” Ellie smirks feeling the heat inside flaring up again. Emerald eyes burn dark with want.

“Mmm, yeah,” Dina whispers seductively letting her lips barely brush Ellie’s.

Tired of overthinking, Ellie stands carrying the smaller girl to her bed. She lays Dina down gently as to not break their heated string of kisses. Ellie positions herself on top of the smaller girl quickly feeling the heat between them growing. Eager hands move to pull on her shirt hem, silently asking permission.

Ellie leans back and hurriedly discards her t-shirt. She tries to immediately dive back in but Dina’s arms catch her shoulders keeping her a good distance away. Dark brown eyes roam every inch of the taller girl’s newly exposed upper half. The sudden attention makes Ellie self-conscious of the hundreds of scars that litter her body.

“Fuck, El,” Dina whispers. Brown eyes growing hungrier the more they roam. “I knew you were hot but damn.”

Red paints Ellie’s face, flustered by the comments, only making the girl under her giggle. “Shut up,” she groans with a slight grin. Ellie quickly dives back down, lips aching to kiss the beautiful girl again. They hurriedly get back into the heated movements of before, hands exploring soft, warm skin. Ellie’s thigh forcefully moves between Dina’s legs, the contact coaxing out soft moans.

Before long, both girl’s bras are thrown across the room. Both of them desperately wanting to get rid of the boundaries they held. Ellie wastes no time trailing kisses down to hardened peaks. Each swipe of her tongue and kiss left on perfect breasts results in a hushed whimper. The sounds are intoxicating, only making Ellie want her more and more.

Dina’s hands suggestively nudge strong shoulders down letting Ellie know her mouth is wanted somewhere else. Slowly she works her lips down feeling the smaller girl arch into her kisses the lower she goes. She fumbles unbuttoning Dina’s jeans but quickly rips them and her underwear off in one hard pull. Her lips crash back down to where they left off, moving to shapely hips then back to center.

“Ellie, please,” Dina begs as she puts her legs over sturdy shoulders and moves hands into a sea of auburn hair.

The taller girl desperately tries to keep from spontaneously combusting. As much as she wants to, she can’t make it that easy, especially after the teasing Dina had put her through in the chair. Despite the protesting groans, Ellie moves down to trail slow, lingering kisses up a soft, but toned inner thigh. Getting close to the wet heat between Dina’s legs, she quickly moves to do the same pattern up the other thigh.

“Please Ellie, I need…” the smaller girl’s hips buck when Ellie nips her inner thigh with a tender bite.

“Mmm, need what?” No wonder she enjoys this so much. Having this much power over Dina and hearing her beg is exhilarating.

“I need you to taste me, please,” her voice a vulnerable whisper.

Dina’s words render Ellie almost completely defenseless. Totally giving up on the teasing, solid arms pull the beautiful girl close and she doesn’t resist when the hands in her hair urgently pull her even closer. Slowly, she drags her tongue up soaked folds marveling at how wet the smaller girl is. Getting drunk off the taste and of moans that echo through the room, Ellie quickly finds out what movements of her tongue make Dina’s hips buck and which make her whimper. After a few minutes of progressive learning, the legs wrapped around her head begin to tighten and hands begin to grip fists full of auburn hair roughly.

“Oh, fuck Ellie, please don’t stop.”

The needing in Dina’s voice makes Ellie groan. Trying to hang on to the now rapidly bucking smaller girl, strong hands finally lock thin hips down against the bed letting her tongue hit the place Dina needs it the most. Fingernails dig into Ellie’s scalp but the moans and whimpers that ring in her ear make it more than worth it. Toned thighs flex, threatening to crush her head but eventually relax as Dina comes down from the high. The taller girl kisses her way back up the slim body, now covered with a slight film of sweat. The blush that covers Dina’s chest and face sends shock waves through Ellie. _She’s so beautiful._

Still slightly panting, soft hands bring their lips together passionately. “Are you sure that’s the first time you’ve done that?” a breathy voice teases.

Confidence and relief swell inside. “I’m a fast learner,” a devious grin accompanies Ellie’s mischievous voice.

Soft brown eyes turn suspiciously dark as they stare up. Before she knows it, Ellie is on her back with the smaller girl showing greatly wanted attention to her neck. Her eyes shut tight as hands feel down her toned body to unbutton her pants. Jeans and boxers are quickly kicked off and thankfully, Dina is too wired to waste time teasing the taller girl. Quickly straddling one of Ellie’s legs, Dina leans back down to kiss her slightly sore lips. Delicate fingertips slide down to dip into the wetness that’s built between her legs. Ellie’s breath hitches and strong arms cling to the girl above.

“Fuck, your so wet, El,” Dina groans against heated lips.

Every touch sends sparks throughout Ellie’s body, making her hips buck into them. Her nails dig into the smaller girl’s shoulder blades from the slow drawn out circles on her clit. Her moans and whimpers grow louder the longer she’s touched. Dina grinds against her thigh to the slow rhythm of her fingers. Feeling the wet heat building on her thigh from the girl above unravels Ellie. She flexes it causing a husky moan to escape the smaller girl’s lips. Knowing that she was the sole reason for Dina’s renewed excitement builds the intense pleasure threatening to explode within Ellie. Faster and harder circles push her over the edge and her body goes rigid against the bed. Strong arms pull the small girl closer wanting to melt into her. 

The last ripples of ecstasy flow throughout her veins as she pants quietly into the silent room. A smile creeps on her lips at the feeling of Dina still slightly grinding into her, her thigh getting wetter with each pass. She kisses Dina passionately still reeling from the high. Quickly flipping the wired girl under her, Ellie’s hands begin skimming down a thin body.

“Ellie, you don’t have to…” Dina’s breath hitches when fingers brush her aching bud.

The taller girl leans down to whisper teasingly, “Do you want me to stop?”

“No, please don’t stop.”

Ellie slides a finger slowly into wet heat. Dina grips her tightly, sucking in air through pursed lips. Emerald eyes track every change of the beautiful face below her as she begins moving her digit in and out. Her heart slams against her chest getting totally and hopelessly lost in the way Dina feels and looks under her touch. The moan that repeats in her ear as she adds another finger is addicting. Soft hands pull her in close. Sweat glistens on both girls from the heat radiating between them.

“Harder,” Dina pleads as her hands run through auburn hair.

Obeying, Ellie hardens her motion pushing into Dina deeper and faster. Her lips kiss a sweat slicken neck passionately not wanting to muffle the sweet sounds that fill the room. Feeling thighs begin to flex like before, eager fingers curl slightly forward pushing Dina over the edge. Delicate hands grip the sheets of the bed and auburn hair tightly as pleasure ripples throughout her body. Dina’s bucking hips eventually come to rest. Ellie can’t help but stare, emerald eyes glazed over in admiration. Everything about Dina is beautiful.

“Damn El, you’ve got some stamina,” Dina teases still panting slightly.

So lost in her feelings for Dina, Ellie doesn’t even respond. Her eyes roam over the expanse of bare skin pressed against her. Fingers trace delicately beautiful features. They skim up a soft jawline to push tousled black hair behind her ear. Calloused fingers stroke the bridge of Dina’s nose until glazed emerald eyes focus on the brown ones staring back.

“I’m so in love with you.”

Ellie’s eyes widen, slightly shocked by her own words. They had just fallen out of her mouth without hesitation. A minor twinge of fear ripples in her belly. _Am I getting too close? I shouldn’t be this vulnerable. _As quickly as the thoughts occur, Ellie pushes them back down. A stupid grin plasters her face as she leans down to kiss Dina sweetly. No one, not even herself, is going to ruin this moment.

They lay there for hours giggling, talking, or in silence just taking in each other’s presence. Exhausted from their eventful night, Ellie wraps around a thin waist and pulls her close. Lacing her rough fingers in soft ones, she rests her face against the back of the smaller girl’s neck and sighs contently. Dina was all she had ever wanted and all she would ever need. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! This is my favorite Beatles song of all time so I wanted to make sure it worked well in the story and was done justice lol. Anyway, thanks for reading! Here's the link to the song of a lifetime. 
> 
> https://youtu.be/xk7f6i0CNfs


	14. Good Day Sunshine

Waking up next to Dina seems like a dream come true. Ellie closes her eyes tight and lets them snap back open expecting to be alone in her bed, but somehow, the most beautiful human she’s ever seen is still laying in front of her sleeping soundly. Black hair rests haphazardly contrasting the stark white pillow beneath it. Golden light sprays from the window lighting up the flawless features of Dina’s face. Ellie can’t keep her hand from moving on its own to reach out and trace them delicately. She truly didn’t mean to wake Dina up but the way sleepy brown eyes smile at her when they open makes Ellie secretly glad she did.

“Good day sunshine, did I wake you?”

Dina pulls the covers tight under her chin and lets her eyes close again. She wiggles closer and snuggles her face into a strong neck. “Yes, but that’s okay.”

“I’m sorry, I can go if you want to sleep more.” Regretting the suggestion as soon as she makes it, Ellie would rather die than leave. Thankfully, a soft hand slides around her waist and pulls her closer. The sudden body contact makes it painfully obvious that neither one of them had felt the need to put clothes back on last night. Feeling her heart rate already picking up speed, Ellie quickly focuses on the outlines she begins tracing on the smaller girl’s back. Any shape, word, picture she can think of to keep her mind occupied. Warm, muffled words against her collarbone force her out of intense concentration.

“Pretty crazy night huh?” Dina mumbles quietly.

Automatic anxiety fills Ellie’s lanky body. “Crazy good or crazy bad?” The obvious nervousness in her voice makes Dina pull back and look up at her with bewilderment.

“Are you serious?”

“Umm…. Well…. uhm…. maybe?” Ellie can feel her cheeks heating up. _Why can’t I speak like a normal human?_

“Ellie, years of imagining had nothing on that.”

Emerald and brown eyes both widen at the statement that lingers in the air. _Years? Oh, my fucking god, years?!_ Her mind races with the notion. “Years?” Ellie can’t keep the question from spilling off her lips.

A highly rare red dusts across Dina’s cheeks. She buries her face into Ellie’s strong neck trying to hide from the shocked emerald eyes staring into her.

Ellie feels like a nuclear bomb has decimated her mind. _There’s no way. I have to know more. _Strong hands push a still obviously crimson face upward. The slightly embarrassed look on Dina’s face catches he taller girl off guard. The usual overly confident girl looks like a totally different person.

“You’re kidding right?” Ellie laughs still not believing that Dina had thought of her in that way for more than the past few weeks.

“I’m not actually,” Dina’s voice a hushed whisper. 

“Oh my god, since when, where, how?” Ellie can’t stop the questions from flowing.

Brown eyes dart away shyly. “Remember your seventeenth birthday?”

She does. It had always been one of her favorite memories with Dina. The way they had drunk and danced and fell. They had almost kissed before Dina quickly pulled away. But Ellie had written it off as a hopeless dream that would never come true. She believed all the feelings were only strictly felt from her side so she never pressed about what had almost happened.

“Yes?”

“After you fell asleep, I couldn’t get what could have happened out of my head. I wanted you. Bad.” A deeper crimson flushes Dina’s face as she continues still refusing to look up. “I thought maybe I was just drunk, but the next morning I wanted you more than the night before. I pushed it all away because you were, _are_, my best friend and I didn’t want to ruin that. That’s about when I started seeing Jesse to I guess subconsciously distract myself. I really did care for him but…” Her voice trails off lost in thought.

“But?”

“He wasn’t you. That’s probably why we had so many problems. He is a great guy and I feel bad for stringing him along. All of my feelings kept building up but I shoved them back down. Until you sang that stupid song and I couldn’t do it anymore. I tried one last-ditch effort with Jesse to stop myself from acting on my feelings but it just made it worse for both of us. Then I just said fuck it and well here we are. So yes, last night was something I have wanted for a very long time.” Dina’s last few sentences are hurried and jumbled. Brown eyes finally look up to see a deer caught in headlights.

Ellie’s brain can’t even begin to process the words that just filled the empty room. The nervous look on Dina’s face makes her pull herself together quickly wanting to respond in some way. But how? Words are glued to the back of her throat from the complete surprise she feels. Finally, her mouth moves on its own. “So, we could have been banging two years ago?” A stupid smile pulls on her lips when she sees the half-amused, half annoyed look on Dina’s face. 

“Oh my god, your such a lame-ass.” The usual confidently girl is back, groaning as she playful pushes Ellie’s face away from her. 

“It’s okay, I have a lot of people secretly pining away for me so that’s probably why I didn’t notice.” Ellie teases with a hand still smushing her face.

“If you keep it up your going to have one less!” the smaller girl pretends to be annoyed and pushes Ellie almost off the bed.

Ellie can’t help the feeling of pure delight knowing that Dina had wanted her all along, even if she had totally been oblivious to it. Strong hands get into a shoving match with soft ones causing giggles to fill the cold, empty room. It doesn’t end until Ellie tumbles into the floor in a mess of sheets with a loud thump. “Ow, fuck.”

“Oh shit, are you ok... Ellie DON’T!”

Ellie takes Dina’s moment of concern and pulls her off the bed with the rest of the covers. Her laugh echoes at the daggers Dina shoots her.

“If you weren’t so cute, I’d kill you, Williams.”

The kiss that follows Dina’s complement slash threat sends Ellie spiraling. It pulls all the memories from the night before rapidly to the front of her mind. She wastes no time pinning the smaller girl beneath her. The skin on skin contact lights the blood in her veins on fire. Dina melts under her touch, turning into a mess of hot moans and muffled sighs. Reeling from the excitement Ellie barely notices when Dina flips her over, pinning strong wrists to the floor.

“Your turn.”

“Huh?”

“I told you a secret now you have to tell me one. What is your deepest, darkest secret Williams?”

Everything inside Ellie goes cold except the scar hidden under her tattoo. It burns, threatening to catch fire. Yes, her and Joel had burnt the scar with acid hoping to help conceal her secret, but if you felt hard enough and knew what to look for it was still there. Many times, she had wanted to tell Dina but it was too risky. It hurt to hide this part of herself but it would hurt more if people she cared about turned away. Dark brown eyes search hers intensely trying to find something. _I have to come up with something. I can’t tell her. _

“Any day now,” Dina pries as she grips Ellie’s wrists tighter.

“Ummm…. I don’t think I have…” The look Dina gives her stops her pathetic attempt. _Say something idiot! Anything before you mess everything up again! _Ellie panics trying to come up with anything to get Dina’s all-knowing eyes off her. “Uhhh… I actually like Titanic.” Ellie holds her breath hoping this with suffice as an answer. Dina searches her freckled face intensely for any signs of deception.

A big grin pulls on soft lips. “I fucking knew it! The big brooding Ellie Williams likes a love story! Aww, that’s so cute.”

A tidal wave of relief threatens to drown Ellie. Although something inside still worries about the thought of Dina finding out, she pushes it to the darkest corner of her mind. “Oh, shut up,” she giggles pushing away the smaller girl that is now obnoxiously making kissing noises at her.

The teasing continues until Ellie flips the smaller girl under her and drives a forceful thigh between her legs. This always makes the words in Dina’s throat catch, this time is no exception. The blush from the unexpected contact covers a beautiful face and drives Ellie wild. Strong hands fly over soft skin, feeling roughly. Teeth bite tenderly down the smaller girl’s neck, drawing out loud moans. Nails dig into shapely hips and scratch up toned thighs. Ellie feels less and less in control as she ravages Dina against the floor.

“Fuck Ellie, where is all this coming from?” Dina gasps aloud, getting lost in the lustfully aggressive actions of the girl on top of her.

Devilish green eyes match the evil grin spreading across a freckled face. “I’m just trying to make up for the past two years.”

“Hey, you wanna do something fun tonight?” Dina asks as she readjusts on Ellie’s lap to look lovingly up at her. The recliner definitely wasn’t big enough for the two of them but they made it work while they watched a movie. A certain movie Ellie had confessed to enjoying earlier that morning. Both having a day off, they spent most of it being lazy and sharing a few more heated moments than they’d like to admit.

“Who’s asking?” 

“Me, asshole.” Dina playfully punches a strong shoulder.

A devilish thought runs through Ellie’s mind. “I’m not sure, I kind of had plans later.” Brown eyes widen giving her the response she wants.

“With who? Joel won’t be back till tomorrow.” A hint of defensiveness laces the smaller girl’s words.

_Got her._ Ellie keeps her face as calm as possible as she delivers the killer blow. “That new girl Emily and I had watch the other night together and she invited me over for dinner.” She watches the fire ignite behind brown eyes. It takes everything to keep from laughing at Dina’s poor attempt to hide her jealousy. It felt good to rile her up since Dina made it her sole mission to get Ellie flustered at any chance possible.

“Is that a problem?” Ellie challenges confidently.

“I… no it’s not. But if she makes a move on you so help me God.”

“Oh, I didn’t know we were exclusive?” Ellie knows she’s walking on thin ice but the way Dina’s face reddens makes it worth it.

“Don’t push it, Williams,” she hisses staring daggers back at the taller girl.

“Push what?” She makes her voice annoyingly innocent with emerald eyes that match.

“You’re mine Ellie, I’m not sharing.” The deep growl in Dina’s voice sends a shiver down the taller girl’s spine. Wrapped up in jealousy, words quickly spill without thought. “So, you let her know that if she lays a finger on you, your girlfriend will gladly come and break it off.” 

_Bingo._ “Oh, girlfriend is it?” Unable to continue her charade, a sly smile pulls on her lips.

Dark brown eyes enlarge finally catching on. “Ellie you fucking asshole, she didn’t even ask you did she!”

The laugh that had been forced away comes booming out into the quiet air. The annoyed fury in Dina’s eyes only makes it that much funnier. “We barely talked the whole night. You should have seen your face though, it was priceless.” Pride flows through her veins at the fact that she finally, truly got Dina worked up.

“You’re such a dick,” Dina mumbles with pure annoyance.

Strong arms wrap around the small girl squeezing her tight. “Oh, don’t pout. I’m just fucking with you.” Ellie peppers kisses on a still firmly clenched jaw loosening it slightly. “And besides, you’re the only idiot who would even think of being my girlfriend anyway.”

Hard brown eyes melt along with the annoyance shown in Dina’s face. “I do want to be your girlfriend though.”

Ellie chuckles still not comprehending the words she’d only dreamed of hearing. “Are you sure, it’s not too late to back out.” Her joking stops abruptly when she sees the serious look in the smaller girl’s eyes. _Holy shit she’s not kidding._

“I’m sure. If that’s what you want too.”

Ellie’s heart feels like it could explode at any moment. Dina would actually be _her_ girlfriend. It still didn’t seem real.

“More than anything.” A toothy grin stretches across her freckled face, too happy to even care about how cheesy her answer had been. She kisses soft lips still smiling uncontrollably. Ellie pulls her girlfriend closer wanting to stay in this moment forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Felt like writing a mostly fluff chapter because I don't want to think about all the terrible things that will probably happen in the game. Thanks for reading! And of course the inspiration song for this chapter is pure fluff as well lol. 
> 
> https://youtu.be/6e01nNA02vw


	15. Help!

Weeks pass and Ellie can’t remember a time she’d been happier. She spent all most all of her free time with Dina. It was honestly a little scary how easily her mind would get distracted when they were apart. Deeper and deeper she fell in love and it was as exciting as it was terrifying.

A particularly cold morning in late January, Dina and Ellie are scheduled to patrol a supermarket a few miles west of Jackson. Snow crunches under the horse’s hooves as they ride. Dina was in an extremely teasing mood and had been riling Ellie up the whole way there.

“How do you wanna die?”

The sudden unusual question catches Ellie off guard. “What?”

“How do you want to die?”

Ellie laughs until she sees the serious look Dina shoots her. She thinks hard for a minute, dying was something she thought a lot about but not in the way Dina is asking. Death was always looming over every action she took. Every decision she made. But Ellie never actually thought about how she would _like_ to die. “I think we should go out like Eugene.” 

“From a stroke?” Dina replies with confusion riddling her voice.

“No, from old age. Like living a long life.” A fantasy of her and Dina living a long and happy life together runs through her mind. Growing old and still being in love. Even though it was a dream it made her heart flutter.

Dina’s scoff pulls her back to reality. “You? No way. C’mon. You’re way too reckless.” 

Slightly offended, Ellie retaliates. “Look who’s talking!”

“You’ll probably die from hypothermia from wearing canvas sneakers in the snow,” Dina jokes.

“I am wearing BOOTS today!” Ellie tries to keep from getting riled up again and fires a remark back. “You know how you’re gonna die?”

“Ooo let me guess. You’re going to kill me,” Dina replies with an overly condescending tone.

_God Damn it. _Minor annoyance runs through the taller girl as she stays quiet.

A triumphant laugh fills the air left silent by Ellie’s non-reply. “Did I ruin your punch line?”

The arrogance in Dina’s voice only gets Ellie more worked up. “No! Maybe…. fuck you.” The defeat in her voice only makes the small girl laugh more.

When they arrive, they leave Melvin and Rose to wait outside. The supermarket hadn’t been patrolled in a few months due to the weather. The way it sat low in the valley made it hard to reach with more than a foot of snow.

Ellie wasn’t really familiar with the area so her guard is up. They push into the building quietly and search the room. Picking up a few cans of expired peaches, Ellie walks to where Dina is moving a cart from in front of a door.

The smaller girl looks through the glass in the door before opening it. “I see spores in there. Masks on”

A ripple of guilt runs through the auburn-haired girl as she pulls out her mask. Even though she didn’t need it she slips it over her head. “Got it.” Moving forward to open the door, a gloved hand catches her shoulder.

“Remember, I don’t want to have to shoot you in the face.”

Emerald eyes roll at the statement. “Aww. That’s so sweet,” sarcasm burns in Ellie’s statement.

They begin searching for any signs of danger. Spores litter the room making the deadly gas so thick it’s like walking through the morning fog.

“All these spores mean they’ve been here for a while. Keep your eyes peeled for older infected.”

“Yup.”

Ellie forgets that Dina is just as capable as her. She’d been on just as many patrols and knew as much about infected as anyone. The taller girl feels stupid for pointing out the obvious. Thankfully, Dina is too worried about searching to push the subject.

“Is this part of the supermarket?” Dina questions.

It truthfully didn’t look like any supermarket Ellie had been in. “I don’t know. I think we’re above it?”

“Let’s get to the ground floor,” the smaller girl suggests. 

They squeeze through a gap in the wall to the next room to find it empty as well. Another gap is the only way to continue so Ellie quickly slides through. As soon as her foot hits the floor, the sound of tiles cracking echoes through the air. “Shit.” Before she can move back, a chuck of the floor beneath her gives away.

“Ellie!” Dina reaches forward to grip her arm but it’s too late. The whole floor beneath them falls away.

Ellie tries to cling on to the part of the floor still attaches but that breaks too causing her and Dina to hit the ground with a hard thud. Part of the collapsed floor traps Ellie against the ground making it hard for her to breathe. Using all of her strength Ellie pushes trying to lift the concrete threatening to crush her.

Dina slowly pulls herself off the floor. Seeing Ellie trapped, she crawls over quickly to help lift. Clicking sounds soon rattle in their ears.

Before Ellie can get free, Dina whips around, pistol focused on the clicker looming closer and closer. They both hold their breath watching the creature listening for them. Ellie admires the way Dina stays between them, protecting her. The silver gun floats in the air keeping perfect precision with the swaying clicker. A loud screech rings through the air followed by two loud gunshots, both perfect headshots. The clicker cripples to the ground.

_Damn, that was hot. _The weight crushing Ellie’s chest suddenly pulls her distracted mind back to the deadly situation they are in. Together they slide the slab of concrete off. Dina hurriedly pulls her behind a grocery rack. A pain shoots through her ribs as they hunch down. _Fucking ribs._

“Shh,” Dina whispers, hearing clickers run into the room drawn by the sound of her gun.

“Fucking clickers,” Ellie winces.

The clicking that fills the air sends shivers down Ellie’s spine. It was a sound that haunted her nightmares. Backing slowly from behind their cover, the auburn-haired girl stalks an unsuspecting clicker. Its rapid jerking body movement makes it hard for her to get a good angle. Finally, she gets her chance and plunges her pocketknife into its head. The knife twists in her hand and she roughly rips it out dropping the dead clicker to the floor. _One down one to go._

Grabbing an empty bottle from the floor, she chucks it across the room. The glass shattering draws the attention of the creature long enough for Ellie to pull her rifle out. The first shot blasts through its head sending pieces of skull flying. The second shot deals the death blow. Watching the clicker fall to the ground lifeless sends waves of relief through her mind. 

“Those blind motherfuckers make my skin crawl.”

“Let’s make sure the rest of the building is cleared out. And then get the fuck out of here.” Dina’s voice is stern and laced with worry. Their fall and almost death by clicker have rattled her.

That was something Ellie had noticed. Every patrol since they began dating, she would catch Dina being overly cautious over her. Checking on Ellie, watching over her shoulder, and pushing the taller girl aside to take infected one on one. Any close calls they had would send the small girl into protective mode.

“Speaking my language,” Ellie agrees.

As they continue to search, the deadly fumes get thicker making it almost impossible to see a few feet in front of them even with their flashlights. Clicking can be heard in front of them stopping the girls in their tracks.

“This isn’t safe, we should head back out,” Dina warns grabbing Ellie’s hand. “We can come back with more people.”

“Okay.” Ellie turns to leave but as she does her hip catches an unseen shelf, knocking glass bottles to the ground. “Fuck.” 

Screeches fill the air as the clickers sprint towards the sound. Dina forcefully grabs her hand and starts dragging her to find an exit. The gas is so dense makes running without falling seem impossible. They tumble to the ground multiple times, falling over unseen obstacles. The clickers are gaining on them and fast. Finally finding the stairs, they sprint up them two at a time as the monsters crash into the stairway behind them. They finally smash through the door they came in and shove it closed behind them. They push with all their might to keep it closed as the clickers slam against the opposite side.

“Hold it closed!” Dina yells and jumps to push an old vending machine over in front of the door.

Focusing on keeping the door from opening, Ellie barely jumps out of the way of being crushed in time as their blockade falls over with a huge crash. One of the sharp rusted edges of the machine catches her forearm ripping the sleeves and skin there open. “Jesus, fuck!” The taller girl kneels down clutching her arm. 

Dina scans to make sure the blockade is holding well enough before she falls on her knees to check on Ellie. She reaches out to take her arm but the taller girl hisses back and pulls it closer to her body. “Let me see it!” she shouts ripping off her mask, wanting to assess the damage. “I’m just trying to help!”

_Fuck that burns._ Ellie watches the steady stream of blood fall from her arm, turning the white snow beneath her red. She lifts her hand from gripping the wound only for the cold air to light it on fire. She extends her arm towards the smaller girl who gently takes it and begins examining the damage.

“It’s going to need stitches. But it’s not as deep as it lo….” Dina’s voice gets caught in her throat as she finally looks up at Ellie. Brown eyes widen in horror. Pure terror twists her beautiful features. 

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Ellie demands, scared by the way Dina is looking at her. She watches tears build in Dina’s eyes. Trembling fingers reach up to trace the top corner of the auburn-haired girl’s mask. Emerald eyes lock onto what the fingers are tracing. Everything inside her goes cold. Knots twist her stomach so tight she feels nauseous. A huge crack splinters the glass in her mask. The fall was probably to blame. Everything had happened so fast they hadn’t even noticed it. When she looks back at Dina, tears are streaming down her face.

“Ellie,” the smaller girl finally chokes out. She crashes into Ellie, sobbing into her chest. Small hands grip her tightly. “I can’t do this.”

Dina’s sobs break her heart. Ellie slowly removes her mask and holds the small girl close. _This is not how I wanted to tell her. _

“What are we going to do?” Dina’s voice becomes panicked and desperate as she pulls back to look at Ellie. “I can’t do this without you. I just can’t.” Soft hands cup freckled cheeks tenderly. “I need you, Ellie.” Dina pulls her close again letting their foreheads press together. “I need you.” The words catch in her throat as she begins to cry again.

Ellie’s heart breaks into a thousand pieces. Tears begin to build in her own eyes. _Why didn’t I tell her before? _“Dina, it’s okay.”

Anger and confusion build in the small girl. “It’s not fucking okay Ellie! How could you say that?!” Tears still streaming like rivers from brown eyes.

“I’m immune.”

“What?”

“I’m immune.”

Pure rage and hopelessness take over Dina. “This isn’t a fucking joke!”

“I’m not joking!” Ellie shouts back. Even though her arm is throbbing, she uses it to pull back the sleeve on her other arm exposing the one thing she had desperately tried to hide her whole time in Jackson. “Feel it.” The confused angry look she gets in return only makes her heart hurt more_. She’s going to look at me like I am a freak. I am a freak. _“Just feel it,” she sighs.

When Dina still doesn’t move, a bloody, trembling hand reaches out and grabs a soft one forcing it to trace the scar that still lingers on her skin. Watery brown eyes widen as her fingers feel the scar shaped in a perfect bite mark under the other scars and ink it tries to hide under.

“That’s from five years ago.” Ellie lets go of Dina’s hand and drops her head to stare into the dark red snow.

“I don’t understand.” Dina’s fingers trace the bite over and over seeming to not believe what they are feeling.

“Remember when I told you about Riley?”

Ellie could see the gears turning in Dina’s mind. It had been over a year since Dina had persistently asked about the dog tag that Ellie constantly wore, late one night. Talking about what had happened with Dina had been one of the hardest things she had ever done. The smaller girl had held her close and listened to every detail letting Ellie actually talk about something she almost never dared to even think about. The feelings of loss and suffering had come hurtling back. Those feelings are what had kept her from telling the full story to Dina that day. Now she wished they hadn’t.

“She wasn’t the only one that got bit.” Ellie can’t look anywhere but the ground, too scared to even get a glimpse of what Dina is thinking. “That’s why Joel and I were traveling together to find the fireflies, they thought I was going to be a cure or something.” Pure guilt flows through her bloodstream, not only from keeping her secret from Dina, but not demanding Joel take her back to the fireflies after she learned what he had done. It had taken years to forgive him and herself but now that wound seemed to rip back open, hurting just as much as the real one on her arm.

Deafening silence fills the cold air. Emerald eyes burn into the ground waiting for any sign from Dina. Even the thuds of clickers slamming into the door desperately trying to get out have faded away. Only the sound of her heart drumming away can be heard in Ellie’s ears.

“How could you not tell me?” Dina’s voice is barely above a whisper. Pure hurt laces in her question.

Tears still threaten to spill from emerald eyes. Self-hatred and pain ebb inside the taller girl. “I was scared. Scared to put you at risk. Scared you’d want nothing to do with me.” Ellie’s voice cracks slightly as she tries to keep from crying in front of Dina. 

“You really think I would have just abandoned you?”

“I don’t know,” Ellie sighs truthfully. No matter how close they were she would never blame Dina if she decided it was too much to deal with. She finally looks up to see pure pain and conflict in the dark brown eyes looking back at her.

Everything seems to snap back to reality when their barricade starts to give away. The clickers relentlessly slamming into the door had finally taken its toll.

“We need to go,” Dina murmurs as she starts to head toward the horses.

Ellie follows gripping her still slowly bleeding arm. The pain seemed dull compared to the hurting she feels inside.

The ride back is silent. Both girls thinking hard about everything that had happened. Returning to Jackson seemed to take three times as long as their ride this morning. Sorrow fills Ellie at the memories of their morning, filled with teasing and laughing. She’d give anything to go back.

When they return, Ellie knows to head straight for the clinic not wanting to argue about it with Dina. She needed to get the wound cleaned anyway. Losing an arm to infection was not o the top of her to-do list.

After they put the horses back in the stable, the girls awkwardly walk in silence towards the clinic. Instead of turning down the street towards the clinic, Dina turns to head home. Ellie’s heart drops.

“Are you going home?” Ellie asks with desperation. Losing Dina had always been her worst nightmare and now it seems to be coming true right before her eyes.

“Yeah, go get your arm fixed okay?” Dark brown eyes are filled with pain and quickly become glued to the ground.

Ellie can feel her heart begin to race. “But…I..”

The smaller girl cuts her off quickly. “I just need time to think, El.” A small hand grabs a calloused one that is slightly covered in dried blood and squeezes softly. Dina gives Ellie a forced half-smile and turns to walk away.

The auburn-haired girl can feel her heart rip in two as she watches Dina walk away_. I should have never let myself get this attached. She would never have started this if she had known the truth. You’re a fucking dick for keeping that from her. Now you lost your girlfriend and best friend in one go. _Her inner voice rips her apart as she trudges to the clinic. A lump catches in her throat threatening to send tears streaming down her face. Ellie uses all her strength to swallow it. All her feelings would just have to wait until she was somewhere safe, like her room, where she could let them out freely. Ellie could cry or scream or break something there in her safe place, but for now, she focuses on the pain rippling through her arm. That was the only pain she could handle for now. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the wait! Thanks for reading! Link to the jam
> 
> https://youtu.be/2Q_ZzBGPdqE


	16. Let It Be

The walk home from the clinic is brutal. Ellie hangs her head letting her eyes stay glued to the ground. Everything hurts. Her arm, her heart, her head. Emerald eyes burn with the tears that have been suppressed since the mask incident earlier that day. She barely makes it through her front door before they begin to spill down her face. She slams the door behind her, throws her backpack to the ground and lets her back slide down the door until she hits the floor. Strong hands bring her knees to her chest and she just cries. Every feeling of loss and sorrow explodes outward unable to be contained.

_How could I be so stupid? I should have told her. I should have told her. _Salt from her tears is all she can taste when she licks her chapped lips. Ellie buries her head in her knees and squeezes tight hoping to implode, anything to feel better. Her thoughts turn darker and darker making her spiral even further.

“Ellie?”

The gruff voice snaps her from the dark tunnel swallowing her whole. “I thought you had watch?” Ellie sniffles. She desperately tries to pull herself together not wanting Joel to be mad that her secret had been compromised. The first few years Joel had harped and harped about not telling anyone she was immune. It would put her in danger. Word could spread and get to people that wanted to hurt her. That had been another reason she never told Dina the truth. Every time she came close, Joel’s voice would ring in her ears.

“Not for another hour. What is wrong?” Joel stays frozen across the room. His eyes show he’s unsure of how to respond. Ellie rarely broke down like this. He could count on his hand the times he’d seen her cry.

Taking a big gulp, Ellie can’t decide how to answer. The last thing she wanted was a lecture about how she should have been more careful and how at-risk she is now. Especially after losing Dina.

“Nothing,” she whispers.

“This isn’t nothing,” Joel states firmly. His arms cross instinctively letting the auburn-haired girl know she isn’t going to get out of talking.

With a big sigh, Ellie digs in her backpack and pulls out the cracked mask. She tosses it across the floor towards the older man. Tears begin to streak down her face silently again.

Joel bends down slowly and picks the mask up. His eyes widen at the deep crack that runs through the top corner. “Shit.”

“It was an accident okay. The floor gave away beneath us, clickers and spores were everywhere. I didn’t even know it was cracked until we got out. And then she pointed to it and… and...”

The words catch in her throat and she begins to cry into her knees again. It didn’t matter anymore. There is no reason to hide.

“Who was on patrol with you?”

“Dina,” she chokes out.

A big sigh fills the air and Joel comes over and slides down beside the distraught girl.

“What did she do?”

The memory of the way Dina had looked at her sends a ripple of guilt through her body like a stone skipping across the lake. The forced smile on her soft lips as they had parted haunts Ellie.

“She was hurt I didn’t tell her. She said she needed time to think. The way she looked at me…” It was too much. She couldn’t force any more words out without completely breaking down in front of Joel. To her surprise, instead of a lecture a big arm wraps around her shoulders and pulls her close.

“I’m sorry baby girl. I’m sure she’ll come around. I’ve seen the way she cares for you.”

Ellie leans against his shoulder soaking in his words. “You’re not mad?” she whispers.

“It was an accident. You couldn’t have prepared for that. I’m just glad it was only Dina that found out. She will come around kiddo, don’t worry.”

“What if she doesn’t?” Ellie feels childish for crying and needing this reassurance from Joel, but it is making her feel a little better. 

“Ellie, I’ve watched you two for years. She loves you kid. Just give her time.”

The compassion laced in his deep gruff voice makes her heartache a little less. Familiarity hits as Ellie leans harder into Joel remembering the last time he had comforted her like this.

“Hey El, I found a new movie on patrol, it’s a classic…” Joel’s voice trailed off at the sound of sniffling. “Ellie?”

“Go away,” Ellie groaned into her pillow. She thought she had more time to wallow before he got back. Quiet footsteps shuffled into her room and her bed depressed as Joel sat beside her. Ellie refused to move, hoping her pillow would eventually smother her.

“What’s wrong kiddo?”

The uncomfortable tone in Joel’s voice let Ellie know he was not sure what to do but nevertheless he was trying. It made her mood lighten just slightly. Slowly, Ellie sat up and rubbed her running nose across her sleeve with a chuckle. “Oh nothing, just the usual teenage bullshit. Why can’t I be immune to that too?” Joel actually laughed at the joke which made her feel a little better.

“You wanna talk about it?” Joel’s all-knowing eyes prying the confession out of her.

“There’s just…. uhm… there’s this person that I really care about. But they started dating someone else. I know it’s childish and there’s a lot more to worry about but it still hurts you know? I don’t know. I was just going to wallow in my sorrow and deal with it by myself but _someone_ busted into my room.” Emerald eyes stung with tears that wanted to be set free. She hung her head in shame not having the courage to look up at Joel.

A long silence fills the empty room. Ellie knew he was thinking of how to respond. This wasn’t something either of them was used to doing. Talking.

“So, who is she?”

Ellie’s eyes widen and her body goes cold. She never told him she liked girls. Not sure how’d he’d react, it seemed best to just leave it unsaid. Even when she had dated Kat for a few months before she left, Ellie had been extra careful to not let Joel or really anyone else besides Dina find out. They hadn’t been really serious so it was never a big issue. But now, it was all out in the open. Fear ran through her bones, scared to lose the only constant in her life.

Realizing Ellie was too petrified to speak, Joel chuckled and wrapped an arm around her. “Kiddo, I’ve known for a while. Don’t look so surprised.”

“How?” Ellie’s voice cracks with the question.

“I may be old but I know a thing or two,” Joel chuckles. “Is there any chance this person can uhm reciprocate these feelings?” 

As cringy as it was, she knew what he was asking. _Is she straight?_ “I thought something was going to happen but it didn’t. Just hopeful wishing. That’s what makes it more pathetic,” she grumbled.

The almost-kiss between Dina and her on her birthday had been a month ago. The memory burned in the back of her mind like a brand. Just when she thought they might have something; that morning Dina had been hanging all over Jesse because they were “together now”. Jealousy crawled back up her body like it had that morning and a few silent tears rolled down her freckled cheeks.

Joel squeezed her tight with a sigh. “It’s hard being seventeen. And if it makes any difference, I’m sure this girl will come around. Just be yourself, it’ll get easier.”

Even though it still hurt, Joel’s comfort made it a little bit more bearable. She squeezed him back, “Thanks.”

“No problem kiddo, now come on. I’ll make us some omelets and we can watch this movie.”

Ellie smiles through her tears at the old memory that mirrors her current situation. Finally pulling herself off the floor, the auburn-haired girl grips her broken mask and goes to throw it in the trash. Watching it sink to the bottom makes her heart hurt all over again. The way Dina had sobbed, thinking Ellie would become one of those things, rings in her ears.

“You want me to make omelets?”

Joel’s voice pulls her from her own dark mind. She hadn’t even heard him follow her. Desperation grips her body and mind. Tears begin to roll down her face again.

“What am I supposed to do?” she chokes out as she turns and collapses back into his arms.

“Do you want real advice even though it might not be what you want to hear?”

Ellie nods into his chest unable to speak through her hushed cries.

“Let it be.”

She quickly jerks back to look up at him in bewilderment. _How is that going to help?_

“El, she needs to decide what she wants on her own. She’ll come around if she wants to. I know it’s hard but it sounds like she wants space,” he explains with a sympathetic voice.

Emerald eyes stare at the ground. A river of tears flows down her cheeks at the thought of Dina truly not wanting her anymore. She knows he’s right though. That’s what she is going to have to do for now as hard as it is. Let it be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays everybody! Thanks for reading. Here's the link :)
> 
> https://youtu.be/QDYfEBY9NM4


	17. You've Got to Hide Your Love Away

Two days pass slowly with no word from Dina. Ellie had been growing more and more numb trying to keep from hitting rock bottom. Her nights had been restless, unable to get the way Dina had looked at her out of her head. It haunted her nightmares.

Ellie hadn’t even seen her around town the past few days which was very uncommon. She decided it was for the best because she honestly wasn’t sure how’d she handle seeing her girlfriend. Or ex-girlfriend. Ellie wasn’t sure if they were still dating. It didn’t seem like it and she desperately tried not to think about it as she stood at Jackson’s west gate during her watch shift.

The snow had melted significantly. So much so that a little bit of grass could be seen under her faded sneakers. Ellie was on a gate watch which meant she had to open the gates to let patrols in and out while also keeping an eye on the world beyond it. It was a slow day; her shift had begun after all the morning patrols had left so she mostly just paced back and forth trying to keep her mind from roaming to the dark places that were swarmed with thoughts of Dina.

Jackson starts to bathe in the orange glow of the setting sun before Ellie has to open the gate for the first time during her shift. Pulling the heavy chains that hold the gate closed, Ellie can feel a small film of sweat build on her brow. A small patrol of three comes cruising in on horses and as soon as they are in, she begins closing the gate. Her muscles begin to burn as she gives it one last good pull before locking it closed. Ellie immediately walks over and begins taking supplies they had gathered. Focused on taking a mental inventory of each item given to her, Ellie doesn’t realize Dina is one of the people handing her patrol finds.

“I’ll take these in you guys….” Emerald eyes finally look up and lock on to the dark brown ones staring intensely back at her. The words suddenly catch in her throat. Mouth dry, Ellie feels frozen in time. “….. just worry about the horses,” she finally finishes, her eyes never leaving Dina’s.

Ellie uses all of her strength to keep her face from showing all the pain and longing she feels. She searches dark eyes hoping to find an answer to all the questions that had built up over the past two days. _Why won’t you talk to me? Are we over? Do you still love me? _

The taller girl quickly looks down as the last question stays burning in her mind. She didn’t have the strength to learn the answer now or maybe ever. Continuing to take the supplies, their fingertips brush together as Dina hands over the last item. Ellie flinches at the contact and hopes no one, especially Dina, notices.

The touch sends electricity through Ellie’s body in the worst way. She had been craving Dina’s touch for the past two days. The way her soft hands traced her face when they lay in bed, how they cup her cheeks when they kiss, and how they pull roughly on her auburn hair when they…. Ellie quickly shakes her head trying to stop hurting herself more. 

When she looks back up, the small girl is eyeing her, seemingly trying to understand the internal struggle she is witnessing within Ellie. The taller girl just stares back, longing filling in her forest-green eyes. There is so much she wants to say and ask but it’s stuck in her throat.

A small, understanding half smile pulls on Dina’s lips but her eyes flash a hint of disappointment and then she’s gone. Ellie just watches as she guides Rose into the stables and out of sight.

The auburn-haired girl groans as she walks back to her post. _Why didn’t you say anything?_ Pain tugs on her heart again but she numbs it out. _You have a job to do. Don’t get distracted._

Another patrol comes in an hour later and Ellie again lets them in and collects their supplies. Another hour passes and her shift finally ends. Ellie gathers all the supplies up and takes it to the supply building to be sorted in the morning.

The night is clear and Ellie looks at the stars on her way home. The way they sparkle and shine keep her mind distracted from the encounter with Dina. Joel had tried to explain constellations when she was younger and how to spot them in the night sky. But truthfully, she didn’t care enough to actually learn, she had only liked the mythological stories behind them. Many nights on their trek across the country they slept under the stars and Ellie would listen to Joel weave the comedies and tragedies in a perfect storytelling fashion. They were some of the only good memories she had from their journey.

Ellie pushes through the front door to see Joel watching some old war movie on the tv.

“Hey kiddo, how was watch?”

“Shitty,” she scoffs. More than anything she wants to talk about seeing Dina but something stops her. She didn’t really feel like breaking down in front of him again.

“I made some deer burgers.”

Ellie’s stomach rumbles loudly at his words. She hadn’t eaten much the past few days and it was starting to catch up with her now. “Thanks.”

Dark brown eyes haunt her thoughts as she sits and eats with Joel. Ellie replays the unexpected meeting over and over again in her mind like a skipping record. Even though she is starving the meat is tasteless as she consumes it. Her eyes watch the movie but they don’t register what they take in. Ellie’s mind is far away.

“You good Ellie?”

“I’m fine,” she replies without thinking.

“The movies been off for ten minutes and you haven’t even noticed,” Joel challenges.

Ellie finally snaps from her deep thoughts to see Joel eyeing her with concern. She notices the deep lines in his face and the grey that is more prominent in his beard and hair. _He really is becoming an old man._

“I saw Dina today,” she blurts out and immediately regrets it.

“And?”

“And I just stared at her like an idiot. We didn’t speak,” she sighs. “We didn’t really get a chance.”

“I’m sorry kiddo, can I do anything?”

“No, I’ll get over it,” she mumbles trying to get up to her room quickly before the tears building in her eyes start to spill. “Goodnight.” Ellie stands and fast walks through the living room and up the stairs. Safe behind her bedroom door she lets the tears run freely down her face. She listens to see if Joel was following to comfort her but he doesn’t and she’s grateful. He always had been good at knowing when she needs support and when she needs to be alone.

The worn-out bed groans beneath her as she flops down onto it_. _Everything hurts. Ellie begins to crave Dina’s touch again. The brush from earlier still lingers as she remembers the way it feels to have Dina’s hands on her. To touch the beautiful girl back. The taste she leaves on Ellie’s lips after they kiss. The subtle lavender scent of her warm, soft skin. The way she teases every chance she gets with a sweet and alluring voice. Ellie feels like she’s drowning from a sensory overload that isn’t real.

_ I’m tired of this love bull-shit. It’s not fucking worth it._ Her mind decides that’s her best plan moving forward and thankfully the numbing begins to take effect. The tears dry and she lays silently looking up at the ceiling. Nothing runs through her mind; everything is blank and that’s how she likes it.

Sleep never comes as much as Ellie tries to will it to. Hours have passed and she still finds herself staring blankly at her ceiling. A glance at the clock on the wall lets her know it’s almost two in the morning. She thanks whatever god she can think of that she has mid-watch shift tomorrow again and not early morning.

The quietness of the house rings in her ears. It almost annoys her how quiet it is but it also comforts her. It is easier to be numb in complete and deafening silence.

_Tap. Tap. Tap. _

Ellie almost jumps out of her skin at the tapping on her bedroom window. Finally breathing normally again, the tapping begins again in the distinct pattern she’d heard a thousand times. Her heart begins to pound against her chest.

Ellie crosses the dark room and slowly slides the window open. Big brown eyes look back at her and she feels frozen again like she had that morning.

Dina stays crouched on the roof looking the way Ellie remembers from her first few years in Jackson before she had gotten her own house. The small girl would sneak over all the time and climb through the window and spend the night. Ellie feels like her younger self again, just as excited and scared that the beautiful girl was sneaking into her room to see her. It had been almost two years since Dina had tapped on her window, wanting to be let in. But now she is here again, and Ellie can’t function correctly.

“Can I come in?” A dark pain ripples across Dina’s moonlit face as she speaks, seeming unsure if the taller girl would let her.

The fear in Dina’s voice restarts Ellie’s unworking mind and body. Still unable to speak, she just steps aside and lets Dina slip gracefully inside. Small hands close the window as to not let any more of the cold winter air inside. 

Ellie takes in as much of the girl standing in front of her as she can with the only light coming from the moon shining through the window. Black leggings hug perfectly sculpted legs until they are covered by an oversized grey hoodie that hangs slightly below her hips. Something familiar registers in her mind and it’s not until she looks harder that Ellie realizes it’s her hoodie on the smaller girl. It had been missing for weeks and the auburn-haired girl had finally given up on finding it even though it was her favorite. The realization makes her heart swell with the hope that maybe this wasn’t going to end badly.

Moments seem like hours to Ellie as she locks into an intense stare with Dina. Both girls trying to read each other’s thoughts. The taller girl notes the unsure look on Dina’s face. It still shocks Ellie every time she sees Dina looking any other way than her usual confident manner. Dina opens her mouth to say something but quickly shuts it and looks down only making Ellie more worried. 

_She’s just trying to let you down easy. You’re pathetic. _The voice inside is relentless. “You can just leave, I understand,” Ellie finally sighs accepting the truth her head had been trying to tell her since she can remember. _She deserves so much more than a freak like you._

“I don’t want to, Ellie,” Dina whispers. “I wanted to tell you I am sorry. I shouldn’t have shut you out. I just needed to think about stuff.”

A ray of hope lights Ellie up just enough to look up at the beautiful girl. “What stuff?” she questions not sure she actually wants to hear the answer. The small girl takes a calloused hand and guides Ellie to sit on the bed with her. The touch warms her heart but Ellie quickly shuts down any optimistic thoughts. They would only hurt her more.

They sit facing each other in silence. Ellie patiently waits for the small girl to speak, but the longer the silence, the more she worries.

“Ellie, I am sorry. When I saw the mask was cracked everything inside me felt broken. I couldn’t lose you. I couldn’t watch you become one of those things. I just couldn’t….”

Ellie listens to the way emotion chokes Dina’s voice, pulling back the memories from when she had sobbed into her chest in the freezing snow. It breaks her heart all over again.

Dina pushes through after a few deep breathes. “I just couldn’t picture my life without you. Not one worth living anyway. Then when you told me about being immune, I felt such relief but also anger that you hadn’t told me. But most of all I felt scared of how quickly I knew I couldn’t go on without you. I might be alive but I’d be just as dead as one of those things on the inside you know?”

Ellie nods, being numb inside was something she had a lot of experience with. Even in the dim light, Ellie can see tears brimming Dina’s eyes. Nothing but pure sadness is written across her face as she speaks.

“I understand why you didn’t tell me; I really do. It’s not your fault. I just thought maybe I should hide my love away for my own good because I didn’t realize that you are truly everything to me, Ellie. I couldn’t live without you and in this world, you know how terrifying that is.”

Ellie sits in amazement. Her heart begins to beat loudly in her chest as she listens to the enduring words that fill the empty room.

“But the longer I stayed away the more I needed you. When I finally saw you at the gate, I felt like I found the part of me that had been broken during our patrol. I know it sounds sappy or whatever but being without you hurts just as much as when I thought I lost you.”

A single tear streams down the taller girl’s face as she listens. This was everything she wanted to hear and more from Dina. Her heart feels like it might explode if the apology continues so she reaches out and cups Dina’s moonlit cheeks and pulls her into a hard kiss. All of the longing built up explodes against her lips as she kisses the beautiful girl with all the love she feels. Every part of her soul wanting to feel the connection.

Dina kisses her back with just as much intensity and love. Ellie pulls the small girl onto her lap and she doesn’t stop kissing her until Dina pulls back. Soft fingers reach up and brush the tears spilling down the taller girl’s freckled cheeks. Ellie hadn’t even realized she was crying. The relief she feels has rendered her helpless.

Ellie lets her watery emerald eyes burn in brown ones with a big grin. She chuckles at the way she can’t ever keep her emotions in check around Dina. Sniffling, Ellie lays them down and buries her face into a soft, warm neck. The smell of lavender calms her emotions. Dina’s arms wrap around and pull her closer and she feels at home there. Soft kisses pepper the top of her head and Ellie burrows deeper into the side of her girlfriend.

“I love you so much,” Dina whispers into her ear.

Ellie squeezes the smaller girl tight never wanting to let go and she doesn’t all throughout the night. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Thanks for reading and commenting, you guys are awesome. I promise the next few chapters will have a happier tone lol. 
> 
> https://youtu.be/V8nLraecPRY


	18. From Me To You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Sorry this took a while. It's a longer one so I hope that makes up for the wait! Also, here is a big smut warning. Enjoy :)

Morning rays pull Ellie from her deep sleep. Her limbs flare out wide trying to stretch the sleep out of them. Expecting to feel her girlfriend’s slim shape beside her, the absence makes her eyes snap open. A small panic sets in and her heart rate picks up. _Where is she?_ _Did she leave? _

Ellie sits straight up to search the room frantically. Relief washes over her when her eyes find the small girl sitting across the room reading one of her comics. A comforting sigh escapes Ellie’s slightly chapped lips.

Dina looks up acknowledging the sudden movement from the bed. “Good morning sleepy head. These things are pretty good actually. I wish you had the next one. This is a real cliffhanger!” she smiles as she sets the comic down.

“Fuck, I know right! I can’t find it anywhere,” Ellie groans and slams back down onto the bed. She silently berates herself for going into panic mode for no reason. She quickly perks up at the sound of the beautiful girl climbing back in her bed. Dina crawls up her body and snuggles into her chest. The feeling of contentment fills Ellie like it never has before.

They lay there silently taking in each other’s presence until Ellie’s stomach growls loudly breaking the silence. 

“Somebody is hungry,” she giggles and kisses a freckled cheek.

“If only there was a hot girl in my bed who would make me breakfast,” Ellie teases. That earns her a full laugh.

Brown eyes roll with exaggerated annoyance. “Damn shame isn’t it?”

The taller girl theatrically sags deeper into the bed closing her eyes and groaning. “I guess I’ll just waste away to nothing…. here in this bed…with no food.” An emerald eye peeps open looking at her girlfriend only to get a deadpan stare back. “I guess I’ll just starve,” she moans as one last-ditch effort. Unable to keep up the charade, a grin begins to pull on her lips.

“Oh, you are so full of shit, Williams!” Dina laughs as she jumps on top of the taller girl and digs her fingers into Ellie’s sides where she knows is ticklish.

“Okay! Okay! I’ll make my own breakfast!” Ellie yelps, desperately trying to squirm out from under her tormentor. Their laughs fill the cold room until Dina finally has mercy on the ticklish girl.

“What do you want then,” Dina playfully sighs.

“Huh?”

“What do you want to eat?”

Ellie can’t help the electric spark that runs through her body. The way Dina’s hips sit on hers suddenly becomes painfully obvious. Emerald eyes turn dark with lust as they look up into brown ones. Being apart from her girlfriend for the past few days only adds fuel to the fire quickly growing in her belly. A devilish smirk pulls on her lips as calloused hands instinctively move up the legging covered thighs on either side of her waist.

The smaller girl’s eyes widen at the sudden confidence but quickly grow devilish matching Ellie’s. “Someone’s feeling bold?” she scoffs and leans down letting her lips graze teasingly.

Soft lips ghost down a clenched jawline and Ellie quickly turns her head to the side craving them on her neck. Her blood threatens to boil under her skin that is already covered in goosebumps. Uncontrollably, her fingernails dig into firm thighs when Dina brushes her lips against the pulse point on her neck.

The small girl giggles at the desperation and neediness surfacing in Ellie. Lips torment slowly up and hover over her ear. “I want you bad,” Dina punctuates the sentence with a nip of her earlobe knowing how it drives her wild. 

Ellie wiggles in anticipation and lust. The teasing whisper in her ear makes her hips buck slightly and a low groan escapes from her lips.

“But you have watch and I need to make us breakfast,” Dina giddily smirks and hops up off the bed in one smooth motion.

The taller girl just groans in frustration. “Why do you have to that?” Calloused hands rub her temples trying to relieve the fire inside in some way. It doesn’t work.

“Do what?” Dina questions smugly. Brown eyes innocently batting down at her girlfriend.

“Get everything…like started…and then… ughhhh,” Ellie whines like a child but she doesn’t really care. Her body still burns with desire.

Soft hands help pull the auburn-haired girl out of bed. “Because I like teasing you, it’s hot watching you get all worked up.”

The small girl leans up and gives Ellie a sensual kiss that lingers. The fire inside grows again and strong hands shoot out to grab Dina’s waist. The small girl smirks against her lips and pulls away with a sly wink.

Ellie tries to let her stare burn into the smaller girl, hoping it silently convinces her to rethink. It doesn’t. _How does she do that? Be cool and teasing and not give in. I need to work on that._

“Come on horndog,” Dina giggles pulling Ellie towards the door. “I’ll see what you guys have to make since someone is too distracted to pick.”

Ellie just groans in response.

***

Bacon sizzles loudly in the pan as Dina makes breakfast. The mouth-watering smell wafts through the kitchen making Ellie’s stomach growl loudly. Emerald eyes track every movement. Lost in the dreams of having her own house and life with this girl pull Ellie out of focus. _We could do this every day. Our own house, maybe a dog. _

“Whatcha thinking about, Williams?”

The sudden question snaps Ellie from her daydream. She didn’t realize Dina had already sat her breakfast in front of her. Crimson paints her freckled cheeks, too embarrassed to admit her real thoughts.

“She should be thinking about her two-day patrol starting tomorrow,” a gruff voice interjects.

Both girls look quickly up at the man striding into the kitchen. His eyes roam over the scene he has stumbled upon and quickly locks onto the small girl sitting across from Ellie. He then gives a questioning look to Ellie trying to get some reading on the situation. The auburn-haired girl gives a weak smile back.

“Haven’t seen you around lately Dina.”

Ellie winces internally. She may have forgiven Dina but Joel had seen how much pain his girl had been in and wasn’t going to let her off so easily. Her face reddens even more as an awkward silence falls over the kitchen. She keeps her eyes glued to the table even though she can feel Dina looking for some sort of help.

“I’ve just been kinda busy lately you know?” Dina whispers halfheartedly.

“Hmph,” Joel says nothing else as he grabs an apple for breakfast.

“I can see if there is more bacon to make if you’d like Joel,” Dina offers with a soft smile.

“I only got enough for two people,” he grumbles back with a hint of irritation.

Pure embarrassment fills Ellie. She shoots him a death look hoping he’ll back off. He seems to get it and turns to quietly slice the apple. _What the fuck is his problem._

Finally locking eyes with Dina, she can see pure shock and a hint of hurt in her dark brown eyes. The girls hurriedly finish their breakfast and head back to Ellie’s room so she can get ready for watch. 

“He’s mad.”

“He’s always mad,” Ellie offers trying to get off the topic. A big black hoodie and jeans are chosen to keep her warm through the cold shift she’s about to endure. Quickly, she changes and sits down to lace her boots up. “What are you doing tonight?” she questions hoping Dina will just let the Joel encounter go.

“Got night watch tonight,” she sighs and sits beside the taller girl.

A rush of disappointment runs through Ellie. “But that means I won’t see you till I get back Friday evening,” she whines not caring how desperate it sounds. She frowns deeply as she finishes tying up her boots.

Dina leans against her girlfriend’s shoulder feeling the muscles flex at the sudden contact. “Aww, it’s almost like you’ll miss me,” she teases.

“I do miss you,” Ellie pouts. She turns and quickly wraps strong arms around the smaller girl’s waist. Unable to keep her desires buried any longer, Ellie crashes her lips into Dina’s and pulls her closer. Calloused hands roam hungrily up the small of her back and into a sea of black curly hair. The unexpected aggressiveness pulls a deep moan from Dina’s throat that only drives Ellie crazier with want. A small hand forcefully pushes against her chest breaking their passionate string of kisses. A deep lustful look burns in the brown eyes looking back at her.

“Don’t start something you can’t finish,” Dina giggles with a sinful gaze.

“Oh, I can finish it,” Ellie challenges moving back in to start kissing the beautiful girl but is caught again by a small but forceful hand. 

“Not when you have to be at the south gate in ten minutes.”

Ellie quickly looks at the clock across the room. _Fuck she’s right._ The taller girl groans in frustration. Everything feels on fire inside and sitting in the cold for six hours straight sounds worse than death right now. Strong shoulders slump and a frown sprawl across her face.

“Oh, don’t pout,” Dina giggles and uses her fingers to tilt Ellie’s face up to meet her in a soft kiss. She lets one finger trace down a chiseled jawline before seductively walking them down Ellie’s chest. “And besides, whenever you come home Friday, I’ll be all yours.”

A shiver runs down Ellie’s spin at the thought. “I think Joel has night watch too,” she adds quickly, unable to hide her excitement. The fingers on her chest only bolster to the feeling.

Dina kisses her with a force that leaves her reeling for more. So much so she even has a flash of thought about being late to watch but it is quickly diminished. They both stand to head out and her weak knees barely get her up off the bed. Not wanting anymore confrontation with Joel, they hurry down the steps silently and out the front door.

“I’ll see you Friday, handsome,” Dina hums and kisses Ellie goodbye sweetly.

Ellie blushes at the compliment, still unable to believe a beautiful girl like Dina would ever think of her that way. “Yes ma’am,” she whispers shyly and heads off in a quick jog hoping to make it across town to the south gate in record time.

***

The patrol goes as well as expected. A few more infected than planned for but overall it went smoothly. It was one of the first patrols Ellie comes back from and doesn’t need to go straight to the clinic. Only a few cuts on her arms and some nasty bruises are all she earned this trip. Considering the amount of fighting she endured she counts herself lucky as she trudges home. Her muscles ache as she climbs the stairs up the front porch and through the door. The only thing keeping her awake is the excitement of seeing her girlfriend and finally having some time to themselves.

Soft music plays from the kitchen and a wonderful smell fills the air. Her mouth waters at the thought of a warm meal and not expired cans of vegetables. Ellie enters the kitchen to a very confusing and unexpected sight. Joel stands over the oven frying something in a pan and Dina sits at the table peeling potatoes. Both are humming happily to the music playing as they work. Pure astonishment fills Ellie. _The last time they were in the same room I wanted to die from the awkwardness between them. I guess they worked it out? _

“What smells so good?” Ellie laughs still not sure if she’s dreaming. Both Joel and Dina look up from their tasks unaware Ellie had been watching for the past few moments. It brings a smile to her face to see them happily making dinner. Like some kind of fucked up family. But still a family none the less. 

“Just making steaks and potatoes. How was patrol kiddo?”

“Actually, went pretty smoothly believe it or not,” Ellie chuckles as she walks to kiss her girlfriend.

Emerald eyes take in the tight leggings and black t-shirt that’s a size too big on the small girl. Ellie can’t even be upset that the shirt has been stolen from her closet. She loves the way her girlfriend looks in her clothes. Curly black hair is pulled back in the usual bun that sits perfectly on her head. A small peck on the lips is all the beautiful girl gives before pushing her away. “Go shower and dinner will be ready when you get done,” Dina hums still attentively peeling the potatoes.

A twinge of longing pulls inside the taller girl. Everything inside her wants more from Dina. They’d been apart for so long it hurt, but she quickly pushes those feelings down and runs to take a shower.

The hot water not only cleanses the dirt and grime from the past two days but also clears her mind and lets it be totally consumed with thoughts of the beautiful girl in her kitchen. The way Dina feels against her skin. The way she melts under her touch. Everything about her drives her wild. The blood beneath her skin begins to run as hot as the water streaming off her.

_ I have got to get myself under control. Joel’s still here for fuck sakes. They are going to wonder what is taking so long. Just a little longer, you can do it. Pull it together, Ellie. _

Feeling clean once again, Ellie hurriedly changes into a blue long sleeve t-shirt and a pair of boxers. As she heads back down to the kitchen the sound of one of the first songs Joel ever taught her on guitar plays from his CD player. Even more surprising is the sound of two voices singing along with the melodies. 

_If there's anything that you want  
If there's anything I can do  
Just call on me, and I'll send it along  
With love from me to you_

_I got everything that you want  
Like a heart that's, oh, so true_

Joel didn’t sing in front of anyone but her occasionally and maybe Tommy when they played together. But here he is, bent over the stove still cooking, singing along with Dina like it was something that they did every night. _What the hell happened while I was gone?_

Finally looking up from the potatoes, Dina catches the quizzical look Ellie is giving her and smiles softly without missing a beat of the song. Brown eyes drink in the newly showered girl hungrily before she stands and moves closer to sing and dance with Ellie.

_I got arms that long to hold you and keep you by my side_

Soft arms pull the taller girl close. Warmth ripples down her lanky frame at the contact. Dina leans in to sing the next part right in her ear. Her voice is warm and inviting as the hot breath hits her freckled skin.

_I got lips that long to kiss you and keep you satisfied_

Dina’s voice deepens into a low growl only meant for Ellie to hear on the last word and it sets her on fire. The seductive look she gets when Dina pulls back only adds to the inferno growing in her belly. But as quickly as it started, Dina pulls away and continues to sing sweetly as if nothing had happened.

Joel turns around, finally brings his steaks off the stove, and gives a warm smile to Ellie. Heat crawls up her face and burns her ears as she tries to reign in her lust-filled mind.

_If there's anything that you want  
If there's anything I can do  
Just call on me, and I'll send it along  
With love from me to you_

The song ends as Ellie sits down to enjoy dinner with her favorite people. Everything is delicious but it could be because she’s only eaten expired mush from a can for two days. The longer dinner carries on the harder it is to keep her eyes from staring at the girl across from her. The way she smiles as she talks about the things she’s interested in. The constellations of light freckles that pepper her nose and cheeks. The little black wisps of hair that frame her beautiful face. Ellie gets caught staring more than once. Dark brown eyes give her a sinful look each time only making it harder to keep her mind off being alone with Dina later. A burning warmth resides in her belly permanently.

“Y’all wanna watch a movie?” Joel asks as they clean up the dinner table.

“I thought you had watch?” Ellie questions with a hint of panic in her voice. 

“Not till twelve.”

_Fucking hell. I thought he left at nine. I just want to be alone with my girlfriend. Is that too much to ask? _

“Sounds great. What are we watching?” Dina interjects saving the auburn-haired girl from sounding like a complete asshole who just wants him gone.

“Y’all ever seen The Hurt Locker?”

***

Not even an hour into the movie, Joel is passed out in his recliner snoring softly. Ellie and Dina lay snuggling quietly on the couch. The auburn-haired girl had finally taken it upon herself to get an unbroken, long couch from one of the still abandoned houses in the settlement. Dina came over enough to warrant a place for them to watch movies comfortably instead of squeezing into Ellie’s recliner. Dragging it home had been a pain in the ass but it had been more than worth it to have a comfortable place to lay together in front of the tv.

Ellie lays on her back with the smaller girl cuddling up with half of her body draping over Ellie and her head snuggled cozily on her chest. The heat of Dina warms Ellie in a way she truly fights against given Joel is snoring ten feet away. But the more she tries to bury the feeling the more it consumes her every thought. The taller girl prays Dina can’t hear how loud her heart is beating. It drums in her ears so deafening Ellie almost can’t hear the movie anymore. Not that she had really been watching it anyway. It didn’t help that a soft hand was resting innocently under her shirt and against her toned stomach.

_What the fuck is wrong with me? I can’t go one week without turning into a fucking horny teenager. Jesus, I need to get a grip. _

The auburn-haired girl focuses on talking herself down from losing her cool until a small hand begins tracing circles on her skin. Everything in her mind goes blank. The slow feather-like movements trace slowly over her stomach. Fingers graze the waistband of her boxers, sending ripples of electricity through every nerve in her body. Ellie doesn’t dare move. Every muscle in her body is frozen. But the heat building inside only flares up as the soft hand moves teasingly on her skin. Unable to hide her lingering arousal, harden peaks start to show through Ellie’s t-shirt and wetness begins to pool below. Emerald eyes stay glued to the tv desperately trying to focus on the movie and hoping her girlfriend doesn’t realize how much her touching is turning her on. Neither works out in like she wants them to.

The small hand driving her crazy slowly drags down to do the same ministrations over her knee and inner thigh. Ellie allows a quick look to make sure Joel is still asleep before turning to look at her girlfriend. Dina lays innocently still, all except her fingers, with eyes watching the movie like nothing is happening. But the smirk on her lips gives away her act. Ellie tries to do the same and looks back at the tv. Teasing fingertips trace endless patterns on warm skin moving closer to her center in the slowest possible manner.

Ellie is totally under Dina’s control. Trying to move will wake Joel. Any sounds will do the same. There’s nothing she can do but fall prey to her girlfriend’s actions. She’s as thrilled as she is terrified. The blanket covering them keeps their sinful actions discreet but it becomes harder and harder to stay silent. The wetness pooling inside begins to soak through her boxers. Freckled cheeks burn in embarrassment at how aroused simple touches have made her.

_God damn it. I’ve never been this wet before. Good thing we can’t speak. I know she’d have something to say about it. Fuck and Joel is right there! What if he wakes up? I’d fucking die from… _

Her inner voice is quickly shut up as a finger moves up brushing the edge of her boxers. Dina finally breaks her eyes away from the movie to look up. Dark brown eyes burn seductively into emerald ones. The taller girl feels weak under the gaze. She tries to give Dina a warning look but fails miserably at standing firm. Every thought in her mind knows they should stop before Joel wakes up to a very awkward situation. But every part of her body wants longs and burns for more.

Both girl’s breathing becomes slightly more rapid as Dina silently props herself up on the arm underneath her and moves her small hand directly between Ellie’s legs. Dina gasps softly and dark eyes widen in lustful surprise as she feels the wetness that has soaked through there.

“Fuck, Ellie.”

Dina’s soft whisper makes the taller girl’s hip buck slightly into the hand touching her. A single moment of clarity ripples through her foggy mind. “You’re going to get us in trouble,” Ellie whispers in a voice that is half panicked and half drowning in lust. 

The smaller girl tilts her head ever so slightly to whisper in her ear, “It kinda feels like you want to be in trouble.”

A soft hand pushes firmly between her legs and it takes all of Ellie’s willpower to not buck her hips and moan aloud. Emerald eyes dart to keep an eye on the sleeping man sitting beside them then back to dark brown ones that are silently asking permission to continue. Everything is on fire inside. Every part of Ellie wants more from her girlfriend even though they shouldn’t and that’s when she realizes that’s a big part of why she’s so turned on. The thrill of being one second away from getting caught.

_God, I’m fucking going to hell for this. _“We can’t get caught,” she warns with a whisper. Dark brown eyes grow darker with want at the permission given. A devilish smirk pulls on her lips making Ellie gulp in nervous excitement. _What has she gotten me into? _

“Then you need to stay quiet, handsome,” Dina teases softly.

“I’m trying, but if you keep teasing me it….” Ellie stifles a groan as soft fingers push her loose boxers to the side just enough to delve into the wet heat between her legs. Green eyes squeeze shut tightly as fingers caress wet folds skillfully. A strong hand grips the back of Dina’s shirt so hard it threatens to rip, trying to release the tension burning inside in some silent way.

Knowing their time is limited, Dina moves one finger lower and presses against her wet opening. Ellie bites her lip hard to keep quiet. So hard, in fact, she’s pretty sure the faint taste of blood hits her taste buds. Gradually, the digit pushes inside and the taller girl’s mouth opens instinctively to moan but is quickly covered up by Dina’s free hand. Feeling herself stretch around her girlfriend sends shock waves of pleasure from head to toe. When Dina adds another, Ellie feels like she might drown in pure lust.

Still somewhat concealed by the blanket, the beautiful girl begins pumping in and out in a slow but commanding rhythm. Trying to keep still is almost impossible. The auburn-haired girl digs her fingernails into the couch and Dina’s back. Low groans start uncontrollably rising from deep in her chest but are thankfully muffled by the hand over her mouth. It presses down harder trying to completely silence the sounds.

Dina picks up the pace as much as possible without making too much movement. Ellie almost completely combusts right there in the living room. Emerald eyes shoot open in panic as she feels her orgasm rising quickly. Dina catches the look and grins smugly. Small fingers push deep inside the taller girl and curl upwards. Brown eyes are wild with want as she watches Ellie unravel beneath her. 

“Are you going to cum for me?” The soft voice whispers in her ear and that’s the beginning of the end for Ellie. Ecstasy explodes within and ripples throughout every vein in her body. Tidal waves of pleasure crash through her over and over. Her long body goes rigid as Dina continues to fuck her all throughout the release. It takes everything in her to not scream out. Dina muffles her own moans into a strong shoulder. 

As the last ripples of her orgasm run their course, the sudden ringing of an alarm blares throughout the living room and both girls freeze in fear. Ellie had forgotten Joel had set an alarm on the stove for 11:30 in case they all fell asleep. Joel’s eyes snap open and the two girls pretend to watch the movie like it’s the most interesting thing they’d ever seen. Ellie searches for any look of knowing in Joel’s eyes but he simply stretches and yawns loudly in his chair.

Dina’s fingers stay dormant inside the taller girl. They both know any movement will give away what had transpired seconds before the alarm had gone off. Ellie gives her girlfriend a look of panicked confusion but of course, Dina looks as calm and cool as ever. A sly smirk even pulls on her soft lips. Her beautiful face turns dark and Ellie feels a ripple of excitement and fear run up her spine. 

“Did you like the movie?” Joel yawns as he rubs his eyes.

“Did you like the movie, El?” Dina asks with a voice that is overly saturated in innocence.

Just when Ellie is about to speak the fingers still inside her curl forcefully. The taller girl half moans half gasps out an inaudible word as an answer. Heat burns her face and ears to the point she feels like they might catch on fire.

“Huh?” Joel gives her a befuddled look only making her more embarrassed.

“I mean… uhh … it was pretty good… yeah...” Ellie quickly spits out trying to keep calm but failing miserably.

The gruff man gives her a strange look but eventually shrugs and turns to the smaller girl for her answer.

“I liked it,” Dina answers without a hint of distress in her velvety voice.

Ellie shoots her girlfriend the meanest look she can conjure. Dina just smiles seductively back and pecks her freckled cheek. Joel stands to stretch and Dina takes the opportunity to remove herself from between Ellie’s legs. A feeling of relief and a pang of longing for more confuse her still swimming brain. Everything in her is flustered by her girlfriend. 

“I’m gonna make some coffee, y’all want some?” Joel heads to the kitchen and the girls stand to follow.

Ellie’s knees are weak as she stands and she can feel her girlfriend’s smug eyes on her shaky legs. As they begin to head to the kitchen, a small hand grabs a calloused one and stops the taller girl from following Joel.

Dark brown eyes burn seductive holes into the auburn-haired girl. The small hand that had been previously between her legs slowly moves up to Dina’s soft, plump lips. Emerald eyes dial in on the wetness that still coats them. They widen in shock as Dina licks them clean, her dark brown eyes never breaking contact with Ellie’s. The fire in the taller girl’s belly reignites with a burst of heat as she watches awestruck.

Dina pulls her close and goes up on her tiptoes to whisper lowly so only her girlfriend can hear. “You taste so fucking good.”

A whimper escapes Ellie’s lips. Dina’s small hand pats her freckled cheek teasingly before she turns and calmly strides into the kitchen.

Ellie is left standing there in complete amazement and disbelief. Her usually strong legs threaten to totally give out beneath her.

_Jesus Christ that was something else. Definitely worth the wait. God, she’s so hot. I am certainly going to repay the favor when Joel leaves. _

After a few cups of coffee and small talk, Joel tells them goodnight and heads out for his shift. The minute the door shuts, Dina turns to her with dark eyes filled with lust and a smirk that matches. A totally different girl stands before Ellie than the one that had just been sitting in her kitchen talking softly and sweetly. For the second time that night, Ellie feels like she’s going to be in trouble and she welcomes it gladly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! The next chapter starts right where this one left off so yes that will be two smut chapters back to back. Lol. Anyways, y'all are awesome and here's the link to one of my favorites from the boy band era of The Beatles. FYI my favorite era. 
> 
> https://youtu.be/Dc1-W4KsHvE


	19. Helter Skelter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone. You guys are awesome. Smut warning again.

Tension fills the air in the house like a thick fog. Brown and emerald eyes stay locked in a heated stare. Both girls are frozen across the living room challenging the other to move first. It reminds Ellie of the old western movies Joel makes her watch with him. _What did they call it? A duel? Or maybe it’s a drawl?_ Either way, that’s exactly how she feels eyeing her girlfriend down. Her legs were still a little wobbly from the couch incident so she’s glad it’s not the kind of standoff her life depends on like in the movies. Seconds feel like hours as Ellie tries to think of some way to fluster her girlfriend the same way she had been less than an hour ago.

“_You taste so fucking good_.”

The words spoken earlier in her ear making her burn for more. A burning inside that wants to unravel Dina as she had been earlier. Everything about the girl across the room turns her on. Pure confidence was something Ellie would never be able to understand. It was slightly intimidating because no matter how hard she tried to totally fluster and unravel her girlfriend, it seemed like she was always one step ahead. But the longer they had been dating the more Ellie had seen glimpses of a rattled Dina. They were always brief moments when Ellie took complete control of the situation. Even though the smaller girl put up a good front of poise and control, Ellie knew that part of her liked when she used her raw strength to overpower her. But you need confidence to do that and Ellie still doubted herself no matter how many times they slept together. On top of that, Dina was no pushover either. Always challenging and pushing the auburn-haired girl to the point she couldn’t think straight.

Overthinking would always be her biggest downfall. The annoying voice in her head would keep her from pushing herself to act more boldly. _She’s so out of your league. You’re just going to embarrass yourself. _

Ellie quickly pulls herself back to the present to keep from spiraling in degrading thoughts. Her eyes focus on her girlfriend standing across the room and a sinful smirk sprawls across her face as her mind is consumed with nothing but thoughts of her. Leggings accentuate delicious curves that are slightly hidden by the t-shirt hanging off her small frame. The stretched-out neck reveals perfectly sculpted collarbones. Emerald eyes shamelessly roam her girlfriend’s body, drinking in every feature.

_I can do this. Just be confident. She likes you. She wants you. Just do it. One step at a time. _

Warmth spreads through every nerve in her body as she tries to draw some self-confidence from the lust rising within. Finally, her feet cooperate and she walks slowly towards her girlfriend. Strong arms wrap around a thin waist and pull her close. Dina instinctively wraps around Ellie’s neck and a sweet flashback of the first night they kissed at the dance runs through her head. A soft smile pulls on the taller girl’s lips.

Dina looks up and her previously darkened features soften at the sight of her girlfriend’s sweet smile. The sexual tension between them resides momentarily. “What ya thinking about Williams?” she teases with a sugary voice.

“Just thinking about the night at the dance and…” the taller girl trails off shyly.

Soft fingers push a stubborn piece of auburn hair behind Ellie’s ear and slide slowly down to rest against her neck. “And?”

_Just do it! Don’t back out now! Do it, you motherfucker!_

Ellie’s features darken with lust as strong hands tighten their grip on Dina’s waist and pull her closer. The sudden full-body contact draws a soft gasp from the short girl’s lips and that’s all the encouragement Ellie needs.

“And how bad I wanted to fuck you that night,” she growls. Her eyes are dangerously dark as she looks down at her girlfriend with nothing but pure desire.

“Fuck, El,” Dina breathes out almost inaudibly. Her eyes widen and for half a second she seems rattled but quickly smirks back at her girlfriend.

The sexual tension comes crashing back down with a force that threatens to crumble the walls around them. A ripple of excitement runs through Ellie at the way her words had tripped up Dina, even if for only a second. _I can do this. I can do this._

“And why didn’t you?” the smaller girl challenges.

“Didn’t think you could handle it.”

“Well, I can handle it now.”

Their faces stay barely inches away from each other. Each word spoken sends hot breath to the other's lips. She’s good at this game. Very good. But Ellie stays true to her plan and doesn’t give in as much as she wants to.

Ellie leans down to whisper in the smaller girl’s ear. “That may be true…. but I’m not sure you deserve it.” She quickly leans back to get the reaction to her words hoping it comes across as hot and not weird. The look of pure lust and whimper she gets in return boosts her ego in a way she wasn’t sure was possible. Riding that feeling, Ellie lets herself be consumed in desire.

Strong arms slam Dina into the wall a few feet behind her and pin her wrists above her head. Ellie crashes her lips into her girlfriend’s and kisses her with all the fire that’s burning her up inside. Dina groans against her lips. She kisses her girlfriend harder and harder; hands tighten their grip on small wrists. Ellie moves Dina’s hands close enough so that one strong hand can continue to keep them pinned and the other is free to roam. Roughly, she feels up her girlfriend, grabbing and touching every inch. The beautiful girl comes apart before her very eyes. Ellie teasingly keeps her lower body just far enough away that when Dina arches off the wall for the contact that she craves it’s just out of reach. A frustrated groan passes between their lips and it only bolsters the taller girl’s confidence. The heat between them continues to rise when Ellie lets her tongue explore her girlfriend’s mouth in an agonizingly slow manner. Getting drunk off the sweet taste of Dina, the auburn-haired girl begins to slip into lust and the hold on Dina’s wrists loosens gradually. Feeling herself starting to give in, Ellie quickly pulls herself back together and tries to think of another way to disarm her girlfriend. A lightbulb goes off in her slightly hazy brain. Strong hands momentarily release the arms she has pinned against the wall and rip the blue long-sleeve shirt up and overhead to be tossed across the room. Brown eye widen, lustfully taking in ripped arms and shoulders. Dina practically drools over the toned abs that splay out under her sports bra. Warmth ripples throughout Ellie’s body at the way her girlfriend drinks her in shamelessly.

Dina finally snaps from the sexual spell she’s under and her hands automatically go to pull her shirt off in hopes to even the playing field. But before she can even get it over her stomach, a strong force rips her hands from her shirt and again they’re pinned against the wall above her head.

“Did I say you could do that?” Ellie rumbles in Dina’s ear. Part of her mind is surprised at her own voice. The other part is thrilled at the deep moan she gets in response. It ramps up the feeling of wanting to dominate her girlfriend in every way. To break down every wall and make her crumble with lust. The thought electrifies her toned body and fuels the drive to push herself further.

“Fuck, where did this come from?” Dina gasps, trying to regain control of her breathing.

Emerald eyes burn into brown ones only to find lustful excitement and something that she’s only seen a few times in the five years she’s known Dina. Vulnerability. And it turns Ellie on to no end.

Trying to think of a sly comeback, she decides to use actions instead of words. Lips brush Dina’s so teasingly it almost hurts. They ghost down to a delectable neck and bite hard. Hard enough to make her girlfriend cry out. Small hands desperately try to get free from their prison, wanting to feel the muscular arms holding her prisoner. Teeth trail lower, sinking into the warm skin beneath them. It would definitely leave hickeys tomorrow but Ellie secretly liked knowing they were something only she got to give Dina. A reminder of the sinful actions from the night before.

“Please, Ellie,” the beautiful girl pleads loudly.

The sound of begging electrifies the taller girl. _Fuck that is so hot. I want more. I need more._ Ellie releases the wrists that hand been trapped beneath her calloused hands and they fly down to grip solid arms. She lets Dina feel her half-naked body momentarily before she pulls her girlfriend's shirt off with the desire to see more. Ellie only allows herself a few seconds to let her eyes roam, knowing it would give Dina all the power she had worked hard to earn if she lingers too long.

Ellie quickly lowers herself to wrap strong arms around the back of her girlfriend’s legs. Instinctively, Dina jumps up and wraps around Ellie ready to continue down this exciting path. Having Joel walk in on them would probably be the worst thing she could imagine so Ellie carries Dina to her room so they can continue their heated encounter. They kiss passionately as the taller girl makes her way to her room. It was honestly a miracle that they made it up the stairs in one piece. Neither wanting to break the connection of their lips, they fumble and trip multiple times. Giggles pass between them momentarily until they get to the room. The door shuts behind them and Dina is crashed back into it. Ellie continues to kiss her girlfriend until she almost passes out from lack of oxygen. Breaking away, she moves back down to the soft skin under her jawline. Dina’s heels dig into her lower back as moans echo throughout the room. It was thrilling to hear how different actions would bring out high-pitched moans, or low groans, or hitches in her breath. Every sound left Ellie wanting more. She’d kiss different places on warm skin or vary the amount of force in her bites just to see what sound each would produce. Like a game that only she was aware of even if she wasn’t the only player.

Dina climbs up Ellie just enough to give herself room to remove her bra. Perfect breasts hang directly in her line of sight and Ellie suddenly feels weak. Pushing herself to remember the true goal, she lets her lips travel slowly down Dina’s sternum. She presses her girlfriend harder into the door as she moves down to hardened peaks. Soft hands dive into a sea of auburn hair. Swiping slowly over a nipple, Ellie allows herself to look up at her girlfriend. Head thrown back, moans escaping soft lips loudly, it’s the most beautiful thing she’s seen in her nineteen years on this earth. Then her eyes zero in on all the bright red splotches and teeth marks on Dina’s neck. Some are big, some small, some are a deep red while others are a soft pink. _She’s going to fucking kill me tomorrow. I hope we don’t see Joel._ _Some of those will be there for days, maybe a week. I’m dead. _

The feeling of Dina grinding her lower half into Ellie’s midsection pulls the auburn-haired girl from her slight panic. She could feel the small girl trying to desperately take back some control as her craving for more grew. It sent waves of excitement through Ellie as she planned out her next moves while she finished giving attention to lovely breasts.

In one smooth movement, a lot smoother than she thought possible, Ellie dropped Dina to the ground and turned her to face the door before pressing all of her weight against her. Pinned flush against the door, Ellie can feel Dina’s breathing pick up to a high pace from the unexpected positioning. The tall girl ghosts her lips over a soft shoulder, all the way up the back of her neck and behind Dina’s ear. Emerald eyes take in the trail of goosebumps that follow where her lips have been.

“Ellie, you’re killing me,” Dina whines and reaches back to pull auburn hair tight in her fist. 

“Good,” Ellie growls deeply in her ear. Still shocked by her own confidence, she lets her hips press harder against her girlfriend’s ass which pulls groans from both girls. Everything begins to become too much to withhold. A pure animalistic feeling crashes down over Ellie and it’s too strong to ignore. Strong hands rip Dina’s leggings down enough to give her the access she needs. It takes everything within Ellie to keep from completely destroying her girlfriend right there. The wetness she feels as her fingers move forcefully between her legs pulls a grumble from deep in Ellie’s throat. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she had still doubted her decision to fully take charge, but the wet heat that is practically dripping from her girlfriend lets her know it was the right choice. Teasingly, Ellie lets her fingers glide against soak folds and over her aching bud. They trace around her opening before moving away to tease somewhere else.

“Fuck Ellie please,” Dina gasps out so loud it shocks Ellie at how desperate her voice sounds. The begging again strikes the primal feeling slowly consuming her mind and body.

“Please what?” she whispers lustfully.

“I need…. please,” the smaller girl barely chokes out, her brain seemed unable to put words into complete sentences.

This is usually when Ellie would give in but a desire for more begging and pleading pushes her past the pure physical need to get to what she desperately wants more of. “Please what?” she commands more forcefully.

“Please fuck me, Ellie. I need it. I need you.”

Dina’s voice is laced with desire, panic, lust, and pure desperation. She’d done it. Dina was solely under her control to the fullest extent. Ellie felt like she should get an award or something. Not only had she kept her inner voice from putting her down, but she had managed to not give in to her girlfriend’s numerous attempts to distract and bend her to her own will. A victorious smile paints her face as she gloats at her accomplishment silently. _Damn, look at me now. I knew I could do it. Fuck you inner voice. I fucking did that. _

“Ellie!” Dina cries out in pure need.

The taller girl silently scolds herself for indulging in her victory too early. She may have won this war but she still had a job to do. Two strong fingers push deep inside her wet heat in one hard motion. Dina gasps loudly at the unexpected motion but quickly pushes back against her girlfriend, wanting more. Primal lust drowns both girls as Ellie continues to fuck Dina roughly against the door. The arm reaching back to grip auburn hair continues to pull Ellie’s face closer, wanting the contact. Soft lips kiss and bite the back of her sweat slicken neck. Fingernails dig into Ellie’s scalp and when strong fingers hit a particularly good spot inside her core, Dina cries out and absent-mindedly scratches down the face of the taller girl out of pure lust before slamming her hand against the door for support. 

A stinging pain burns in the red-hot trail left down Ellie’s face. She grunts at the lingering pain but it quickly subsides as she gets lost in the sounds her girlfriend is making. Loud enough that Ellie is glad they don’t have super close neighbors. She pushes deeper into Dina, letting her hips move in the same rhythm as her hand against the small girl’s backside. Part of her wanted to flip Dina around so she could watch her beautiful face as she exploded with pleasure but her girlfriend’s legs were already shaking indicating she was close. Instead, Ellie has mercy on her and just continues the strong, steady motions. Pushing against her harder sends Dina over the edge with a strangled scream. Strong fingers continue to thrust commandingly as the smaller girl rides out her orgasm and eventually slows down before pulling out of her pulsing core.

Loud pants fill the room that is dimly lit by moonlight. Both girls take a few moments to catch their breath. Ellie’s heart thuds loudly in her chest. Dina stays facing the door and lets her head rest against it, still panting loudly.

“Fuck Williams, where did that come from?” she breathes out as she turns to wrap small arms behind Ellie’s head. Dina’s small frame shakes from the pleasure that had just hit her like a truck. A smirk forms on the taller girl’s lips as she feels the weakened girl lean against her for support.

“Good huh?” Ellie chuckles.

“More than good.”

“Are you sure?”

“If you want me to praise your sex skills can we at least lay down first? You wore me out, Williams.”

Freckled cheeks turn red at the teasing. All of the confidence derived from lust had drained completely out of Ellie. She was back to her normal shy, awkward self and Dina was back to her poised, confident self. A goofy smile spreads across her face as she picks Dina up and carefully lays her down onto the bed. The small girl kicks her leggings off as Ellie takes off her remaining clothing and slips under the covers. Dina pulls her close and they cuddle, wanting the warm contact.

“So, are you gonna praise my sex skills now or later?” Ellie teases as she turns to face the beautiful girl.

“Honestly, that was the best sex I’ve ever had,” Dina states bluntly. No usual signs of teasing on her moonlit face.

Expecting a snarky comment back, emerald eyes widen in shock before rolling with exaggeration. “Yeah, right,” Ellie scoffs. “You’re just saying that cause you have to.”

“I’m serious. It was fucking good Ellie. The way you got all… commanding and aggressive….” Ellie feels a chill vibrate from her girlfriend. “…. I have never wanted you more.”

The vulnerability and sincerity in Dina’s voice astonishes Ellie. She smiles and kisses soft lips with all the love she feels for her girlfriend. Pulling her close, she nuzzles into her neck and gets drowned in her lavender scent. Ellie had never felt more at home.

“I’ll have to get you worked up more often,” Dina giggles.

Ellie feels the vibration of her amusement against her face and the happiness swelling inside makes her giggle too. 

“I love you, El,” Dina breathes out in a sweet but tired voice.

“I love you too.”

Within seconds both girls are fast asleep in each other’s arms.

***

“What the hell happened to you?!”

Dina’s shrill voice rips Ellie from her light sleep. Panic sets in as she searches her surroundings for clarity. Realizing she’s safe in her bed, the auburn-haired girl breathes a sigh of relief before turning to her girlfriend in annoyance. “Jesus, you scared the shit out of me. What is your problem?” A soft hand reaches out silently and brushes from her forehead, over an emerald eye, and down a freckled cheek. 

A painful stinging sensation follows the path of Dina’s fingers and Ellie quickly flinches away. “Ow,” she growls. Confused by the discomfort on her face, Ellie suddenly recalls the lustful way Dina had scratched her in the heat of the moment. “Does it look bad?” she wonders aloud, trying to think of an excuse for her face. The truth would not be the story she told.

“It’s definitely red,” Dina mumbles as she continues to gape at the wound. “Does it hurt?”

“Well considering you almost scratched my eye out, I guess it could be worse,” Ellie teases.

The small girl’s cheeks tint a soft pink. “I’m sorry,” she whispers sincerely.

“Don’t be. But you're going to have to help me figure out some way to explain this to Joel. He should be back from watch soon.” _God, I’ll die from embarrassment if he finds out what they are really from. Maybe we can lie our way out of it. Yeah, I’m sure it’ll be okay._ Feeling a little better, Ellie lovingly watches her girlfriend raise up to stretch. As she tilts her beautiful head to the side, a drape of black hair falls off her shoulder to reveal dark purple hickeys covering a good majority of her neck_. We’re fucked. _

Panic sweeps over Ellie’s mind as she watches Dina dress and move to head downstairs to use the bathroom. Ellie wants to warn her but her mouth stays clamped shut, too scared to say anything. She savors the sweet kiss that’s placed on her chapped lips before Dina leaves, knowing there won’t be any in the foreseeable future. Ellie stays silent and winces at the sharp gasp that can be heard from all the way downstairs.

“ELLIE WILLIAMS GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE!”

_Maybe I should just kill myself now. It will be a lot less painful. _

Ellie slowly drags herself out of bed and slips her boxers and a slightly dirty t-shirt on. She takes her time walking down the hall and goes down the stairs one step at a time, like a dog that knows it’s in trouble. Hanging her head, she finally makes it to the bathroom doorway. Emerald eyes stay glued to the floor.

“Are you kidding me, Ellie? How am I supposed to explain this?”

Ellie finally looks up to see dark brown eyes glaring daggers at her. The bright light of the bathroom allows her to fully see the damage she had done. Dina’s neck looked ten times worse in actual lighting.

“It looks like I almost got choked to death, Ellie!”

“I’m sorry! I was just caught up in the moment!” The taller girl tries to defend her actions but it crumbles quickly.

“Well Jesus, did you have to rip my throat out?”

“Hey! You almost scratched my eye out! It’s not like this is easily explainable either,” Ellie retaliates and points to the four red lines that run the length of her face.

“Easier than hickeys! No one is going to believe anything else, at least you can try to lie. And I have to have dinner with my mom tomorrow!” The realization seems to only add to Dina’s panic. They continue to bicker about whose sex wounds are worse until Ellie finally gives in.

“I’m sorry, okay?”

Dina seems to analyze her apology for sincerity before finally breathing in deeply and sighing. “I like when you’re rough, but please next time don’t make me look like a victim of abuse. Okay?”

Ellie smiles sweetly and nods her answer. Small arms wrap around Ellie’s neck and a quick kiss is placed on her lips. _That could have been a lot worse. Now we just need to think of an excuse before Joel… _

Emerald and brown eyes widen in pure horror at the sound of the front door opening. Neither had even begun to think of an alibi. Both girls stand frozen unsure what to do.

_Fuck._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I felt like this song, while not directly in the writing, shared the same intensity as the chapter. Here's the link! 
> 
> https://youtu.be/vWW2SzoAXMo


	20. I Want To Hold Your Hand

A crisp winter breeze bites at Ellie’s face as she patrols the perimeter of Jackson. The chill seems to seep through even her warmest jacket. This was her seventh lap around the wall today. She had taken a double shift of perimeter patrol after the disaster that was yesterday morning. As clever and quick as Dina usually was, there was no explaining the scratches across Ellie’s face and the hickeys that covered every inch of her own neck. On top of that, they had forgotten to pick up their shirts which had been thrown across the living room in the heat of the moment the night before. The scene was like a train wreck that Joel couldn’t avoid even if he wanted to. From the deadpan look on his face and the way he hurriedly went to bed without breakfast, he definitely wanted to avoid it. Almost as much as Ellie. Never had she felt so embarrassed, every part of her was red as she stood too terrified to move. Even Dina’s lightly freckled cheeks were tinted red as Joel walked by and went straight to his room. So even though it felt like she was seconds from freezing her fingers and toes off, it was much better than having to be within a one-mile radius of Joel.

Snow crunches softly under her boots as she passes one of her favorite places to be during the summer. The small lake sits about five-hundred yards from Jackson’s wall. Frozen solid from the harsh winter, Ellie walks to the edge and looks at her reflection in the ice. A guilty smile pulls on her lips at the four prominent scratches that run the length of her face. Wishing her girlfriend was keeping her warm on this bitterly cold patrol. The need for warmth, the beautiful lake, and the longing for Dina pull back a sweet memory from the recesses of her frozen mind.

***

“Dina… I’m not sure… maybe we should wait till… uhh…. The middle of summer because, you know the water will be warmer and stuff,” Ellie anxiously rambles trying to get out of the terrifying situation she is in.

“I promised Joel I’d teach you to swim before you turn sixteen and we only have a few weeks left. No backing out this time!”

Ripples of fear run through Ellie’s body as she looks down at her reflection in the shallows of the lake. As hard as she tries, her face shows all the panic she feels. Dina’s beautiful reflection suddenly appears beside hers. A soft hand wraps around her shoulders sending a calming but also exciting rush through her brain. Turning to look at her friend, Ellie’s stomach flutters at how close their faces are. Quickly, she shuts the feelings down and looks away shyly.

They had been friends almost since the day Joel and Ellie had walked though Jackson’s gates. Dina immediately made it her personal mission to break down Ellie’s walls. Pestering the shy girl to open up and hang out with her at every opportunity. Not that Ellie minded. Dina was one of the most beautiful girls she had ever seen. Her confident and sweet personality quickly pulled Ellie in and they never parted. It took Joel a while to warm up to Dina, but eventually, she was allowed to come to their house as she pleased. The auburn-haired girl constantly scolded herself for getting these feelings of excitement and warmth when Dina was around but she settled with just ignoring or pushing them deep down inside.

“Come on Williams, I promise it will be okay,” Dina states confidently as she begins to undress.

Ellie’s mouth goes dry. Emerald eyes widen in panic as she watches Dina strip down to her underwear and bra. Trying not to stare, she glues her eyes to the ground as her face begins to turn red.

_Be cool Ellie. She has to undress to swim. Stop being a pervert. She’s your best friend. _

Lost in her thoughts, Ellie doesn’t look up until a soft hand pulls her chin up and she’s staring into big brown eyes.

Mistaking Ellie’s embarrassment as fear, Dina tries to reassure her more. “I won’t let anything happen to you, okay?”

Taking a big gulp, emerald eyes stay glued to brown ones, afraid to be caught wandering anywhere else. “Okay,” she squeaks out and slips her t-shirt over her head. Ellie decides to leave her basketball shorts on and she stays frozen at the edge of the lake. Dina whistles at her upper body clad in only her sports bra.

Ellie feels herself turn an even darker shade of red. “Oh, shut up asshole,” she gripes. The soft giggles that ring in her ear slightly calm her tense body.

“We’re gonna take it slow. You tell me what you’re comfortable with and we’ll go step by step okay?”

Ellie can only nod as fear suddenly paralyzes her body. Flashbacks of spiraling underwater in Salt Lake City and jumping from the bridge in Pittsburgh torment her mind. Ice runs through her veins as she looks out into the water.

“Let’s just take a step in.”

Ellie watches as Dina wades into the lake and moves directly in front of her.

“I want to hold your hand.”

Ellie freezes at the suggestion.

Seeing the distress in her friend, Dina explains, “So, I can pull you up if I need to.”

_Oh, right. Duh._

Small hands stretch out offering support. Ellie takes them and slowly walks into the water. The chilly water makes her breath hitch loudly, alerting her friend.

“Are you okay?” Dina questions worriedly. She tightens her grip on calloused hands.

“Just cold,” Ellie mumbles, still petrified as she watches the water splash around her ankles. When she finally looks up, she sees nothing but pure concern in Dina’s eyes. It calms her, knowing how much she cares. The water begins to feel better after a few minutes and Ellie pushes herself to continue. “Okay, let’s keep going.”

“We’ll move up to our waist and then take a break okay?” Strong hands tighten around soft ones as they begin to move deeper. “I won’t let go. I promise.”

The words of conformation melt the taller girl. Part of her had been nervous that Dina would tease her the whole time. It was just something they both did constantly. But so far, she had been nothing but caring. Butterflies flutter inside Ellie and she almost forgets that one of her worst fears is slowly rising higher, engulfing her body. As promised, Dina stops when the water hits right above their waists. Brown eyes search for signs of discomfort or panic. 

“You’re doing better than I thought you would,” Dina states happily.

“Thanks,” Ellie retorts sarcastically and rolls her eyes. Her mind begins to fill with the warmth that radiates between their hands and the fact that her friend is shirtless. Quickly, she begins to count the leaves on a tree to right. Distraction was always the best defense for her hormone raging mind.

“Ready to move to shoulders?”

Taking away the temptation of letting her eyes roam sounds like the best idea she’s ever heard. “Sure.”

The water consumes them till only their heads bob above the dark water. The fear gradually decreases the longer they stand. The sand from the lake bed feels soft beneath her feet. Starting to become brave, Ellie leans back into the water and brings her feet up in an attempt to semi-float while still firmly gripping Dina’s hands. A wide smile sprawls across her face at the accomplishment. As she puts one foot back down to stand again, it slips on the sand and suddenly she’s completely underwater. Water rushes up her noses as she struggles to breach the surface. Pure terror grips her as she thrashes and claws for help.

As quick as she under, a surprisingly strong force pulls her back above the surface. Ellie wraps tightly around her friend as she coughs and sputters out the water burning her nose and throat. Nails dig into Dina’s shoulder blades and toned legs entrap her waist.

“Holy shit Ellie, are you okay? What happened?” Dina questions worriedly as she evaluates the damage.

“I slipped, I’m sorry,” Ellie chokes out. Her body shakes with fear as the adrenaline pulses through her veins. Moments pass before either girl speaks.

“Hey, El? You’re choking me a little,” Dina chuckles through a restricted voice.

The taller girl snaps back to the present to the realization that she’s wrapped around Dina like a monkey on a tree. Red paints her face and she loosens her death grip from around her neck. “Sorry,” she mumbles.

“No, it’s okay. I can hold you till you feel comfortable again, but if I get choked out were both drowning out her.” Small arms encircle Ellie’s waist underwater to give support and pull her closer.

The auburn-haired girl lights on fire. The feeling of Dina’s almost naked body pressed flush against her skin is almost too much to handle. As much as she knows she should remove herself, the contact is so exciting and warm she hesitates, taking in the feeling.

_You’ll definitely be thinking about this later tonight. Pervert. Stop. She is your friend! You can’t feel this way. She’s just trying to help and you’re being weird. But it feels so good to be this close. Shut up. Jesus Christ. Pull it together. _

The inner battle rages loudly in her mind and Ellie feels more flustered than when she almost drowned a few minutes ago. Heat burns her face and ears.

“Hey don’t be embarrassed. I know it’s scary. We will keep trying okay?”

Dina’s words of misguided encouragement snap Ellie from her own mind. “Uhm… okay.” The auburn-haired girl looks at the beautiful face inches from hers. Usually, black curly hair is flat against her face and head from the water that Ellie had mostly likely splashed her with. Light freckles pepper her cheeks and nose. Dark brown eyes stare deeply into her seeming to try to understand what goes on inside her mind. Ellie slips up and glances down at plump lips for half a second before looking back into the eyes that are trying to infiltrate her thoughts. Every part of Ellie longs to kiss her. A pain of guilt and sadness ripples through her body. The last time she felt this way was at the mall with Riley. Ellie quickly looks away and untangles herself from Dina’s body. She retreats into the memories of Riley and a silence falls over the lake.

Small hands reach back out and take calloused ones underwater and squeeze gently. Emerald eyes look up to see understanding and care written on her friend’s face. Strong hands squeeze back and give a soft smile in return.

“Let’s talk about something to get your mind off this for a minute before we try again,” Dina suggests.

Thankful for her friend’s ability to know she was dealing with something, Ellie smiles and takes a deep breath trying to push her mess of feelings for Riley and Dina somewhere far away. “Sure.”

“Hmm. What is the most distracting topic that I can think of?” The beautiful girl ponders momentarily until her eyes widen with excitement. “Boys! I love distracting myself with boys,” she states proudly with a giggle.

_Jesus Christ. This could not be any worse. _

“So, I think Jesse is pretty hot, but Wyatt is sweet and nice…”

Ellie drifts off as Dina rambles about every boy in Jackson. Listening to the pros and cons of each makes her want to die. Instead, she allows her mind to remember the days she spent with Riley at military school. How pretty and kind she is. Was. _I miss her so much._

“Who do you like, Ellie?”

Hearing her name rips her back to the present. “Huh?”

“Who do you like?” Dina questions with burning brown eyes.

Emerald eyes again take in every beautiful feature of Dina’s face. The way her small hands fit in Ellie’s perfectly. _You._ “No one,” she mumbles and looks away. Anger, sadness, and fear roll her stomach until she feels like throwing up.

“Oh, come on! There’s not one guy here that has caught your eye for even a second?”

“No,” Ellie states coldly. She knows Dina is just trying to help, but everything becomes too much.

“Well, I can talk to Jacob for you. I heard he’s been asking about you,” Dina giggles with a wink.

Anger begins to swell in the pit of the taller girl’s stomach. She does everything to suppress it before she lashes out. “No.”

“Ugh… how will you know if you’re soulmates if you don’t even give him a chance?”

“I just know.”

“But how?” Dina continues her interrogation, not giving up on the suggestion. The more she questions the more frustration and anger builds inside Ellie until she explodes.

“Because I don’t like boys okay!? Jesus Christ!” Ellie shouts louder than she means to.

Emerald eyes widen in horror. Panic grips her body and it is not because of the water this time. _Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. You idiot! You make one friend, a good friend, and now you’ve ruined it._

Calloused hands pull away from Dina’s and her eyes stay glued to the water. Too scared to look at the smaller girl’s reaction to her outburst, Ellie takes a retreating step back towards the shore. Every thought in her brain tells her to run home and never look back. To caught up in her escape plan, Ellie barely notices the small hands that reach back out to take hers. It’s not until the renewed warmth of the contact seeps through her rough palms that she freezes. Slowly, she looks up to see nothing but pure compassion in Dina’s eyes. Still scared, Ellie stays mute and tries to calm her mind.

“Oh, Ellie.” A sweet smile pulls on Dina’s lips and her voice is warm and assuring. “Why didn’t you tell me? I never would have teased you about Jacob if I’d know.”

Dina’s thumb grazes lightly over her knuckles underwater. The feeling short-circuits her brain momentarily. “I just… I don’t know…. I thought you wouldn’t want to be my friend anymore or that it was weird… I don’t know…”

“Ellie, you’re my best friend.”

Shock and happiness light the taller girl from head to toe. She searches for signs of deception but finds none.

“I would never leave you over something as simple as who you want to bang.”

“Oh, shut up!” Ellie yelps and splashes at her friend. Crimson paints her face at the comment. They laugh loudly and continue to drench each other with lake water. Relief washes over her with each splash and suddenly everything feels okay again.

“So, let’s start over. What lovely lady has caught the eye of Ellie Williams?”

_Shit. I thought we had moved past this._ “Uhh… no one really,” she lies hoping Dina doesn’t see through it.

The smaller girl seems to search her eyes for any trace of misdirection. “Well, you’re in luck because I get around the gossip train and I heard that this girl used to have a girlfriend before she and her dad left Phoenix.”

“Who?” Ellie questions, her interests slightly peaked.

“Kat. She’s a little older than us, eighteen maybe. She’s the one that does tattoos for people. Short. Dirty blonde hair.”

Ellie had seen her around a few times in the short months she’d been in Jackson. She was pretty, but they had never spoken before. The new knowledge is stashed to the back of her mind for safekeeping.

“Yeah, I’ll keep that in mind,” Ellie smiles.

“Well any girl would be lucky to have you,” Dina whispers sincerely and pulls Ellie into a tight hug.

A flutter of excitement sparks the taller girl’s nerves but is quickly dismissed. Strong arms hug Dina back tightly. Ellie is just glad to still have her friend right now; the other feelings could be dealt with later.

“Now come on Williams, don’t think you’re going to get out of your swimming lesson,” Dina teases with a coy smile.

“Yes ma’am,” Ellie stands at attention and mock salutes sending them both into fits of laughter. Even though she jokes, Ellie knows she won’t be able to leave the lake until she’s unsinkable.

***

Ellie makes another three laps around the perimeter before her shift is over. The long walk to Dina’s house only adds to the aching she feels in her feet. The bitter cold had seeped into her bones by the time she pushes through the front door. The smell of food burning pulls a chuckle from frozen lips. Removing her jacket, Ellie strides into the kitchen eager to see her girlfriend.

“No dinner with your mom?” the taller girl chuckles and wraps tightly around the back of her girlfriend who is desperately trying to save whatever meat is burning on the stove. The taller girl drinks in the warmth that radiates from Dina, she buries her frozen face into the back of her neck.

“Jesus, Ellie!” Dina yelps and tries to wither away from the icy touch but strong arms keep her locked in place. After the initial shock wears off, the beautiful girl melts into her girlfriend. A hushed moan escapes her lips when she feels Ellie’s kissing the back of her neck softly.

Ellie grins against warm skin at the way her ministrations have rendered Dina momentarily defenseless. “Dinner with your mom?” she questions again between kisses.

“I…. told her…to umm… reschedule,” Dina finally breathes out. Her eyes closed as she takes in the felling of Ellie’s kisses.

“And why is that?” Ellie teases, knowing the answer.

Taking her pan off the stove, Dina turns in Ellie’s arms to face her with an annoyed expression. “Maybe because there are a thousand hickeys on my neck!”

“I could leave a thousand more if you’d like,” Ellie whispers seductively and pulls her girlfriend closer and continues her ministrations on the warm skin under her jawline.

“Ellie,” the smaller girl whimpers as she falls victim to the lust growing between them. Knowing how quickly they can get carried away, Dina pushes her girlfriend away. “We need to eat, horndog,” she giggles.

Emerald eyes take in every beautiful feature of her girlfriend. The memory at the lake flashes through her mind. _Who would have thought we’d end up together? Not me, that’s for sure. I’m so lucky. _

“I love you,” Ellie states firmly as if trying to prove a point.

Surprised by the sudden display affection, the smaller girl searches emerald eyes quizzically, before smilingly sweetly. “I love you too.”

Ellie spends the night choking down the dinner made for her without so much as a single complaint. Dealing with terrible food was more than worth it if it meant Dina would be hers. There wasn’t anything she wouldn’t endure for her. A soft smile pulls on her lips knowing her girlfriend would do the same for her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a fluff chapter with some history. I hope there is some flashbacks or parts about the beginnings of their friendship/relationship in the game. I'd personally love that. I'd love to hear what y'all think about it. Thanks for reading! 
> 
> https://youtu.be/jenWdylTtzs


	21. Got to Get You Into My Life

“Now this is going to be a little painful given the size and detail,” she warns Ellie with a sweet but skeptical voice. “We can take breaks whenever you need to. Okay?”

“I’ve dealt with worse. I’ll be okay,” the auburn-haired girl states firmly trying to keep a stoic demeanor. It wasn’t a lie. She’d been through hell and back, but something about the thought of having a needle puncture her skin over and over made her stomach roll briefly. The ocean blue eyes that stare into her reassure her decision. It hadn’t been easy convincing Joel to agree with the tattoo, but when she explained how it could be the second defense in hiding her bite mark, he reluctantly caved. Ellie hated the acid burn scar almost as much as the bite mark. The deep ridges and discoloration of her flesh made for a nasty looking spot. Joel assured her as the years passed it wouldn’t look as bad, but it still bothered her. Everyone had scars from the world they lived in but hers piqued people’s interest. Not being a simple knife, gun, or arrow wound made it a spectacle. The kids in Jackson liked to swap stories of their scars like they were something to be proud of and Ellie’s was always asked about first. The tattoo would not only be a cover for her past but a much cooler and easier party subject. A party is what had gotten her into this whole tattoo mess in the first place.

“Well, I think it’s going to look awesome when it’s done. Are you ready to get started? It’s going to take a while.”

Emerald eyes sweep over the sketch one last time. It amazed her at how someone could sketch something so beautiful. Drawing had never been Ellie’s strong suit. A memory of her and Riley’s attempts to draw things to decorate their room pulls a smile to her lips. The leaves stretch beneath the moth in a majestic manner. Every part of the sketch looks amazing in her eyes.

“I’m ready,” Ellie breathes out. For the first time since she had arrived, she takes in the features of the girl walking away to get sterilizing supplies. Long dirty blonde hair is pulled back in a low ponytail. A black t-shirt with a logo of a band Ellie had never heard of hangs off her small figure. Tight jeans hug curves in a complimenting manner as she searches for something around the room. Worn red converse sneakers are almost identical to the black ones Ellie wears. Her ivory skin is well tanned from the summer sun and it compliments her deep ocean blue eyes. Analyzing more, Ellie notices a small faded scar that cuts across the bridge of her nose. A strong jawline contrasts the soft feature of her face.

_Dina was right. She is pretty. Very pretty. _

A small flutter of butterflies moves in her stomach when the girl takes her arm in her soft hands. A sharp sting begins to ripple from her arm as the process begins. The pain dulls to a steady threshold and Ellie silently scolds herself for worrying so much.

The first hour passes by in a flash. Small talk fills the air over the droning of the tattoo gun. Ellie learns a lot about the small girl in that time period. She’s eighteen. Loves to draw and work with the horses in Jackson. Her and her dad came from Phoenix after getting separated from her brother and aunt. Hunters had overrun their compound leaving everyone to flee. Ellie hears the sadness in her voice and knows the pain of losing someone you care for all too well. The thought of not knowing what happened to them almost seems worse in a way.

“I’m sorry about your brother and aunt. But I’m glad you’re here now,” Ellie offers shyly. The smile she gets in return warms her freckled cheeks.

“Me too,” she whispers as she goes back to concentrating on outlining the leaves. “I’m glad Dina invited me to the party or we may never have gotten to do this.”

A small explosion goes off in Ellie’s mind. “Dina invited you?” she questions while trying to hide the complete surprise from lacing her words.

“Yeah, she cornered me at the stables and invited me. Parties aren’t really my thing but she wouldn’t take no for an answer so I just said what the hell and agreed.”

_Sounds familiar. _Ellie rolls her eyes and laughs. “Sounds like something she would do.”

“She also said you would be there.” The small girl pauses and seems to debate her words before continuing. “That you had been asking about me, so that sweetened the deal a little.” A flirtatious tone riddles her voice as she continues to work.

_I’m going to fucking kill her. Oh my God. Oh, my fucking God._

Ellie had never been so red in her life. Panic sweeps over her body as she tries to think of something, _anything_ to say. “Uhh… I uhm. I’m glad you uh came.” She stutters out finally. “I mean I wanted you to come because I wanted to um get to uh get to know you more. Because I’m still kinda new around here and umm you seemed… uhh cool?” The last part comes out as a question, only turning Ellie a deeper shade of red. The auburn-haired girl holds her breath waiting for a reply to her mess of word vomit.

_Jesus Christ. Why can’t I talk to girls? You are sixteen now Ellie, for fuck sakes pull it together. You’re embarrassing yourself. _

“Cool?” the blonde girl giggles with a smile.

“Not cool but…. I mean you are cool! But I uhm… nice?”

“Nice?” she laughs again at Ellie’s failed attempt to speak.

Taking a deep breath, Ellie calms her mind before speaking again. “What I am trying to say is…. I liked the first time we met at the stables and I wanted to see you again.” Defeated, she sighs loudly and accepts her fate as the worst communicator in the world. The warmth of a soft hand squeezing her outstretched calloused one pulls her from her defeated mind.

“I wanted to see you again too,” she states reassuringly before pulling her hand away to continue her work.

“Really?” Ellie questions eagerly before realizing how childish it sounds.

A soft giggle lights the room up. “Yes, really.”

Grinning widely, Ellie relaxes significantly. Everything suddenly feels more comfortable as they continue to talk and joke. Not as worried about sounding like a complete idiot, Ellie begins to speak more freely without analyzing every answer.

“Yeah, I’m sorry Dina forced me on you at the party to get a tattoo. She can be a little imposing sometimes,” Ellie laughs at the flashback.

“I’m glad she did,” the girl smiles sweetly. “So, you and Dina are friends?”

The question is laced with a tone that Ellie can’t quite pick up on. Her voice sounds to be asking something totally different but it goes right over the tall girl’s head.

“Yeah, she’s my best friend probably. Why?”

“I’ve just seen how close you two are and I didn’t want to disrupt something,” the blonde states bluntly.

Confusion riddles Ellie’s oblivious mind. “What do you mean?”

“I mean that if you guys have something together then I don’t want to get in between it.” Ocean eyes stay glued to Ellie’s forearm.

_What the hell is she talking about? Something together? Me and Dina have a friendship together, is that what she means? What would she be disrupting? Oh, shit._

Finally, it clicks. “We are just friends. There’s nothing to get in between or disrupt,” Ellie states firmly. An unexpected twinge of disappointment ripples through her mind at her own statement but is quickly dismissed.

A grin pulls on the blonde’s soft lips. “Well good. Cause I was hoping we could hang out more. If you want.”

Ellie’s heart begins to speed up at the thought. “Yes! I mean uhm yes, that’d be good.” _Jesus Christ._

Finally, the time comes for the blonde girl to tattoo over her scar. A film of sweat builds on Ellie’s brow as she silently prays the bite mark isn’t noticed. Her stomach does somersaults as soft fingers press down on the scarred skin to continue working.

“You need a break? You’re looking a little pale.”

The comment pulls Ellie from her mental panic. “No. I’m good,” she laughs nervously.

The auburn-haired girl’s breathing finally calms along with her heart rate as the section over her scar is finished up. A million pounds seem to lift off her chest at the avoided confrontation with the girl she is quickly growing fonder of. Something about her interested Ellie and made her want to learn more.

The sun had already set behind the horizon by the time Ellie’s tattoo is finished. Her arm is sore but the finished product makes it more than worth it.

“Holy shit this is awesome,” Ellie breathes out in awe as she inspects every detail inked into her arm.

“Are you sure you like it?”

“Are you kidding? This is so fucking cool!” The auburn-haired girl stands quickly to look at it in the mirror. Confidence swells as she examines the new addition to her body. “This is really good. Like amazing.”

The small girl strides over slowly to look in the mirror beside Ellie. “It does make you look pretty badass,” she smiles adoringly.

“Oh, yeah?” Ellie turns and the sudden closeness to the beautiful girl sucks the air from her lungs. She drowns in the ocean eyes that are locked on hers. The room becomes increasingly warm as the moment between the two girls continues.

“Yeah.”

Stuck in a trance, Ellie is frozen by the sudden intensity of the smaller girl’s gaze. Again, she takes in the girl’s beautiful features. The small scar that cuts across her nose. The sharp line of her jaw. The crystal blue eyes. The plump lips that smile up at her. _God, she’s pretty._

Maybe it was the new confidence stemming from her tattoo, or the intense connection she felt in the moment, but before she can stop herself, Ellie leans down and kisses the small girl. Electricity sparks her body as their lips connect. The kiss is sweet and short before Ellie pulls away when her mind catches up to her actions. Red blazes her cheeks and ears as her heart thumps loudly in her chest. Shyly, emerald eyes look to the floor. “I... uhm... thanks for the tattoo. It’s really good and awesome and beautiful….and um yeah,” Ellie laughs nervously, too scared to look anywhere but the ground.

A small hand reaches and squeezes her calloused one. The smile she looks up to see is breathtaking. “You’re welcome. It looks really good on you.” With the light of the day quickly fading, the beautiful girl walks Ellie to the door as she leaves.

“Thanks again. I really love it.”

“No problem. Let me know if you want anymore.”

Before the taller girl moves to leave, soft lips peck hers sweetly. Excited and surprised by the kiss, emerald eyes widen and freckled cheeks tint a soft pink.

“Can I see you tomorrow?” she asks in a sweet and velvety voice.

“That'd be awesome.” Ellie winces again at her awful ability to respond. A cute giggle calms her nerves.

Soft smiles serve as a goodnight and Ellie heads out into the night feeling on top of the world. Her feet barely touch the ground as she sprints to tell Dina about her eventful night. Ellie can already hear her smug “I told you so” ringing in her ear.

***

A smile crosses Ellie’s face at the memory as she traces the details of her tattoo that peek out from her rolled sleeve_. Funny how things ended up._ Part of her hoped she was doing okay. Ellie had been devastated when she left with her dad to go back to Phoenix, hoping to find her aunt and brother. Even though they had only been together for a few months, it was hard to watch her leave.

“Are you ready handsome?”

The sweet voice pulls Ellie to the present. Emerald eyes widen at the beauty of the girl striding across the room. A flowy red dress hugs her curves in all the right places and a light jean jacket covers her thin arms and shoulders. Curly black hair cascades over her shoulders like a dark waterfall.

“Damn,” Ellie breathes out without thinking. Her mind too distracted to sensor herself.

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” Dina giggles and kisses her girlfriend sweetly. Soft hands straighten the green flannel collar that has popped up on the left side. “Now you can’t be staring at me like that when we eat dinner with my mom.”

“Like what?” Ellie protests, savoring the feeling of the smaller girl’s hands sliding down the front of her flannel. 

“Like your thinking of ripping my dress off and taking me right here, right now. Sound about right?”

Freckled cheeks blush uncontrollably. “I…uhm.,” she nervously chuckles and looks away shyly.

“That’s what I thought,” Dina deadpans. She had guilted Ellie into going to dinner with her because “if I have to see my mom with hickeys so do you.” It had been almost a week since their heated night but some of the darkest bruises still persisted. Ellie’s scratches had healed much quicker.

“Now come on. We can’t be late.” Dina pulls a calloused hand and they head out into the unusually warm February air.

***

“I got four people approaching the gate. Seem like friendlies. Stand by.”

“Standing by,” Jesse radios back to the gate watchmen. The night is quiet and calm. Ellie had asked to trade shifts so she could go to dinner with Dina and her mom. He’d take night shift over the morning one any day so he agreed to swap without hesitation.

People came in and out of Jackson regularly. Most looking for shelter from the cruel world outside the walls. Some stayed but most moved on to wherever they were heading to.

“Jesse get down here. Need help checking them in.”

“Coming.” Quickly, he climbs down the west tower and heads to the gate. Luke is already patting down one of the men when he arrives. The group is two men and two women. All look tired and slightly wounded from what he can see in the dim lighting. Knowing what to do, he takes the knife and gun from the older looking woman and pats her down, feeling for hidden weapons. Finding nothing, Jesse moves to the younger girl. She hands over a pistol and two knives without speaking. As he begins to pat her down, a vaguely familiar but hoarse voice rumbles from her throat.

“Jesse?”

“Kat?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everybody! I know it's been a while but school started back and work is kicking my ass. But here it is! Finally! She's back lol. I know a lot of y'all asked about Kat so I'd love to hear from you guys! Here's the link to this fucking jam. 
> 
> https://youtu.be/r95-7zfgtLw


	22. I've Just Seen a Face

A warm breeze blows through the dusky sky as Dina and Ellie walk hand in hand to their dinner. The closer they get the more nervous Ellie feels. She’d had dinner with Dina’s mom a million times before but something was different this time. This was the first time since Dina had become her girlfriend and a part of Ellie wanted to show her mom that she could care and love her daughter as she deserved. She already had her work cut out for her given the faint but still visible hickeys littering the soft skin of her neck.

_Yeah, you’re a real idiot. Trying to impress her mom and you bring her home looking like she’s been manhandled. Real smooth, Ellie. _

“Why are your hands so sweaty?” Dina questions with a concerned tone.

“I just…I don’t know?”

The small girl abruptly stops walking and turns to face her girlfriend. Dark eyes are filled with confusion and a hint of worry. “What is wrong?”

The pure beauty of her girlfriend momentarily knocks the breath out of Ellie. The light freckles that form constellations across her face. The sea of dark hair that has been released from its usual bun so that it flows with every movement. Her dark eyes that search for some sort of answer. Everything is almost too much.

“I just want her to like me,” Ellie sighs.

Beautiful features scrunch in confusion. “She already loves you? You’ve been my best friend forever?”

“I know I just…,” The words she wants to say escape her mind as usual. Dina waits patiently as she searches for the right words and it only makes her heart swell with the love she feels. “… I know she likes me as your friend, but I want her to like me as your girlfriend too. I don’t know… I just want her to know I can take care of you and love you. If that’s what you want. But I’m just… worried.” Ellie’s voice trails off as she looks away shyly. Heat burns her cheeks at the affectionate words that had spilled out of her mouth.

“Oh, Ellie,” Dina whispers in a voice laced with admiration. A soft hand guides the taller girl’s face to match her own and rests on a blushed, freckled cheek. “She’s going to love you because I love you and you make me happy. That’s all that matters to her okay?”

“Really?”

“Yes, really. I promise.” Dina tucks a strand of auburn hair behind Ellie’s ear. Leaning up slightly, she places a soft but reassuring kiss on chapped lips.

Every worry melts away when soft lips press against her. Ellie thanks whatever supreme being that let her have this girl as her own. Strong hands grip a small waist and pull Dina closer. She kisses her with all the love, desire, and affection she feels at this moment. A soft moan rattles from the smaller girl taking Ellie by surprise. Dina wasn’t one to lose her composure so easily. The taller girl leans back with a smirk crossing her face and a raised scarred eyebrow. 

“You can’t kiss me like that when you look this handsome,” Dina purrs in a seductive tone. Her fingers slide up the soft fabric of Ellie’s flannel sending ripples of heat through the auburn-haired girl. “It’s almost too tempting.”

“Oh, is that right?” Ellie teases, basking in the affection.

“You know how I feel about that flannel.” The dark tone of her girlfriend’s voice and the look in her eyes make Ellie’s knees weak.

They walk the rest of the way to their destination and the nerves begin to build again. Dina squeezes a calloused hand reassuringly before she knocks lightly on the door. Light rustling can be heard for a few seconds before the front door swings open and a wonderful smell wafts into the open air. No matter how many times she sees Dina’s mom it still amazes her at how similar they look. The same black curly hair and dark eyes, slightly aged but still stunning.

“Well, you guys are all dressed up! I’m sorry I didn’t get the memo,” she laughs with a crinkled smile. It’s obvious where Dina gets her bubbly personality. “Ellie, I haven’t seen you in forever!”

Before she knows it, the older woman has her wrapped up in a strong hug. Ellie hugs back awkwardly not sure how to react to the sudden affection. “It’s good to see you too,” she laughs nervously. When she’s finally released, they head into the kitchen to eat.

“Can I help you do anything, ma’am?” Ellie offers hoping her respectful manner will help in some way. Instead, she gets an amused look from Dina and a chuckle from her mom.

“Ellie, you’ve been here a thousand times. You don’t have to call me ma’am. Laura works just fine,” she laughs in a teasing but kind voice. “But you can pass out the silverware if you want to.”

Light crimson tints freckled cheeks as she turns to retrieve the silverware from the drawer. Both women would call her bullshit without hesitation and that was intimidating but it’s also something she liked most about them. Always so open and speaking their minds had taken some getting used to.

Finally, they settle down and eat the wonderful meal Laura has prepared for them. The grilled chicken and vegetables make Ellie’s mouth water and she has to remind herself to not scarf it all down in one bite. The auburn-haired girl enjoys watching the two women talk and tease each other as they eat. Their personalities are so similar it’s like watching Dina talk to herself in the mirror.

Halfway through the dinner, Dina excuses herself to use the restroom. The small girl turns slowly to get up and leans over to kiss the corner of Ellie’s lips. Dina hesitates just long enough to send a ripple of excitement down Ellie’s spine. When emerald eyes quickly glance over in shock at the unexpected affection, they meet dark eyes that are almost primal. It’s different than the normal seductively playful looks she’s used to seeing. The dark pools are so intense and wanting, Ellie blushes deeply unsure how to react. Her heart begins to pound in her chest as she’s stuck in her girlfriend’s trance. But like a flash of lightning, she’s gone and Ellie’s left in a confused and flustered state. Emerald eyes watch the exaggerated sway of her girlfriend’s hips as she disappears from the room.

_Jesus, what was that look for? God, she’s so hot. She would do that and then leave me alone with…. oh, shit. _

Ellie looks across the table wide-eyed at the woman who had just witnessed the sexually charged encounter. The woman she had been desperately trying to impress locks her into a deadpan stare. Heat burns her face and ears to the point she feels like they might start smoking. Ellie wants to look away but she can’t. Like a deer caught in headlights, she’s frozen in fear. Scanning for some sort of emotion, she picks up nothing. Finally, Laura speaks first.

“You put those hickeys on her neck?”

Emerald eyes widen further and she flushes deeper than she thought possible. “Uhm... I... umm,” Ellie sputters quickly trying to think of some response. Nothing. Her mind is in full panic mode. “We just…I. Uhm.” It’s too much for her to process. The sound of laughing breaks her scrambling mind.

“Ellie! I’m just fucking with you calm down!” Laura laughs loudly.

The tall girl breathes the biggest sigh of relief and chuckles nervously. Her heart still races in her chest as she tries to calm herself. Both women knew just how to rile Ellie up and the back to back rapid-fire had almost melted her mind. Part of her wondered if they had planned it through telepathy or something.

Eventually, the older woman comes down from her laughing spell and there’s an adoring look in her eyes. “You’ll take care of her, won’t you?”

The teasing has evaporated and the feeling in the kitchen shifts. This question still stuns Ellie momentarily but she quickly recovers. “She’s the one that takes care of me really. But I will if she ever needs it,” Ellie smiles. The feeling of a mutual love for Dina radiates between them and settles her nerves.

“She really loves you. I’ve never seen her this happy.”

The statement hits Ellie like a truck at full speed. Even though Ellie knew Dina loved her, part of her always worried she would never be enough. There would be someone better. Someone that would be everything Ellie wasn’t. But hearing this from her mom makes her heart swell with confidence in what they had. A love that was special. She can’t keep the smile on her face from growing.

“I love her too. She’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

The moment between them sparks a feeling that is foreign to Ellie. Never had she openly discussed her feelings with someone besides Dina and Joel. It felt like a silent bond had been made over the love they shared for Dina. They look deeply at each other, acknowledging the other person’s role in Dina’s life and how important they were. Maybe it was the fact that both knew Dina had someone else in her life to fall back on if something happened. Whatever it is, the feeling comforts Ellie. 

“Just don’t fuck it up, alright?” Laura laughs lightly and the seriousness leaves the conversation as quickly as it had entered. A knowing gleam lights her face as she smiles.

The auburn-haired girl chuckles softly, “I’m trying my best not to.” 

Finally, Dina returns to finish their dinner and Ellie can feel dark eyes burning into her throughout the rest of the meal. Ellie feels more comfortable to speak freely and she and Laura talk the majority of the time with barely any word from Dina. Ellie notes the unusual silence. As they talk, Ellie innocently rests her free hand on Dina’s knee. A barely audible gasp falls from her girlfriend’s lips and goosebumps ignite under her fingertips. The unexpected reaction from her girlfriend almost short circuits Ellie’s mind.

_What the fuck was that?_

Laura begins to gather the dishes to wash and Ellie takes note of the death grip Dina had on her fork as she hands it over. As Laura turns to begin washing, Ellie finally allows a quick glance at her girlfriend. Their eyes meet and instantly she regrets it. Dina’s usually soft and welcoming features are twisted and seductively dark. A light flush has spread on her cheeks and slightly exposed chest. Her breathing is deep and measured. Ellie feels like prey staring right in the face of a predator. Fire ignites in her belly and chills course down her frame.

_Holy shit. What is going on right now? _

Laura calls a question over her shoulder, breaking the moment between them. “You guys wanna stay and watch a movie?”

“Ellie has early watch in the morning,” Dina responds almost instinctually with a deadpan voice.

“Oh, come on. It’s barely after eight? Can’t you watch one movie, Ellie?” Laura asks sincerely with her back to the girls still scrubbing the plates.

Ellie looks questioningly at her girlfriend before answering. Dina was always up to watch a movie so her quick dismal has caught her off guard. Dark eyes lock onto emerald ones. A small hand silently pulls a calloused one under the table. Ellie’s fingers begin to be guided up a warm thigh and she feels her heart skip a beat. Quickly, she’s dragged under the soft red cotton of Dina’s dress until she is abruptly halted over the fabric of her panties. Emerald eyes widen in surprise at the wetness that has completely soaked through. Dina presses Ellie firmly between her legs and bites her bottom lip in an attempt to silence the groan that wants to escape from the contact. Dark eyes seem to beg Ellie to get the hint.

Ellie’s mouth goes dry as her mind is sent into overdrive. The wetness she feels under her fingers sparks electricity through her blood that travels from her head to her toes. Crimson lights her face and ears as her mind breaks. An inferno explodes deep in her belly and she does nothing to stop it as it ravages her entire body.

_Jesus Christ, I need to get her alone. She’s never acted like this before. What has got her so worked up? Fuck, we need to leave. _

Suddenly, Ellie snaps out of her momentary shock and pulls her hand away. “Ummm…. I’m just tired and I really need to uhh rest. Can we take a raincheck though?” Quickly, she wipes the lingering arousal off on her pants and stands to say goodbye.

“I wish you guys could stay but I’m glad you came for dinner!” Laura beams a wonderful smile as she finishes the dishes and walks them to the door.

Again, Ellie is wrapped in an unexpected tight hug but this time she hugs back without the awkwardness. “Thank you for dinner. It was great,” she states with a smile as she pulls away.

“Yeah, thanks, mom. We’ll come over again soon.” Dina hurriedly hugs her mom and opens the door to leave. They say one last goodbye and then they are out into the cool air of the night. Darkness has enveloped Jackson in the past hour.

“What is going on with you?” Ellie teases as they head down the barely lit street. With no response, Dina grabs a calloused hand and begins pulling Ellie quickly. After relentlessly dragging Ellie a couple of blocks, the smaller girl turns down an alleyway and stops when they reach just beyond the cascading light of the street lamps.

Still confused but mostly excited, Ellie allows herself to be guided to the dark, remote section of town. Before she knows it, her girlfriend throws herself up against the wall of the building and grips the back of her neck. Their lips crash together and Dina moves under her with an urgency she’s never witnessed before. Ellie tries to keep up but the pace her girlfriend sets makes it almost impossible. Hands fly over her flannel roughly grabbing everything they come in contact with. A warm tongue connects with hers in chaotic dance that leaves Ellie light-headed. Eventually, the auburn-haired girl breaks away to catch her breath. Dina mummers an unhappy whimper when their lips disconnect. Gasping for air, Ellie looks hard at her beautiful girlfriend.

“This flannel is really doing it for you huh?” Ellie teases, still taking in big gulps of air. Her tall frame presses Dina hard against the wall.

The seductive features of Dina’s face turn soft and her dark eyes melt into delicate pools of amber. The sudden change throws Ellie off again, never able to get her footing on what was happening.

“You’re all I’ve ever wanted.”

Dina’s voice is so soft Ellie barely hears the words that tumble off her lips even though only mere inches separate them. Ellie’s heart breaks from the tenderness of her girlfriend. Time freezes as they look knowingly at each other. Emerald eyes watch brown ones study every feature of her face caringly. One small hand unclasps from behind her neck and pushes a stubborn auburn hair behind her ear. It moves back down to stroke a freckled cheek slowly. Nothing matters at that moment but them.

Ellie acknowledges how rare it was for Dina to be this vulnerable. No words could match the way she felt. With a soft smile, she leans down and kisses her girlfriend gently. The atmosphere seems so fragile between them that Ellie worries that her kiss could crumple her girlfriend right before her eyes. When she pulls away, their eyes meet in an unspoken affirmation of love.

“I do really love this flannel,” Dina whispers as she slides her hands slowly over toned shoulders. The fragile moment between them evaporates and the lingering desire between them reignites. With a tight grip on her collar, Ellie is pulled back down into a heated string of kisses. This time the taller girl is ready and matches Dina’s swift movements. Letting her hips pin her girlfriend harder pulls moans from deep inside both girls.

“Touch me,” Dina whispers lustfully against soft lips, unable to contain her desire any longer.

Ellie doesn’t have to be told twice. A calloused hand dives down under the hem of Dina’s dress and slides between warm thighs. Nimble fingers push drenched fabric to the side and begin to feel slick folds. A deep growl rumbles inside Ellie at just how wet her girlfriend is. “Fuck.” 

They melt into each other despite the dropping temperature of the night. Ellie feels Dina’s breath hitch when she teases the tip of her finger inside her core. The hands in her hair pull tightly at the teasing. Desperate moans escape into the night sky as small hips grind trying to push Ellie deeper. The taller girl grins smugly feeling the neediness rising quickly from her girlfriend. Right when she’s about to give Dina exactly what she’s craving, the sound of a large group coming down the main street stops them in their tracks.

“Take me home. Now.”

Dina’s command rings in Ellie’s ears. She places a quick kiss on soft lips and intertwines a small hand with hers. With a quick pace, they hurry back onto the main street giggling softly. Heading to Dina’s house, they get a glimpse of the group coming down the street. Jesse leads with four people following. Ellie locks eyes with Jesse momentarily and something is off. There’s a warning in his eyes as they get a couple of yards away before passing by. Confusion riddles her mind as the group moves past towards the clinic. Dina tugs her harshly wanting to get home. The dim light of the streetlamp keeps the rest of the group's faces mostly hidden. They continue to pass and something stops Ellie abruptly. Time slows and the sounds of the night fade away. Eyes deep blue like the sea lock contact with her and suddenly she’s drowning. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shit is about to go down lol. Thanks for reading and being patient for the new chapter. I love hearing from you guys. Here's the link! 
> 
> https://youtu.be/m8LbJfC0SYM


	23. Across the Universe

Lost in the depths of a deep blue sea, Ellie struggles to breach the surface. Every thought is wiped from her mind. Words are glued to the back of her throat, choking her until she can’t breathe. The only thing anchoring her to this earth is her girlfriend’s soft hand still clinging to hers.

“Ellie?”

The gentle and familiar voice plays in her ears on repeat. A voice that seems as in awe as she is. A voice that rips her above the surface and back into reality.

“Kat?”

Everything around them speeds back up and Ellie’s mind is racing a million miles per hour. _Holy shit. She’s not dead. She’s here. _

Small arms wrap around her neck tightly, breaking her from her thoughts. Kat hugs her with a force that almost makes her stumble. A calloused hand releases a soft one allowing her arms to encircle the small girl tightly. Waves of relief flood Ellie’s mind. As much as she tried to be optimistic, Ellie knew when Kat left with her dad, they were going on a suicide mission. Traveling that far in search of two people didn’t make any sense to Ellie. But nevertheless, they went. She tried to imagine they made it and were living somewhere nice but the cruel and realistic part of her mind knew they were probably dead. Ellie just prayed it had been painless. But now everything had changed. Kat is alive and back in Jackson.

Finally, they break apart and Ellie truly looks the blonde up and down. She’s almost nothing but skin and bones. Bruises and cuts litter what she can see of her body. The clothes that hang off her malnourished frame are ripped and caked with dirt. The world outside the walls is brutal and three years had definitely taken its toll.

“Oh my god. How did you get here?” Ellie fumbles to push one of her one thousand questions out of her mouth.

A soft but tired smile crawls across Kat’s face. Blue eyes are worn and more distant than she remembers. “Mostly walking. Some running,” she teases softly.

Ellie grins widely at the dry humor that she had come to associate with the girl. It was something they shared in common. The auburn-haired girl could still see the old Kat shining through this older and more rugged version.

“We should really get to the clinic.”

Jesse’s deep voice pulls Ellie and Kat from their own world. Emerald eyes acknowledge the other three people standing behind Kat. All look weak and wounded in one way or another.

“Yeah, right. Sorry,” Ellie stutters out still in complete shock.

“Come by tomorrow okay?” Kat asks with a weak but pleading voice.

With so much to catch up on and so many questions, Ellie quickly responds. “I will.”

A weak hand reaches out and squeezes Ellie’s as if to say goodbye. The tall girl stands frozen in the street as she watches the group disappear into the shadows of the night. The eerie feeling of seeing a ghost resonates through her. 

“Holy shit.”

Dina’s voice pulls Ellie back to the present. Part of her had forgotten she was still there. Dark brown eyes seem as shocked and surprised as Ellie feels. There’s a ripple of something else across her face but the taller girl can’t quite figure out the meaning. Quickly, Dina melts into a look of worry and concern.

“Are you okay?”

Ellie thinks about the question hard for a moment. Everything happened so fast she never even stopped to think about how she felt. “Yeah, I’m just… I don’t know.” She stumbles through her thoughts and thankfully Dina just listens. Patiently the small girl waits for her to form cohesive sentences. 

“I thought she was dead.”

A soft and empathetic look crosses her girlfriend’s face. Dina reaches out and takes a calloused hand reassuringly. “Let’s get home and we can talk about it if you want, okay?”

Ellie’s heart nearly breaks. “Okay.”

***

Ellie never liked the clinic. No matter how many times Dina forced her to go after patrols, she still avoided it at all costs. So, walking in from her own free will put an uneasy feeling in her belly. Unexpected nervousness filled her frame as well. Not sure what to expect, she takes a deep breath before lightly knocking on the door.

“Come in.”

Hesitantly, Ellie slides through the door into the room. Emerald eyes adjust to the scene before her. The small girl lays in one of the clinic beds with an IV extending from her left arm. The cuts that littered her face the night before have been stitched back together. Blue eyes are still weak but shine brightly when she enters the room.

“Ellie, you came,” Kat smiles weakly.

“I told you I would, didn’t I?” Ellie laughs softly as she sits in the chair by the bed. “How are you feeling?”

“A little weak but I’ll survive. How are you?”

The question is so loaded Ellie pauses before answering. “I umm I’m pretty good.” It was true. As much as she had suffered in her lifetime, the past few months had been some of the best of her life.

“You’ve grown a lot.” Kat’s eyes sweep quickly over the tall girl, taking her in.

Part of Ellie forgot that she had only been sixteen the last time they saw each other. Most of her features had sharpened and matured since then. She’d probably gotten an inch or two taller as well.

“Yeah,” she laughs nervously. Talking about herself was not her strong suit. “So how did you guys make it back?”

Darkness washes behind blue eyes that zone out momentarily. Ellie knew that look. Turning numb to block out bad memories. She scrambles to recover.

“We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,” Ellie smiles apologetically.

“It was just a rough three years. But we found them that’s all that matters.”

Ellie notices the tone shift in her voice. Almost as if she is trying to convince herself, not Ellie. She doesn’t pry any further and makes a mental note not to ask again.

“Well, I’m just glad you made it back. I’ve been thinking about a new tattoo but no one around here could do them after you left.” Ellie’s ploy works almost instantly. The previously dark and solemn face lights up in excitement.

“Oh man, I haven’t done one in so long. What were you thinking? I could sketch a few things and see if they would work?” Kat rambles excitedly.

A warm smile lights Ellie’s face. It felt good to watch Kat’s old self start to break through the hard outer shell. Quietly, she listens to the thousands of ideas that gush from her neglected mind.

“Where were you wanting it?”

“Uhm, maybe my shoulder? Or the other arm? I’m not really sure,” Ellie laughs softly.

“Let me see.”

Before Ellie can protest, the small girl sits up and reaches out for her arm. Delicate fingers roll the fabric of the black thermal just below the elbow and she examines the bare skin now available. Small hands turn her arm over and back multiple times. Ellie watches tensely as Kat imagines endless patterns and pictures that could work with the canvas given. 

“I could do one that runs the opposite direction of your other one. So, it’d start here and end here.” Warm fingers trace the length of Ellie’s forearm slowly in the path that she had explained.

An anxious feeling begins to flutter in Ellie’s stomach at the way soft fingers linger just a little too long on her skin. When their eyes meet, there’s a playful tone settled behind blue eyes.

“Uhh… yup, that’d be great,” Ellie chuckles nervously and pulls away to sit back in her chair.

_What was that? She’s just excited and you’re reading into it too much asshole. She’s been through hell and back. She needs a friend. _

“Your girlfriend going to be okay with a new tat?”

“Yeah, I’m sure she’ll love it.”

“So, she is your girlfriend?”

_Shit, you really walked into that one, idiot. _

Ellie wasn’t sure why she felt uneasy telling Kat about Dina but her nerves were starting to build quickly. Maybe it was the awkwardness of the situation or the fact they only broke up because she had left. Whatever the reason, it had been a long time ago. Ellie thought surely Kat would understand that.

“Umm yeah, she is. For about four months now.”

A flash of disappointment hits Kat’s face but is quickly gone. Ellie can’t quite get a reading on what the small girl is feeling. Blue eyes cast down to the ground, not wanting to look up.

“I knew she always liked you. I guess she finally figured it out for herself huh?” Kat chuckles quietly but a hint of sadness lingers in her tone. 

Ellie marvels at the statement that hangs in the air. _Had I really been that oblivious all these years?_ The awkward silence of the room becomes heavier the longer it continues. Thankfully, a light knock on the door breaks the tension. One of the clinic workers brings in Kat’s lunch and checks her IV. Ellie stays while she eats and they eventually get back to causal small talk. They laugh and joke together for a while and the taller girl feels the awkwardness between them ebb away.

“Well, I better get going. Got night watch in a little,” Ellie sighs as she stands to leave.

A small hand shoots out and takes her rough one. “Thanks for coming by. I… I really missed you, Ellie.” Kat's voice is barely a whisper when she looks longingly into emerald eyes.

The sudden contact startles Ellie. She freezes under Kat’s gaze. Part of her worries at what the longing in her eyes truly means but the other part pushes that far away. Kat needed her. A friend to lean on during recovery. That’s what she would be. Her calloused hand squeezes the small one reassuringly with a soft smile.

“I missed you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone. Here's a short little chapter before some shit goes down lol. Thank you guys for reading! The inspo song for this chapter is great to chill out to.
> 
> https://youtu.be/90M60PzmxEE


	24. Day Tripper

Weeks pass and Kat and her family begin to get back into the routines of Jackson. Ellie visits them often, offering help whenever she can. Once they settle into a house near the west gate, they begin getting put back on watch shifts, patrols, anywhere they can help around town. Kat and her family had jumped at the chance to be useful after healing.

Dina had been supportive in the beginning when Ellie went to help but part of her knew it bothered her that she was spending so much time with Kat and her family. More and more she’d make little comments about it but Ellie continued to reassure her that she was the only person she would ever need. Secretly, she found it sweet that Dina was so protective of her but it also confused her as to why Dina thought she would ever want someone else. 

One bright March afternoon, Ellie makes her way down to the community center for combat class. Even though she was one of the best fighters in all of Jackson, Tommy made everyone who went on patrols attend. Something about “keeping your skills sharp”. Ellie didn’t really care; it wasn’t like she had anything else to do. It also gave her an excuse to pin her girlfriend down in multiple ways. A thrill of excitement shocks her body just thinking of the seductive looks Dina gives her and the way she pushes her hips down on Ellie’s teasingly when she pins her. A sly smirk pulls on her lips as she strides into the building.

The light hum of chatter fills the room as people wait for the class to begin. Emerald eyes search for her girlfriend to no avail. Dina had a clinic shift this morning but should have been off by now. A little confused, Ellie continues to scan the crowd.

“Ellie!”

The auburn-haired girl whips around at the sound of her name being called. “Hey, Kat.” Blue eyes shine happily up at her as the small girl moves closer. Her long blonde hair is pulled back in a high ponytail. Black leggings hug her legs and a grey sweatshirt hangs off her frame. Some school name is printed across the front, which makes Ellie chuckle. She imagines what it would be like to actually go to a school and learn things that weren’t strictly about survival or military tactics. 

“God, it’s been years since I’ve been to one of these,” Kat laughs with a sweet smile. “Hope I don’t get my ass kicked.”

“Nah, you’ll be fine,” Ellie reassures. She doesn’t miss the way Kat’s eyes quickly look her up and down. Again, she scans the room for Dina.

“Alright, let’s get started. Everyone partner up!” Tommy’s voice echoes in the large room quieting the chatter.

A sinking feeling pulls in Ellie’s stomach as people begin to pair up and move to one of the safety mats on the floor. _Where the hell is she?_

“You want an easy partner this go? I’m pretty out of practice. I’m sure I’ll be no trouble for the big bad Ellie Williams,” Kat teases with a kind voice but her eyes have a dark tint behind them. 

Part of the taller girl internally winces at the suggestion she knew was coming. The other part scolds herself for being stupid. _It’s just one class._ “Uhh sure that’s fine,” she finally musters out slightly upset by Dina’s absence. 

“Your girlfriend going to be okay with that?” Kat challenges with a sly smile pulling on her lips.

_Probably not._ “Yeah? Why wouldn’t she be?” Ellie laughs nervously. The memory of Dina’s jealousy getting the best of her when Ellie had joked about having dinner with another girl runs through her mind. _There’s nothing to be jealous of. Just because Dina makes these classes sexual doesn’t mean Kat will. It’ll be fine._ _Maybe I’ll actually learn something without her distracting me._

“Just making sure,” the small girl hums smugly.

Tommy begins the class by going over signs of aggression and ways to deescalate situations if possible. “Don’t start a fight if you don’t have to….”

The sound of the side doors opening cuts off his monologue and everyone looks to see who comes in. Dina, Wyatt, Sam, and Emily quickly enter trying not to be noticed.

“Nice of you guys to join us,” Tommy calls back to the latecomers before continuing his instructions.

Ellie makes eye contact with her girlfriend and part of her wishes she hadn’t. Brown eyes turn dark and a frown sets into her features when she sees her partner. Ellie meets the annoyed look with an apologetic smile. It doesn’t help. Dina partners with Sam and turns forward with an eye roll.

_Great. _

“All right, first we're going to start with escape tactics. When you get in a position of life or death, these will be useful. Maria and I will demonstrate a few simple maneuvers then you guys can practice.”

Ellie watches intently as Tommy lays down and Maria straddles his hips before locking her hands on his throat. Flashbacks of all the times the auburn-haired girl had been in that exact position, almost choked to death, run through her mind. She shakes her head trying to push them away. Tommy demonstrates multiple ways to escape the hold before allowing the rest to practice.

“Now this is practice everyone so don’t actually choke your partner. Not even in a fun way,” he states with a wink before cutting them loose. The room chuckles at the joke but Ellie doesn’t laugh. She can practically feel the holes burning in her back from Dina’s stare without even looking.

“All right you want to be on top or bottom?” Kat giggles deviously.

The blatant innuendo turns freckled cheeks a deep crimson. “Uhh… whatever you want first is fine.”

The blonde seems to ponder momentarily before speaking. “I’ll let you start on top.” Kat quickly lays down on the safety mat and waits for Ellie to pull herself together.

Strong hands get clammy and the taller girl hurriedly wipes them on her jeans. Taking a deep breath, Ellie gets into position. She does everything in her power to keep the physical contact to a minimum. Strong hands lightly encircle the delicate skin of Kat’s throat as she straddles her midsection.

“Are you nervous?” Kat teases at the obviously flustered girl.

“No! I uhh no I’m not nervous,” Ellie squeaks out.

“It’s not like you haven’t been on top of me before?” Ocean eyes look up at Ellie in a way that makes her stomach roll nervously.

_Oh, Jesus Christ what have I done. I should have never agreed to this. It’s giving her the wrong idea. Just breathe. Get through the class and everything will be okay. She’s probably just kidding around. I can do this. _

Ellie takes a calming breath and they begin to practice what Tommy had demonstrated. Kat was right, she was an easy partner. Probably still weak from malnourishment, Ellie focuses on helping her work on ways to escape that don’t require much strength. Everything begins to become more comfortable until Tommy calls for them to switch. Kat wastes no time climbing onto Ellie’s long frame and sitting down on her hips. Soft hands wrap around her throat and again the tall girl begins to feel panicky. A finger slowly traces down the muscles in her neck and pushes down lightly on her pulse point. Kat smirks at the pounding pulse she feels under her finger. Taking a gulp, Ellie closes her eyes and tries to concentrate on how to escape the hold. Over and over she escapes from beneath the small girl with little trouble. It’s almost like Kat is enjoying being subjected to her raw strength. 

“All right everyone next position!” The room quiets again as they watch the example given by Tommy and Maria.

When they begin to practice again, Ellie stands behind Kat and wraps one strong arm around her neck, putting her into a headlock. Soft hands immediately fly up and caress the now flexed muscles of her arm.

“Damn Ellie, you’ve really put on some muscle huh?”

The auburn-haired girl can feel the heat that burns her cheeks and ears. The feeling of fingers gliding across her skin makes her regret not wearing a long-sleeve. Goosebumps flare up from the contact. Flustered, she shoots a panicked glance across the room to her girlfriend who has zeroed in on the hands wandering her arms. Emerald eyes watch the smoke practically rise from her ears. Sam taps Dina’s arm that is absentmindedly tightening around his throat.

_God, please let this be over soon._

After another few rounds of practice, her prayers are answered. Or so she thought.

“Everyone listen up! We had a good class today and I’m proud of the effort shown. Fighting isn’t always the answer but you need to be able to protect yourself out there. One last drill and we will call it a day. Each pair will spar until one person is pinned for three seconds. One pair at a time and everyone else line up while you wait,” Tommy instructs from the front of the room.

Ellie and Kat get in line and watch quietly as pairs spar. Jesse and his brother take forever to finish, both too competitive to end the spar as the loser. Ellie respected Jesse’s fighting abilities as it was close to matching her own. He had been a worthy opponent many times. Finally, he outlasts his younger brother and pins him. Dina and Sam are next and they quickly move onto the mat. The auburn-haired girl almost feels bad for Sam as she watches her girlfriend get in position with something primal in her eyes. A deep, angry expression is engraved in her features as she releases her wrath on her unknowing opponent. She wastes no time wrapping around the taller boy and using his own weight against him. Catching him off guard, Dina slams him down into the mat with a smack and pins his arm in a painful hold. Everyone shouts their praises at the brutal takedown. Ellie beams with pride at her girlfriend’s capabilities. She may be small, but she was the scrappiest fighter in Jackson. Dina gracefully stands and brushes herself off before shooting one of the meanest looks Ellie’s ever seen in Kat’s direction. It takes all her willpower not to grin. The next few pairs go before it is finally Kat and Ellie’s turn. The two girls position themselves on opposite ends of the mat awaiting instructions to start. Deep blue eyes lock onto hers in a heated stare. On Tommy’s command, they charge forward and begin to spar. Ellie quickly takes Kat down to the ground but the blonde puts up a good fight with the techniques Ellie had shown her. The auburn-haired girl struggles to keep her pinned down but finally, she holds Kat’s hips down with her own and locks her wrists on the floor above her head. Three seconds seem to last an eternity. Their faces merely inches from each other’s as they pant loudly from the fight. Again, blue eyes look deeply into emerald ones searching for something. The warm breath hitting Ellie’s face pulls back memories that she immediately feels guilty for thinking about. Finally, the three seconds ends and Ellie hurriedly stands up and heads to the rest of the groups that had already gone. Dina waits for her with a highly pissed off expression. Taking measured steps, she moves towards her girlfriend. A small hand defensively wraps around her arm when she gets in proximity and pulls her close. Thankfully, Kat moves to stand at the other side of the crowd. Ellie can’t help but chuckle at the jealousy radiating from Dina but when she gets a death look for her amusement, the taller girl quickly shuts up. They stand silently watching the rest of the pairs spar and Ellie thinks about Kat’s intentions.

_Maybe she’s just lonely. I mean they have been out there for a long time. I’m sure she is just playing around. Why does she keep looking at me like that if it is a joke though? Maybe she’s just trying to piss Dina off. She did hate how close me and Dina were when we were together. Well, she’s doing a wonderful job at it if that’s the motive. No, I’m sure she means well. Kat wasn’t they petty type. Or was she? It’s been so long, Jesus. _

Tommy’s booming voice breaks her from her internal debate. “Alright, good job everyone. If you ever feel like you need more practice come and find me. Next week’s patrol and watch shifts are on the wall over there so make sure you look at it.”

Ellie sighs a breath of relief knowing this awkward day is almost behind her. She looks down at her girlfriend with a warm smile and squeezes her hand affectionately. The gesture seems to simmer the fire raging behind dark eyes slightly. Chapped lips peck the soft skin under Dina’s hairline and that extinguishes the inferno completely. The small girl practically melts into her side as they walk hand in hand to the schedules posted on the wall. When the crowd disperses enough, they move up and scan their shifts. Emerald eyes widen when she sweeps over her schedule. Dina stiffens by her side and fingernails dig into her calloused hand painfully.

_Why me, God?_

A sickly-sweet voice makes both girls turn. “So, I guess they figured my first overnight patrol should be with the best huh?” Kat hums. A suspiciously innocent expression graces her features.

Anxiously, Ellie laughs in response too scared to say the wrong thing. She couldn’t remember a time she felt more awkward. The feeling makes her want to melt into the floorboards.

“Well, I guess I’ll see you Wednesday, El.” The blonde punctuates the sentence with a wink before turning smoothly and heading out the door.

Ellie doesn’t even need to look at her girlfriend’s reaction as the grip on her hand tightens to the point she worries her bones might snap. That alone was telling enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for reading! I'll try to post again soon! 
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2IbPn5j2YKk


	25. Oh! Darling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut Warning

“So, when we leave at dawn tomorrow, we will head east to the museum first,” Ellie explains as she slides her fingers over the map they’ll be using on their patrol. Blue eyes focus intensely on the path that is being shown. “We will clear that out and head to the cabins a few miles west to sleep for the night. Then we will just head back to Jackson when we get up. So, we should be back before dinner on Thursday if all goes well.”

Ellie notes the flash of doubt that crosses Kat’s face. The patrols given to her since her return had been simple day trips only a few miles outside the walls. The blonde had asked to go over everything with Ellie the night before they left. Agreeing, Ellie had met her at the community building with the maps. Busy with people talking, eating, and kids playing, the two girls sat at a corner table discussing the patrol.

“When’s the last time this route was patrolled?”

“Uhhh, I think two weeks ago maybe?” Emerald eyes track the changes in Kat’s features that try to disguise her anxiety. Ellie knew how scary it could be to go back out into a world that had taken everything from you. A ruthless world so different from Jackson even if only a wall separated them.

“Don’t worry okay? If we stay careful and vigilant there won’t be problems,” Ellie reassures with a soft smile. Ocean eyes connect with hers in unspoken gratitude. A soft hand reaches out and touches the calloused one still laying idly on the map. 

“Thanks, Ellie. I’m really glad you’re the one going with me.” There’s nothing but sincerity behind Kat’s statement. A sweet smile pulls on soft lips that match the gentle eyes looking deeply at the taller girl. The sudden silence is comfortable and familiar. Ellie smiles back and right when she’s about to continue going over the route, the sound of someone clearing their throat makes both girls jump, pulling their hands apart.

_Shit. _

“Oh, hey Dina,” Kat speaks first timidly, surprised by the sudden arrival.

“Hello,” Dina barely acknowledges the girl with a cold tone. Dark eyes deadpan over to Ellie. “Can I speak to you for a minute?”

_Double shit. _

Ellie clears her throat nervously before standing. “Uhh, yeah sure thing.” She wasn’t sure why she felt guilty, maybe it was the fact Kat had been touching her hand when her girlfriend walked up. It wasn’t like anything was happening but she’s pretty sure she knew what it looked like. The auburn-haired girl follows closely as they walk a few feet away from the table. Expecting the worst, she’s shocked when a sweet smile crosses her girlfriend’s face. That almost makes her more worried. Ellie fumbles to explain even though she’s not sure what she’s explaining. “Listen, we’re just going over the route and she was worried and….” A small hand caresses her freckled cheek and cuts off her sputtering. Brown eyes lock her into a heated stare.

“I know. I came to tell you to hurry home. I have a surprise for you.”

Ellie’s eyebrows furrow in confusion. “A surprise?”

“Yes,” Dina answers seductively with roaming eyes.

Ellie’s worries dissipate quickly and her mood perks up significantly. A goofy smile creeps across her face. “What kind of surprise?”

A devious smirk pulls on Dina’s lips and her eyes flash darkly. She leans up and kisses Ellie with a force to be reckoned with. Slowly, a hot tongue slides across Ellie’s bottom lip before she pulls away. “Just hurry home, okay?”

The kiss leaves Ellie blushing from the public affection and burning for more. Another kiss presses on her lips, softer this time, but it lingers even as Dina leaves with a wink. But not before shooting Kat a warning glance. 

_God damn, she’s something. _

Ellie stays still, appreciating the sway of Dina’s hips until she’s out of sight. Pulling her lust-filled mind together, she finally heads back to the table. An awkward silence fills the air. The comfortable atmosphere has vanished.

“Everything okay?” Kat asks with a harsher tone than before. The light playfulness from before is gone and replaced with a frown.

“Uh yeah, it’s all good. I actually need to get going soon so what else do you want to go over?” Ellie asks trying not to sound like she’s ditching but the “surprise” has got her mindset miles away from patrol. She tries to offer a smile as a peace offering but Kat’s face settles in disappointment.

“I think I’m good,” she states coldly, blue eyes avoiding Ellie’s.

“You sure?”

“Yeah.”

Ellie wished she had _some_ people skills. At least enough to understand what Kat was feeling. Or how to help. Or if it was her fault. The unusual feeling of guilt again washes over Ellie.

“Well at least let me walk you home?” The suggestion comes again as an attempt to smooth over the now awkward aura between them.

Kat quickly shoots down the notion with an irritated voice. “No. I’m fine. I’ll see you tomorrow, Ellie.”

Before Ellie can say anything else, the blonde is up and out the door leaving her in a confused state. _Why is she being so short all of the sudden? I hope it doesn’t carry over into the patrol tomorrow._

Deciding to not dwell on it, Ellie gathers up her map and heads out into the brisk spring night. Jackson bathes in the orange and pink light from the sun setting behind the mountains. She aches for the longer days of summer and the warm nights filled with stupid adventures and trouble-making with Dina. But this summer would be different than the rest. Now Dina was hers. No third-wheeling with her and Jesse. Or Dina having to split her time between the two of them. Just Ellie and Dina all summer. The auburn-haired girl grins to herself and picks up the pace heading home.

The smell of deer cooking on the stove hits Ellie’s senses as soon as she enters her house. Not having eaten much that day, her stomach growls in anticipation. The sight of Dina working hard to keep from burning the steaks pulls a chuckle from deep inside. Ellie moves to wrap around her girlfriend tightly from behind. Dina hums happily at the contact but continues to concentrate on the two steaks sizzling in the pan. Burying into Dina’s neck, sharp teeth absentmindedly sink into the soft skin there.

The unexpected bite pulls a giggling yelp from the smaller girl, “Ellie! Jesus, you could at least say hello first.”

“Sorry,” she mumbles before soothing the mark with her tongue. She can’t help but smile into the warmth under her lips. Dina’s lavender scent relaxes her muscles as she breathes it in. Strong arms squeeze the girl tighter.

“Let me focus or the steaks won’t be nearly as good as the potatoes,” Dina laughs as kisses continue to trail down the back of her neck.

The mention of mashed potatoes, her favorite, makes the taller girl light up. Turning, they sit perfectly on the counter waiting to be devoured. Instinctively she dips a finger into the creamy white substance to taste. A quick smack to her hand makes her pull away in pain. “Ow!”

“Don’t put your nasty hands in my potatoes! You’ve been working at the stables all day!” Dina scolds before turning back to the stove.

Shaking the stinging out of her hand, she quickly licks the meniscal amount of potatoes gathered, before getting caught, off her pointer finger. They’re good. Too good.

“_Your_ potatoes huh?”

“Yup.”

“So, Joel didn’t happen to make these before he left for night watch?”

The small girl pauses for a beat too long. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Ellie’s laugh echoes in the kitchen before she wraps Dina up again and blows a raspberry into the back of her neck. “It’s still a great surprise.”

Dina rolls her eyes before pulling the sizzling steaks off the stove. Turning in the strong arms holding her, she leans up and presses a kiss to soft lips. Electricity sparks down Ellie, leaving her wanting more.

“Just shut up and eat, asshole,” Dina giggles.

After they scarf down the meal, the two girls begin cleaning up the kitchen. Dark eyes make contact with emerald ones while they wash dishes. There’s something seductively wicked in the gaze that roams Ellie’s body as she scrubs their plates. The taller girl watches Dina exaggerate bending over the table as she wipes it down with a wet cloth. The flame burning deep inside ignites as she takes in the leggings that hug the perfect curves of her girlfriend and the tight purple shirt that rides up at every movement, giving a glimpse of the midriff underneath. The dishes suddenly become a second thought as desire consumes her mind. When Dina slowly bends over the table again to wipe a spot that could easily be reached if she’d just walk around, Ellie can’t keep herself in control. In one quick movement, she’s behind Dina with strong hands gripping thin hips. The sharp gasp from her girlfriend drives Ellie wild with want. A calloused hand moves up to push down on the small girl’s back, keeping her bent over the table. Dina’s breathing becomes uneven as the sexual tension between them starts to become too much. An animalistic craving consumes the auburn-haired girl and she begins to grind her hips slowly into her girlfriend. Her hands roam roughly before gripping the small girl’s hips again, giving her leverage to push against Dina harder. 

“Oh fuck, Ellie,” Dina moans as she pushes back wanting more friction. Before they get too carried away, she pushes up off the table and turns to look deeply into lust-filled emerald eyes. “You’re going to ruin the surprise if you keep it up,” she breathes out still flustered from the strength used to pin her.

Confusion riddles Ellie’s brain as she tries to process anything from her foggy mind. “I thought the potatoes?” is all she can muster out. 

With a sinful look, Dina leans up to whisper in her ear, “Go shower and I’ll give it to you when you get out.” The intentional double meaning of the statement flushes freckled cheeks. A searing kiss is placed on her lips making her head spin. “Hurry,” the beautiful girl smirks.

“Yes, ma’am.”

Ellie’s pretty sure she’s never showered faster in her life. She hurriedly throws her clean clothes on and tries to dry her hair as quickly as possible with a towel. Too impatient, Ellie opens the door to the sound of music playing from her room. Hair still sopping wet, she attempts to calmly head up the stairs but ends up taking them two at a time. The slow melody only getting louder as she approaches the open door of her room.

_Oh! Darling, please believe me  
I'll never do you no harm  
Believe me when I tell you  
I'll never do you no harm _

Emerald eyes widen and her jaw falls open. The scene before her is one that could only be a dream. Desire ignites her tall frame as she stands frozen taking in her “surprise”. Dina waits patiently in a chair, smirking at the way her girlfriend stands frozen in the doorway. Ellie’s green flannel hangs off Dina’s frame, falling just below her hips. Unbuttoned and all that’s underneath is a black, sheer bralette and matching underwear. The auburn-haired girl’s mind melts. She can’t do anything but stare in amazement. Lust runs rampant through her body like an infection. Deep brown eyes have her in a seductive trance that she can’t snap out of.

_Oh! Darling, if you leave me  
I'll never make it alone  
Believe me when I beg you  
Don't ever leave me alone_

“Shirt off,” Dina commands in a low voice.

The instructions finally rip Ellie out of her trance and she quickly discards the long-sleeve to the floor.

“Come here.”

Licking her lips, the tall girl slowly makes her way to her girlfriend. Part of her is scared that if she moves too fast, she’d wake up from this dream. The beautiful girl rises to meet her when she’s in proximity. Soft hands slide over Ellie’s sports bra, up strong shoulders, and finally settle in a sea of wet auburn hair. Strong arms wrap around Dina’s waist, pulling her closer. The skin on skin contact warms Ellie in a way that is starting to get harder and harder to control. A sinfully sweet smile shines up at her and again Ellie is shocked by Dina’s beauty. Every thought in her mind becomes hazy leaving her breathless. The kiss that presses on her lips doesn’t help clear her mind at all. It’s slow and teasing. Every time the taller girl tries to deepen the kiss, Dina pulls away with an evil grin.

When Ellie finally groans in frustration from the teasing, Dina whispers her next command, “Sit down.”

Not wanting to stall, Ellie moves quickly to sit in the chair previously occupied by her girlfriend. Slowly, Dina straddles her lap and begins to grind to the slow rhythm of the song.

_Oh! Darling, if you leave me  
I'll never make it alone  
Believe me when I tell you  
I'll never do you no harm  
Believe me darling _

Emerald eyes widen in lust at the sight before her. Her green flannel has slipped off one of Dina’s shoulders from her slow, melodic movements. The bralette that holds perfect breasts is only see-through enough to tease what’s underneath. Thin hips grind purposefully slow making Ellie buzz with anticipation. Strong hands start to fly over warm skin before Dina grabs her wrists, stopping their hurried movements. The small girl shakes her head before leaning down to whisper in her ear.

“Slow,” she scolds and nips Ellie’s ear to punctuate her point.

The taller girl grunts in frustration and balls her hands into fists trying to remain in control. Ellie stares challengingly at Dina hoping to make her reconsider. The grip on her wrists tighten and dark eyes never back down. With a groan, Ellie leans her head back against the chair, giving in to Dina’s request. Closing her eyes, she tries to calm her body that’s vibrating with want. The friction against her lap makes it difficult and when hot lips connect to her now exposed neck, it’s almost too much. Small hands finally position Ellie’s on the tops of her thighs. Fingernails dig into the skin there and Ellie can feel a smile on her girlfriend’s lips as they continue to mark up and down her neck. Finally, Dina releases her hold and Ellie attempts to go as slow as possible but the adrenaline in her veins makes her move too fast for Dina’s liking. Again, small hands grip her wrists and move them back down to the starting point on her thighs. It’s torture. It takes two more restarts until finally, Dina guides strong hands at the pace she wants. It’s excruciatingly slow and drives Ellie wild. She whines in protest but teeth sink into her neck cutting her whining off with a moan. It seems like hours pass before her hands finally get to her girlfriend’s waist. Everything is on fire as Ellie aids the hips grinding into her. Continuing, she moves up slowly trying to keep the right pace. A tender bite is placed somewhere on her neck each time she moves to fast. Hot lips eventually move to connect with hers in measured rhythm. Ellie gets drunk off the taste and her head is swimming. The moan against her lips when her hands move over hardened peaks and grip forcefully is music to her ears. She secretly liked the drawn-out nature of their actions even if they were painfully slow. The wet heat between her legs was already pooling uncontrollably and she knew it wouldn’t take much to send her over the edge.

They continue to kiss deeply until Ellie moans in agony. Dina grins against her lips before pulling away. Emerald eyes are desperate to begin pleasing her girlfriend in any way imaginable. Anything to move on from this teasing.

Dark eyes squint in amusement only frustrating Ellie further. “Do you want something?” the small girl mocks in a low voice. Ellie grips Dina harder and pulls her closer, pleading with her eyes. One strong hand moves between the smaller girl’s legs but is stopped before she can touch. “Not yet,” Dina whispers with a smirk.

Ellie feels like she is going to explode. Part of her debates just picking her girlfriend up and taking her to the bed but when Dina begins to trail kisses down her chest her mind goes blank. The small girl backs slowly off her lap, letting her lips make their way down over toned abs. Goosebumps ignite on the skin and her blood begins to boil underneath. Her girlfriend kneels in front of the chair and looks up with a truly sinful expression. Ellie’s mouth goes dry and her eyes widen in surprise. This not what she had been expecting. Soft hands nudge her legs apart and begin to kiss the inside of toned thigh. Dark eyes never break contact with emerald ones as she moves slowly inward. Ellie wasn't used to such direct attention. Usually, they were already under the covers or concealed by darkness. She felt especially vulnerable out in the open, looking down at the beautiful girl kneeling before her wanting to please. Shyness overwhelmed her buzzing body and red paints her face. She casts her eyes to the floor unable to hold the intense gaze burning her up inside. As quickly as she looks away, a forceful hand tilts her jaw forward to match the face that is now inches from hers. Dark eyes hold the same intensity that seems to see into her thoughts. Still blushing deeply, soft lips press against hers sweetly.

“I want you to look,” Dina whispers hotly against her lips.

A whimper falls from Ellie’s lips as she nods. Maintaining eye contact, the small girl begins to kneel again and pulls Ellie’s boxers down as she goes. The taller girl lifts briefly off the chair allowing it to happen. She can feel her blush deepening but never looks away. Muscles tense in nervous anticipation, they slowly relax as soft kisses begin again on her inner thighs. She can feel her body trembling, the vulnerability is as excruciating as it is hot. Dina’s hands glide up and down trembling legs as she makes her way closer to Ellie’s center. Freckled cheeks burn a deeper shade of red when she realizes she sliding down in the chair, unconsciously trying to get Dina to where she wants her most. The need is growing at an uncontrollable rate and her heart pounds in her ears. She can hear herself panting in anticipation and it only adds to her blush. Strong hands grip the sides of the chair in agony. Deep brown eyes blown with desire keep her locked in this infuriating hot trance. Dina gives her a devilish smile and suddenly her lips connect with her core.

“Oh, fuck,” Ellie moans a lot louder than she means to.

Cringing at the desperation in her voice, the feeling of Dina between her legs makes her forget why even she cared in the first place. Keeping with the theme of the night, Dina takes her time running a hot tongue over soaked folds. Each new movement pulls a groan from deep in Ellie’s throat. The way dark eyes stare into her as she continues her menstruations almost makes the tall girl melt into the chair. A hot moan spikes against her clit and she can’t help but throw her head back and shut her eyes tightly. She moves one hand into a sea of black curly hair and grips firmly. Starting to become selfish, Ellie pulls her girlfriend closer. Expecting to be punished again for moving too fast, she’s thrilled when Dina moves against her with a hurried purpose. Fire burns in her veins as she feels the pleasure crawling its way up her body.

“Fuck, don’t stop,” she groans in pure desperation, wanting release. A final upstroke of Dina’s tongue makes her arch off the chair in ecstasy. It hits her like a truck and her mind is swimming with the way the small girl continues throughout her release. A film of sweat coats her skin as she pants trying to catch her breath. Everything is hazy and her whole body is flushed. Emerald eyes stay screwed shut as she rests her head against the back of the chair. 

“Holy fuck.”

Ellie feels her girlfriend crawl up her body and straddles her lap again. Eyes still closed; lips press against hers in a deep kiss. Tasting herself on her girlfriend only making her more light-headed. When they separate, Ellie finally opens her eyes to see the most beautiful sight she’s ever seen. Feelings of love and admiration drown her mind. She looks drunkenly up at her girlfriend unable to keep the stupid smile off her face.

Dina giggles at the mess of a girl beneath her. “Did you enjoy your surprise?”

Ellie’s eyes roam the beautiful girl on top of her. “I’m still enjoying it. Why haven’t I got to see these before?” she teases as she runs a calloused finger over the straps of Dina’s bralette.

“Saving them for the right time,” Dina smiles coyly before pressing a soft kiss under an auburn hairline.

“Right time?” Ellie questions. Momentarily, she panics trying to make sure she hadn’t forgotten a birthday or something. Worry flashes across Dina’s face but is quickly replaced with the usual confident smirk.

“I just wanted to remind you of what’s waiting for you at home when you’re gone.”

It takes Ellie’s foggy mind to a few seconds to understand what the statement means. When she finally realizes the meaning her eyes widen and her heartbreaks. She wasn’t good at reading people but she could see through this crumbling wall of confidence Dina was desperately trying to maintain.

“Dina….,” Ellie whispers caringly as she tries to think of the right words. Hard, dark eyes start to soften at the sound of her name and she quickly looks down unable to keep Ellie’s gaze.

“I just… I don’t know…I…”

Ellie tilts Dina’s chin up, cutting her mumbling off. Uncertainty and worry fill brown eyes, catching Ellie off guard. Never had she seen Dina insecure about herself or their relationship and it was truly humbling. Taking a deep breath, Ellie pulls what she wants to say to the front of her now completely sober mind.

“Dina, I love you. You don’t have to remind me because you’re everything to me and I’ll never forget that. You’re all I’ve ever wanted and all I’ll ever need okay?” Ellie looks admiringly at her girlfriend hoping her words are enough.

They are. Dina smiles like Ellie’s never seen before. She swears dark eyes start to grow wet but before she can confirm, lips crash into hers. The kiss is urgent and longing. Dina finally rolls the flannel off her shoulders and onto the floor. Soft hands grab at Ellie trying to pull her closer. The taller girl finally responds, picking her girlfriend up and carrying her to the bed. She lays her down carefully on the bed never looking away. The atmosphere between them has completely shifted. It’s fragile and tender. Ellie takes her time showing appreciation and care to every inch of her girlfriend. Soft moans escape into the air as kisses trail over all the warm skin available. Disposing of the underwear and bralette, Ellie moves between Dina’s legs which quickly wrap around her torso. Swift fingers move down to caress soaked folds causing Dina’s breath to hitch in anticipation. Emerald eyes stay locked on brown ones as she slowly pushes inside. Fingernails dig into the back of Ellie’s neck.

“Ellie, fuck please.”

The auburn-haired girl pushes harder and gains momentum when she moves her hips in the same rhythm as her hand. She doesn’t stop even as fingernails scratch down her back over and over, or when her arm tires to the point she starts to lose feeling. Sweat from the heat shared starts to build on both girl’s skin as they melt into each other. Hips start bucking uncontrollably as Dina arches up into the girl on top of her. Ellie pushes herself past the point of exhaustion but it’s more than worth it to watch Dina explode with pleasure beneath her. Their pants fill the room as Ellie rests her forehead against Dina’s taking in the closeness. Exhausted she lets her body collapse on top of the small girl who groans in protest of the added weight crushing her.

“Sheesh, you’re heavier than you look,” Dina giggles as she brushes sweaty loose strands of auburn hair off Ellie’s face.

Ellie raises trying to look offended but ends up smiling instead. “It’s all this muscle. I can’t help it,’ she teases. That earns her a full laugh as Dina pushes her over onto her side of the bed.

“You’re useless you know that?” the small girl grumbles as she cuddles into Ellie’s side and throws a leg over her torso.

The auburn-haired girl yawns loudly and pulls her girlfriend closer. “You love it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Sorry this took a while, it just kept getting longer and longer lol. Thanks for reading! Y'all are the best :) Here's the link to the jam. 
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9BznFjbcBVs


	26. All My Loving

The room is still dark as Ellie wakes to get ready for her patrol. She moves to pull Dina close before getting up but to her surprise, she’s alone in her bed. The sheets are still warm in the absent spot easing Ellie’s rising worry. Stretching, she stands and heads down the steps. Expecting Dina to have just been using the bathroom, seeing the kitchen light on and a wonderful smell wafting from within comes as a surprise. Ellie rubs her eyes to make sure she’s not dreaming or hallucinating.

“What are you doing up?” Ellie yawns and moves to hug her girlfriend behind. The warmth radiating from Dina makes her want to wrap her up and go back to bed. She nuzzles deeper into the crook of her neck thinking about falling back asleep standing right there. The warm skin against hers and the soft lavender scent is cozy and relaxing.

“I’m just making some bacon so you’ll have enough energy out there.” The small girl spins on her heels with a stern look on her face. Ellie stumbles back from sudden movement and a sizzling spatula is pointed inches from her face. “But not enough energy to be doing anything but patrolling, understand?”

The unexpected hostile attitude zaps Ellie from her groggy state and she stands at attention feeling the heat radiating off the utensil. She really didn’t want a third-degree burn to accompany her face on the patrol. “Yes ma’am,” she answers with a mock salute.

Dark brown eyes roll in exaggeration before Dina turns back to finish cooking. “Go get ready, it’ll be done soon,” she sighs.

Unsure what to do, Ellie complies and heads to the bathroom. It was too early for her brain to start processing Dina’s intentions or mood. Flipping on the light, emerald eyes widen at the reflection looking back at her. Hickeys litter up and down her neck from the night before. Some dark purple, some a light red. A smirk pulls on her lips as she washes her face in the sink.

_She wasn’t going to let me go out there without marking me as hers huh? I should have known that’s why she kept biting so hard. _

Ellie can’t help but chuckle. She couldn’t believe Dina was actually worried about her having eyes for anyone else. It made her heart flutter thinking Dina wanted her that much but it also broke her heart that she worried that much. Even though Ellie knew it was an unwarranted worry, she wanted to ease her girlfriend’s mind. An idea popped into her head and she quickly went upstairs to get ready. Throwing on a grey long-sleeve and jeans, Ellie grabbed her guitar and headed to the kitchen.

“You fall in the toilet or something?” Dina scoffs as she finishes up the bacon with her back still to Ellie.

“Something like that,” Ellie laughs. She clears the lingering morning crud from her throat and strums a practice cord. Dina turns quickly at the sound. A smile breaks through the previous cold features as Ellie begins to play. Surprise and admiration light up dark eyes that zero in on her girlfriend. Playing and singing in front of people still made Ellie nervous but she pushed through and got into the rhythm.

_Close your eyes and I'll kiss you  
Tomorrow I'll miss you  
Remember I'll always be true  
And then while I'm away  
I'll write home every day  
And I'll send All My Loving to you_

Having not warmed up at all, Ellie’s voice waivers a few times but it also helps her hit the lower notes. A stupid smile plasters her face as she continues to sing. Dina can’t keep from giggling at Ellie’s theatrical performance as she awkwardly bounces around as she plays.

_ I'll pretend that I'm kissing  
the lips I am missing  
And hope that my dreams will come true  
And then while I'm away  
I'll write home every day  
And I'll send All My Loving to you _

Ellie feels proud of herself for once again navigating this uncharted territory of Dina’s insecurity successfully. The smile shining up at her almost makes her stumble over the lyrics. _She’s so beautiful._

_All My Loving I will send to you  
All My Loving, darling I'll be true_

The auburn-haired girl finishes the song before bowing gracefully at her one-woman audience. As soon as she puts her guitar on the table, arms wrap behind her neck and soft lips crash into hers. The kiss is hard and filled with longing. Words were not her strong suit but if she could get this reaction by just playing a song, she’d do it a million times. It’s too early to try to keep her mind from getting drunk off the taste of her girlfriend. Sweet and addicting, it only makes leaving for a day seem like torture. She whines softly when Dina pulls away.

“Do you have to go?”

“I wish I didn’t,” Ellie whispers before kissing Dina again. And again. And again. Heat starts to crawl up her tall frame in a way that is hard to ignore.

Small hands finally push her back before they get too carried away. “Let’s eat horndog,” Dina giggles with a wink.

***

“Be careful out there okay?” Dina sighs as she straightens Ellie’s jacket. The morning light is just beginning to peak over the mountains as they say their goodbyes on the porch. Dark eyes linger solemnly on emerald ones before giving the taller girl a quick kiss.

Dina turns to move back into the house but strong arms recapture her and pull her close. Ellie leans down and kisses her girlfriend with all the love she has. She can feel Dina’s smile against her lips. “I’ll see you tomorrow okay?” 

“Okay.”

With another quick peck, Ellie heads to the stables. The spring air is crisp as she makes her way through Jackson. Melvin waits patiently in the stable as Ellie saddles him up. No sign of Kat yet, so she takes her time. Calloused hands stroke Melvin’s freshly groomed mane which earns her an appreciative snort.

“You were always good with horses,” a soft voice calls from the stable doors. Kat hobbles in carrying a saddle that significantly weighs her down. Ellie quickly moves to help the struggling girl and takes it from her. 

“Thanks,” the small girl huffs out. “I’ve got Ryder today if you would be so kind.”

The auburn-haired girl smiles softly before saddling up the chestnut horse. “They must work you here a lot given how ripped you’ve gotten.” She feels Kat moving behind her and as she tightens one of the straps, a soft hand is placed on her shoulder. When she turns around, they are a little closer than she’s comfortable with. Deep blue eyes seem to smirk at the way Ellie flushes a deep red at the sudden closeness and compliments. “Something wrong, El?”

The words are whispered in a dark voice that only flusters Ellie more. Trying to create some distance, she takes a step back only to bump into Ryder. An aggravated warning grunt comes from the creature behind her. “Uhhh, yeah I do um work here a lot,” she finally mumbles out. Emerald eyes dart to the ground nervously. It’s not until a small hand slides up her shoulder that she looks up wide-eyed.

“Well, they’re lucky to have you,” Kat smiles. The previously dark features are soft and friendly. The small hand pats her shoulder before moving to finish tightening the saddle. Ellie stands frozen momentarily. All the mixed signals are impossible to decipher.

_What the hell was that? Stop reading into it too much. She’s just friendly that’s all. Stop worrying. _

Emerald eyes watch the blonde smoothly mount the chestnut horse and begin to head out of the stables. “Stop staring and let’s get going,” Kat calls over her shoulder with a wink. Ellie just rolls her eyes and hurriedly jumps on Melvin to follow. 

The sun warms the air as they ride out into the open world. The ride is long but beautiful and Ellie takes in the sights. At about noon they stop to eat lunch at a riverbank. Pulling out the sandwich Dina had made for her; Ellie sits quietly watching the flow of the water as she eats. Kat joins her and a comfortable silence fills the air only disrupted by the soft babbling of the water.

“You ever patrolled this museum before?”

“Yeah, but it’s been a few months,” Ellie mumbles through her food.

“I wish we could have seen it before the world went to shit,” Kat sighs and takes a bite of her beef jerky stick.

“Well actually some of the fossils are still standing and at night there’s this huge telescope place on the roof and you can see all the stars and planets and stuff when you look in it. It’s a little cracked but it still works. It’s really awesome. Maybe if it’s not too cloudy we can use it tonight before we head to the cabins.” Ellie internally winces at the dorkiness and excitement in her voice. It was an awesome place though. Just thinking about other planets that could hold unknown wonders was so fascinating to her.

“I mean if you want to, we don’t have to…”

A soft giggle cuts of her rambling. “That sounds great,” Kat laughs with eyes that look at Ellie sweetly. But her features instantly turn mischievous and her eyes roam the girl beside her.

“Remember the last time we went stargazing?” Kat whispers seductively.

Ellie chokes on the food in her mouth. Heat burns her whole face as she coughs loudly. Sinful eyes watch with amusement. Ellie does everything she can to keep the memory from resurfacing but that seems to only pull it to the front of her mind faster…...

_“You’re going to get us in trouble Ellie,” Kat whispers as they slip through a crack in Jackson’s walls just big enough to squeeze through one person at a time. _

_“No, we won’t. Just keep quiet till we get there,” Ellie warns and laces her hand in Kat’s. _

_The summer night was warm and slightly humid from the rain earlier in the day. Ellie dragged the small girl through the woods keeping a close eye out for any sign of the perimeter patrol. Finally, they reached the big clearing just outside their town. The sky was black with thousands of stars sprinkled across it. The auburn-haired girl quickly laid out a blanket on the damp ground. The two girls laid looking up into the big abyss above them giggling and pointing out shapes they found. Ellie tried to remember the constellations Joel had shown her but she quickly gave up on that and started making some of her own. Kat snuggled into her side and listened to the bullshit stories she made up about how her new constellations came to be. _

_“All of these stories are one-hundred percent true. So, I wouldn’t even ask anyone to verify them because they’re so secretive only I know about…...” The small girl suddenly pushed herself up on her side to look at Ellie cutting her storytelling off. “…. What’s that look for?” Ellie questioned as she leaned up on her elbows with a furrowed brow. _

_The pale moonlight made it hard for Ellie to read her ocean eyes but it didn’t matter because before she could say anything else soft lips pressed against hers. Caught off guard, it took Ellie a few seconds to reciprocate. Kat tasted sweet like cherries on her lips and it drove her wild. A soft hand lightly pushed her back down onto the blanket and a leg was thrown over her hips. A hot tongue swiped across her bottom lip and Ellie couldn’t help the soft moan that escaped from deep in her throat. They had kissed a few times before but nothing like this. Their relationship was still being explored and Ellie was happy to keep exploring if it meant more of this. Kat was everywhere, her senses were consumed by her. Ellie let herself get carried away by the feelings of having her on her lips and under her hands. Wanting more control, she flipped the smaller girl under her and let her hands feel every inch available. Kat’s hushed moans against her lips lit every part of her on fire. Soft hands began unbuttoning her black flannel and quickly pulled it off the auburn-haired girl. Their kisses became more desperate and heated as they moved against each other. _

_“Fuck, El,” Kat gasped against her lips as calloused hands slipped under her t-shirt. _

_Every part of Ellie was buzzing with lustful excitement. Electricity sparked every nerve ending in her body as they pushed further. _

_ “Oh shit, Ellie!” _

_With a hard shove, Ellie was pushed off and tumbled to the side. Confusion riddled her swimming mind and it wasn’t until she saw the strobe of flashlights dancing in the trees beside them that she understood. _

_“Fuck fuck fuck,” Ellie cursed as she jolted up and tried to gather the blanket and her flannel. The voices were getting closer to the edge of the woods only adding to her stress. _

_“Forget them!” Kat cried in a whispering voice and began to pull her to the opposite side of the clearing. They sprinted into the woods and headed back to the crack in the wall. A branch caught the edge of Ellie’s t-shirt sleeve and ripped it down the seam. They giggled as they continued to run through the woods and away from the patrol. They didn’t stop until they were back behind Jackson’s walls. Laughter filled the sky as they sucked in air trying to catch their breath. _

_“See? I told you we wouldn’t get in trouble,” Ellie chuckled._

Red paints Ellie’s face as she tries to push the memory far away. Kat seems to love the way Ellie is floundering around the subject as she smiles coyly.

“I’m taking it you do remember,” she states with a wink before turning back to look out at the water. “I’m sorry we lost your flannel.”

Ellie just hums a response too flustered to speak. She shoves the last bite of her sandwich in her mouth hoping it will get her out of talking. 

“It’s a shame. You always looked so hot in it,” Kat states matter-of-factly. For the second time in the past five minutes, Ellie chokes on her food. 

“Did you forget how to eat?” The blonde teases as she slaps Ellie on the back a few times trying to help. When the taller girl finally pulls it together, they clean up and get back on the trail.

***

The sun is beginning to set as they arrive at the museum. Orange and red paint the sky as they move inside the building. Cautiously, they search the area for infected. Kat stays close to Ellie as they walk. Clicking can be heard down the hall and Ellie motions to stay quiet. Ellie peaks around the corner and looks down the hallway. Three clickers stumble around a few yards away. The taller girl instantly draws her bow and takes a deep breath. Dialing in, she sinks an arrow right in the first clicker's head. The thud of its limp body hitting the ground draws the attention of the other two. But before they can get too close, they both meet the same fate as the first. Ellie moves quietly, listening for more infected. Deeming it safe for now, she goes to see if she can recover any arrows.

“Damn, that was hot,” Kat breathes out in awe.

“Lots of practice,” Ellie chuckles nervously as she pulls an arrow from the clicker’s skull. The second arrow is salvageable but the third breaks off in the clicker’s head. “Damn it,” she grumbles.

“Whoa, that’s so cool!”

The taller girl turns to see Kat admiring the huge dinosaur fossil hanging on the wall. Part of it had fallen to the ground but a good majority still hung there.

“I can’t believe there were things this big on the earth. Could you imagine?”

Ellie makes her way over to look more closely. She’d seen it on patrol before but it still amazed her every time. “Yeah, it’s hard to believe,” she muses. Emerald eyes study the expressions of Kat as she continues to look. She had forgotten truly how pretty she was and how close they had once been. Ocean eyes catch her staring but simply crinkle in a smile.

The last rays of light disappear as they continue to explore. Flashlights show the way as they move up to the top floor. Ellie lets Kat deal with the single runner that they come into contact with. The pride on her face as she takes the infected down brings a smile to Ellie’s lips.

“I think that’s all of them. You wanna go on the roof before we head to the cabins?” Ellie asks trying not to sound too eager.

“Of course.”

They climb a ladder up to the roof and out a hatch into the darkness. The sky is clear and shining with stars. The sight is breathtaking. Ellie quickly drops her backpack and runs to look through the telescope. After wiping off the dirt, she looks in awe at the stars and planets up close. “Hey! I think I can see Saturn!”

Ellie moves over and lets Kat look for herself. “Woah, this is so cool.”

“I know. I could stay up here for hours. Joel said they used to have classes in school that were strictly about space. How awesome would that be?” Ellie rambles excitedly as she waits for her turn to look again.

The blonde leans back and looks up at her with admiration. “I really missed listening to you get excited about things.”

The statement takes Ellie by surprise. “How could anyone miss my rambling?” she tries to joke but is suddenly caught in Kat’s gaze.

“I missed a lot of things about you, El.”

Kat’s features are soft but sad at the same time. The small girl takes a step closer and Ellie’s heart begins to race. _Just be nice. She’s been through a lot. Don’t freak out._ _There’s nothing to freak out about._

“Yeah, I missed you too,” Ellie states sincerely with a smile trying to ease the growing tension.

But Kat doesn’t smile back. Her ocean eyes are longing. The expression on her face is yearning for something more but Ellie is too scared to think about what that something could be. She can feel the heat burning her cheeks as she tries to remain calm under Kat’s gaze. Panicked thoughts run through her mind a hundred miles per hour. Kat moves closer and she’s frozen. Everything in her is telling her to do something. Anything. Before Ellie can get her body and mind to cooperate, soft lips press against hers and they taste sweet, like cherries. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys. I know it has been a while and I am sorry about that. I've had some family stuff go on and I am trying to spend as much time with them as I can. My college is all online now so i'm trying to figure all that out. I also am a manager at a grocery store so I'm having to work overtime there. My next week's schedule literally has me for 45 hours even though I'm only part-time. I know the world is going to shit but please be kind to people working at the grocery store. We are doing the best that we can lol. I really am trying to keep up with writing because I enjoy it and I really enjoy talking to everyone. So if it takes a while i apologize in advance. I hope everyone is safe and doing well - Abby :)
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TSpiwK5fig0


	27. If I Needed Someone

The taste of cherries burns hot on Ellie’s lips. Time seems frozen as her mind processes what is happening. Emerald eyes are wide as soft lips continue to move against her. Pure shock electrocutes her mind and body as she stays stiff. A second passes and her mind unfreezes allowing one singular thought to snap her out of her surprise.

_Dina. _

Ellie’s body finally cooperates and strong arms push the smaller girl away, breaking their lips apart. Confusion, shock, and anger start to flood her mind.

“What the fuck, Kat?” Ellie snaps with a harsh tone.

Ocean eyes are sad and hurt as they stare longingly up at Ellie. Kat stands silently for a moment, taking in Ellie’s reaction. “You really love her huh?”

The question hangs in the tense air as the auburn-haired girl tries to process it. “Yes,” she states softly, the anger draining quickly. Ellie watches as Kat seems to finally accept the truth of her answer. Part of her feels bad knowing the feeling Kat is dealing with. Ellie had felt the same way every time Dina came running to tell her all about one of her new boyfriends. She didn’t want to hurt Kat but she was with Dina now and there was no way she would jeopardize that.

“I’m sorry, Ellie.”

Lost in her thoughts, the apology snaps Ellie to the present. The hurt on Kat’s face makes her feel like she should apologize too but for what she’s not sure of. “Kat, I’m sorry if I made you feel….” A soft voice cuts her off before she can finish. 

“No, don’t apologize. I shouldn’t have done that. I know you’re with her now. Just seeing you again and being gone for so long made me selfish and I’m sorry. I don’t want to mess up what you guys have even though I wish we could go back to the way it was before I left. But we can’t and I understand that even though it hurts.” Kat’s voice wavers slightly as she takes a deep breath before continuing. “I know you probably hate me now but I just want to be at least your friend. But I understand if you don’t want anything to do with me.”

Ellie raises a hand to cut off the rambling. “Kat, I don’t hate you. I want to be friends too.” A flash of hope lights the smaller girl’s face up as she listens to Ellie. “If I needed someone you would be the first to know, but I’m with Dina and I need you to respect that okay?”

Kat hangs her head and takes a deep breath before looking back up into emerald eyes. “Okay, I’m sorry. I really am. I don’t know what is going on with me.”

The remorse and honesty in her voice calms Ellie’s still racing mind. Even though she knew she should be mad she couldn’t be. “I mean I get it. Nerdy astrology talk is how I get all the ladies so it makes sense you couldn’t resist,” Ellie grins smugly as she watches Kat gape at her teasing.

“Oh, fuck off!” Kat laughs as she punches the taller girl in the shoulder. Giggles erupt from both girls as the intense moment between them evaporates. Ellie breathes a sigh of relief as she watches Kat transform back into her regular self. “So, we’re good?”

The taller girl smiles softly, “Yeah, we’re good.” With the air cleared, everything seems okay again. Looking up, she takes in the beauty of the night sky again. _I need to bring Dina up here one night. Man, she’d really love it up here. Maybe in the summer we could bring a picnic and lay under the stars. All alone…._

“You ready to head to the cabins?”

Kat’s voice snaps Ellie from the lingering thoughts that begin to tint her face red. “Uhh, yeah that sounds good.”

***

Ellie works on getting the fire started as Kat cracks open their cans of beans. The cabin had thankfully been completely empty when they arrived. They joked on the ride there and Ellie was more than happy to be back in the friendly atmosphere between them. The fire roared to life as it caught on the dry wood. Ellie set up their mats to sleep and they ate their dinner in content silence. Everything was going perfectly until a solemn look washed over Kat’s face.

“You good?” Ellie laughs with a hint of worry in her voice. The blonde’s silence only adds to her growing concern.

Finally, the small girl speaks up, “Are you going to tell her?”

“Tell who what?” Ellie questions still confused. Ocean eyes dart down and stay locked onto the can of beans she stirs absentmindedly. Ellie studies Kat’s suddenly shy actions and finally, it hits her.

“Oh,” Ellie sighs out. She hadn’t even begun to think about what to tell Dina. Or if she even would. Part of her knew she should be honest and tell her. It wasn’t like anything had actually happened. If anything, it had solved their awkward situation and helped Kat understand they were just friends. But Ellie knew that would NOT be they way Dina saw it. Her girlfriend made it very clear that she did not share. The dark hickeys still scattered on Ellie’s neck seemed to burn her skin as a reminder. Knots twisted her stomach the more she thought about it. She could already picture Dina’s beautiful features twisting in anger and fire ignite in her dark eyes. A ripple of fear shook her body as she tried to push the thoughts away. “I’m not sure. I really don’t feel like getting my ass kicked as soon as I get home,” Ellie laughed half-heartedly.

“I’m sorry I put you in this situation.” Remorse fills the blonde’s eyes as she looks back up at Ellie.

“I’m sure it’ll be fine. We are good now so I’m sure if I just explain she’ll understand,” Ellie tries to smile reassuringly. 

_Yeah, keep telling yourself that. She’s going to kill you and you know it. But I didn’t do anything! That’s not what she’s going to want to hear dip shit. God, I’m fucked. _Ellie shakes her head trying to stop the battle of her inner voices.

“Don’t worry about it. It’s over alright?” Ellie smiles softly. There was no reason to worry Kat about something that hadn’t even happened yet.

Kat’s eyes smile back and they finish up there dinner quietly. Tired from their long day, both girls lay down and fall asleep warmed by the fire.

***

The next morning, they pack their things, saddle up, and begin to ride back. The first few hours of the trip they laugh and talk quietly. But the closer they get to Jackson; silence falls over them. Nerves begin twisting Ellie’s insides until she feels sick. The memories of Dina worrying about her patrol and being vulnerable drown her mind with guilt. Even though she didn’t exactly have control over the situation from the previous night, she still felt terrible about it.

The sun low in the sky, the gates of Jackson are finally in sight. Part of her wished they hadn’t made such good time. She needed more time to think about how to explain to Dina what happened without ending up single or with an ass-kicking. None of her plans seemed to end without one or the other. Or both.

“I’ll put up Melvin if you wanna go on home,” Kat offers with a knowing smile.

Ellie hadn’t even realized they were already at the stables. “Uhh, sure thanks.” Ellie scolds herself for agreeing so quickly. Putting up the horses would have given her at least another hour to plan. No part of her wanted to head home. She slides off her horse and pats Melvin’s mane before saying goodbye.

The walk to Dina’s house is agonizing. _God, I can’t do this. I don’t want to hurt her. Maybe I shouldn’t tell her. No, that’d be hiding it and then I’d feel even worse. Fuck, just do it. Maybe she’ll understand. Just be honest. _

Ellie stands at the door for what seems like an eternity before she finally enters. The door had only just shut behind her when a force hits her like a train and her back slams against it. Small arms wrap behind her neck and kisses pepper her face over and over.

“Ugh, I missed you,” Dina breathes out between her assault on Ellie’s face and neck. Her legs wrap around the taller girl as she clumsily climbs up her girlfriend.

Caught off guard, Ellie struggles to keep from dropping Dina as she tries to get a good hold under her thighs. Lips are on hers before she can speak and hands run up to grip her auburn hair. Dina’s Kiss gets her drunk off the desire igniting between them. Everything is moving so fast and the soft moans passing between their lips make her knees weak. All too quickly, the small girl pulls away with a sweet smile and pecks a freckled nose before climbing down off her makeshift tree. Dina’s cheeks burn a soft red from her previously heated actions. “I’m glad you’re home. And early too! How’d that happen?”

“Kat offered to deal with the horses.” Emerald eyes take in the beautiful features before her. Everything about Dina was beautiful.

“That was awful nice of her,” Dina scoffs with an eye roll. She wraps behind Ellie’s neck as they continue to talk. “Did she kiss your ass the whole patrol too?”

Dina laughs but Ellie freezes up. Panic sweeps across her face as she looks into the dark orbs staring into her. She didn’t want to do this but she knew she had to. Dina didn’t miss the sudden shift in Ellie’s demeanor. Dark eyes scan her face quizzically and harden as Ellie shows nothing but pure anxiety on her face. A deafening silence fills the air between them as the small girl waits for Ellie to speak up.

The words glue in her throat and Ellie’s mouth feels as dry as sandpaper. Fire begins to ignite behind Dina’s eyes as her mind runs away with thoughts of what Ellie is so panicked about. “Listen, I need to tell you something but you can’t freak out. Just please let me tell the whole story before you say anything okay?”

Small arms slide off broad shoulders and cross defensively across Dina’s chest. A permanent scowl paints across her face but she remains quiet, waiting for the rest of the story. The inferno in her dark eyes almost makes Ellie want to run away. Taking a deep breath, she begins trying to explain what happened.

“So…uhh… nothing happened. Well, I mean something happened but it’s not what you think!”

_Jesus Christ good start you fucking idiot._

“Well we were up on the museum roof and well uhh we were talking and umm Kat like uhh… kinda kissed me. I froze but then I pushed her away and I umm told her to cut it out and that I’m with you and we uhh talked about it and she understands now. We are just friends and she knows that and everything is good now so don’t worry and please don’t be mad.”

Ellie watches Dina’s jaw clench and fingernails dig into the skin of her arms. Her brows furrow in fury and eyes burn bright with rage. The taller girl just stands awkwardly trying to figure out what her next move should be.

“I’m sorry. I mean I didn’t really have control of the situation but I don’t want you to think something is going on when it’s not and…”

Dina raises her hand to cut off her rambling. The previous anger has drained from her face and everything about the small girl is calm. Ellie wasn’t sure if this was scarier than her just being mad.

“Ellie I’m fine. I just need a minute to take a breather outside okay? Then we can talk about it.”

“Uhh okay,” Ellie breathes out as she moves to let her girlfriend out the door. Shocked, she watches Dina step outside and shut the door behind her.

_I think that went better than expected? Nothing too terrible has happened yet. Just be positive. Maybe she does understand there’s nothing actually going on. _

Deciding to get a drink to calm her nerves, Ellie moves to the kitchen and pours a glass of bourbon. It burns going down but warms her instantly. She smiles at the thought of Dina not being mad. It was such a difference from her usual reactions. Ellie chuckles at the memory of when she pretended to have plans for dinner with another girl.

_What did she say that time? Oh yeah, if that girl laid a finger on me, she’d happily break it off…._

Dina’s past words tumbled around in her mind before emerald eyes widen and she almost chokes on her next sip.

_Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. _

Sprinting, Ellie throws open the front door to see exactly what she had feared. Gone. No Dina in sight. Frantically, emerald eyes search up and down the street with no luck. Her converse barely touch the ground as Ellie flies towards the stables. Even though she is one of the fastest people in Jackson, she wasn’t fast enough. Dina’s voice is shrill as it echoes from inside the stables. 

“Fuck you! You fucking bitch!”

Ellie crashes through the door a second too late. The crunch of Kat’s nose as Dina’s fist connects there makes Ellie wince in sympathy pain. She watches in horror as Kat falls back on to the ground and the small girl pounces and lands another haymaker into Kat’s jaw.

“Dina!”

The auburn-haired girl rushes over and pries her girlfriend off. Strong arms hold Dina back as she continues to try to get free. Ellie had never seen her like this. She knew not to mess with the small girl because her looks deceived her capabilities. Hell, Ellie had even seen her kill hunters and infected but never had she seen her act like this. Like a wild animal, Ellie tries to control her long enough for her to calm down. “Dina! Jesus Christ stop!” Ellie shouts as a rouge elbow drives between her ribs.

“Fucking let me go, Ellie!” Dina jerks out from the taller girl’s hold and pushes her away. All three girls are panting from the hostile interaction. Emerald eyes lock onto dark ones that are wild with rage. Ellie glares at Dina before turning to Kat. The blonde had sat up and was trying to stop the blood that was pouring from her nose. She spits the blood pooling in her mouth out into the ground before looking up with hard eyes.

Ellie quickly kneels to tend to the injured girl. “Shit, Kat are you okay?”

Spitting out another mouth full of blood, Kat smiles weakly. “Never been better.”

Emerald eyes glare up at Dina looking for some kind of remorse but there’s none. The same anger foams at her mouth as she watches Ellie kneel beside Kat.

“What the fuck Dina?!” Ellie spits out.

Dark eyes full of fury morph into hurt as they look down. “You know what. Fuck this, I’m done.” Turning on her heels, Dina storms out of the stables and slams the door behind her.

Ellie can only watch in shock as she leaves. Anger, hurt, and confusion builds inside her body until she feels like she could explode.

_Fuck. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Sorry this is taking so long but i have over time every week at the grocery store right now as my area is starting to get hit harder. I hope everyone is staying safe and inside if possible. I'm gonna keep writing but it might be a while before i post again. Thanks for understanding :) -Abby
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kt5OoWr4v1k


	28. What You're Doing

The weeks following the fight were hard for Ellie. She had only seen Dina a few times around Jackson and she had been more than clear they were done without ever actually talking about it. Glares and snide comments were thrown her way every interaction they had. Ellie thought she would be more upset but every time they had to interact, she just boiled with anger. Angry that Dina had overreacted. Angry that she had done everything she could to avoid Ellie. Angry that she was being so hostile whenever they spoke. They’d bicker back and forth and glare at each other from across the room. Ellie knew it was childish but she didn’t care. There was no reason for Dina to be mad at her and it was ridiculous the way she was acting. As hard as it was to be around Dina, at least she felt angry enough to forget how much it hurt to be apart. Nights alone in her room were miserable. The spot beside her stayed cold and empty. She missed Dina in more ways than she thought were even possible. The way she teased Ellie constantly, the way she listened to Ellie ramble about comics and astrology, the way she could make Ellie melt under her touch in mere seconds. The blood under her skin would boil from the desires she still had and desperately tried to keep from drowning in. She knew it only led to more hurt for herself later in the night if she let her mind run too rampant. All of the pent up want and anger became harder and harder to control when she was in Dina’s presence. Half of her mind wanted to scream some sense into the small girl and the other half wanted to push her against the wall and kiss her until she couldn’t think straight. All of these feelings were so confusing and frustrating it was almost too much to handle.

Not only had she been trying to navigate her now mostly non-existent relationship with Dina, but Ellie felt partially responsible for Kat’s broken nose. It had been a pretty brutal recovery with dark, black eyes for weeks after. Even though the blonde had told her thousands of times it was fine and that she probably deserved it, Ellie still felt bad. She’d be offering to take her patrol shifts and chores around Jackson as much as possible. All of this drama was not something she was used to and it was exhausting. Part of her missed when she only had to deal with Joel’s moodiness.

Early summer heat warms the air as the sun rises into the sky. Ellie drags herself down to the stables as slow as humanly possible. Cursing under her breath, this was the day she had dreaded since patrol schedules went up last week. Someone with godly powers up in the sky must like fucking with her because she had an overnight patrol with Dina. Just the two of them. No part of her wanted to deal with the small girl’s attitude and arguing for two whole days. She also didn’t want to deal with her warring feelings that made themselves undeniable when she was in Dina’s presence. The auburn-haired girl sighs deeply when the stable comes into view. Black, tattered converse kick rocks as she tries to slow her pace even more. Strong hands pat her jean pockets hoping to find she had forgotten something so she could run back home. To her despair, a sharp pocket knife bulges from her left pocket, and her gun sits in its holster on her right hip. With her bow hanging across her back, Ellie takes a deep breath and tries to clear her mind before entering.

_Okay. Two days. You can do this. Two days with the most stubborn, aggravating, infuriating, hottest…. Stop. Focus. You can do this. Maybe if I try to just be civil, we will get through this. Surely, she can be mature enough to stay on task. And I can be mature enough to focus and not get distracted…… God, help me. _

Letting out a groan, Ellie makes her way inside. Dina had already beaten her there and was pulling Rose out to be saddled. Thankfully, Wyatt stood in the opposite stall shoveling horse shit. His presence eases her nerves. At least she had another few minutes that weren’t alone with Dina. Ellie smiles softly, acknowledging his presence with a nod and tries to smile at Dina in a peace offering but gets a glare in return. Emerald eyes take in the tight black jeans that hug her curves and combat boots. A slightly loose orange t-shirt is tucked in at the waist and her curly hair is up in its usual bun. Ellie averts her gaze from lingering too long. _Focus Ellie._

“You’re late,” Dina snaps with a cold tone.

All of Ellie’s former pep talks and being civil attitude goes flying out the window. Anger crawls up her body and ignites the blood in her veins. “I’ve got a watch, thanks,” Ellie spits back as she moves to begin saddling Melvin. She turns her back to the smaller girl trying to keep her composure. It was way too early to be letting Dina get under her skin like this.

“Then maybe you should fucking use it.”

Ellie turns on her heels to fire something back but to her surprise, Dina is standing right behind her. Dark eyes glare up into hers with a fire raging behind them. The taller girl scans every feature taking in how beautiful she is up this close. For some reason that only makes Ellie angrier. She knew she should stop being petty but something inside wouldn’t let her back down.

“I don’t need you to tell me what to do,” Ellie growls.

“Well somebody obviously needs to!” Dina chastises, her voice raising an octave.

“Well, it’s not fucking going to be you!” Ellie snaps back. Dina yells something but Ellie loses focus as the smaller girl moves in closer. So close Dina’s lavender scent makes her brain freeze momentarily. Ellie just glares as Dina continues to shout at her. It’s the only face she can keep straight that won’t give away her internal struggle. Because she would be fucking damned before she showed Dina how being this close was turning her mind into a pathetic pile of mush.

“ENOUGH!” Wyatt’s thundering voice snaps both girls from their heated argument. “Jesus Christ! Can’t you guys just fuck and makeup already? You’re getting on my fucking nerves.”

Freckled cheeks tint red as she sputters some incomprehensible words. Her eyes lock with Dina’s momentarily and to her surprise, Dina looks just as flustered as she feels. But just as quickly, she turns back in rage towards Wyatt.

“How about you mind your own fucking business?” Dina barks. 

Seeming to get the message, the dark-haired boy raises his hands in surrender and continues to do his chores in silence.

Dina turns back to give Ellie one more deep glare before turning back to her horse. “Let’s go,” she grumbles.

The taller girl sighs and leads Melvin out of the stables. _This is going to be a long two days._

A cool breeze rustles through the trees as they ride to their destination. So cool Ellie wishes she had put a jacket over her dark green army t-shirt. The auburn-haired girl always ran warm so she knew if she was cold, Dina had to be freezing. The visible goosebumps on the smaller girl riding beside her confirmed her suspicion. Instinct makes her want to find something to warm Dina up but she quickly pushes the thoughts away.

“We probably should have brought some jackets huh?” Ellie sighs trying to make light conversation, hoping to break the tense silence.

“I’m fine,” Dina states without ever taking her eyes off the trail.

“Well, you don’t look fine?” Ellie challenges starting to get aggravated again.

“How about you stop staring at me and then you won’t have to worry about it.” Dark eyes turn to meet Ellie’s, rising to her challenge.

“What? I wasn’t…. I mean I was just trying to….,” Freckled cheeks burn a deep crimson as she stutters out some kind of explanation. “Forget it,” Ellie grunts as she looks forward keeping her eyes locked on the path ahead. Rage raises her temperature enough to keep her warm all the way to their destination.

***

The huge log cabin sits peacefully with a beautiful lake cascading behind it. Ellie liked to imagine living in a place like this if the world hadn’t gone to shit. Out in the woods, a huge lake to fish and swim in. The cabin mansion was by far one of her favorite patrols. Without a word, the girls hitch their horses and head inside.

“Check upstairs and I’ll stay down here,” Dina whispers.

Ellie grunts her response, still irritated from their earlier interaction. Strong hands pull the bow off her back into a ready position. The stairs creak loudly as she moves up them with caution. The first two rooms are empty but a single runner stands idle in the back bedroom. Ellie quickly disposes of it with her pocketknife and wipes the blood off on her shirt. Scanning the room for possible missed supplies, emerald eyes lock on a steel box on top of a bookshelf.

_I’ve never noticed that before?_

Ellie pushes up on her tiptoes to reach but is inches short of being able to grab it. “Motherfucker.” She grabs a wooden chair from across the room and steps up to obtain the box. Just as her hands touch the cold steel, the sound of wood cracking rings in her ears. Before she knows it, Ellie hits the ground with a loud thump as the chair crumples beneath her.

“Ellie?” Dina’s concerned voice echoes through the house in response to the crash.

_Oh, now she cares?_

Ellie groans from the fall and opens her mouth to let Dina know she’s okay but a purely evil idea fills her mind and she clamps her mouth shut. She lays there still as can be and shuts her eyes. It takes all her willpower to not smile.

“Ellie???” The sound of the small girl sprinting up the steps thunders against the floor.

“Oh my god. Oh my god. Ellie?!” Dina’s voice is shrill as she runs over to Ellie’s limp body lying in shards of broken wood.

“Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, okay, okay… just hold on.” The small girl throws a leg over Ellie’s hips and soft hands feel up her neck trying to check for a pulse. Dina cradles her head as she pushes two fingers down on her pulse point. “God, please don’t be dead…. please don’t be dead,” Dina begs with desperation.

For her final stunt, Ellie makes a terribly fake death rattle sound. At that moment she can’t keep the smile off her face any longer. Failing to keep her composure, laughter starts to pour from her lips as she opens her eyes to look up at Dina. Pure shock fills dark eyes as she watches Ellie cackle at her expense. It only takes a few seconds for the small girl to become livid from being played.

“ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME, ELLIE!” Small but strong hands grip Ellie’s collar and rip her up off the floor. “I’M GOING TO KILL YOU!” Dina shakes her roughly as if to make her point.

Caught up in the thought of pissing Dina off, Ellie hadn’t thought through all the consequences. Especially now that Dina had her lower half pinned to the ground with her hips and hands that were violently shaking her. She really didn’t want a broken nose like Kat’s. Thankfully, Dina lets go with a hard release that sends Ellie’s upper half to smack back onto the floor.

“Ouch.”

“You’re lucky I don’t beat the shit out of you!” Dina seethes with fury wild in her eyes.

Propping up on her forearms, Ellie can’t keep her mouth shut, “Yeah, beating the shit out of people seems to be your new favorite pastime huh?” Small hands again push Ellie back down with a loud thud as her head hits the floor for the third time in ten minutes. “Fuck! Jesus, you’re going to crack my head open!” Ellie shouts as she tries to sit up again but Dina’s weight on her lap makes it difficult.

“Why does it matter? It’s not like there’s a brain in there anyway!” Dina moves to push Ellie again but strong hands catch her wrists.

Finally sitting all the way up, Ellie tightens her grip on the girl still straddling her lap. “I said stop! It was just a joke!”

“It wasn’t fucking funny, Ellie! I thought you were dead!”

“It was a joke oh my god who cares?!”

“I fucking care!”

All the air seems to suck out of the room. The weight on Ellie’s lap becomes painfully obvious. Strong hands still have an overly firm grip on small wrists. The taller girl hadn’t even realized only inches separated them as they fought. Both panting softly from screaming, the tension between them rises with every second. Locked in a glare with Dina, Ellie is too scared to look anywhere else. Her body begs to act on its own as the pressure on her hips starts to melt her from within. Ellie tightens her grip again in a desperate attempt to keep her hands from moving to touch. Dina’s hot breath hits her face repeatedly as they pant against each other. It’s so heavy on her lips she can almost imagine she’s actually tasting Dina against them. Emerald eyes dilate with a primal urge that ignites her blood. She can sense the same feelings radiating from the girl above her and that crumbles Ellie’s self-control. Right when she’s about to close the small distance between them, small hands rip out of her grip and push her back down against the floor.

Dina rises slowly up off Ellie with a sigh. “God, you’re so fucking annoying. You know that?”

“So I’ve been told,” Ellie grumbles as she rubs the growing knot on the back of her head. Emerald eyes watch as Dina stalks out of the room. The auburn-haired girl kneads her temples in frustration. 

_God, I am an idiot. What did I almost do? I thought she was feeling the same way. Obviously not dumbass. Maybe she really doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore. Stop. Pull it together. _

Ellie shakes her head trying to keep from spiraling. With a groan, she gets up and searches for the box that had started this whole thing. Flipping the lid open, she searches the contents. A picture of a little girl in a swimming pool and multiple colored pictures of cats and princesses are folded inside. The pictures make her smile as she looks through them. Ellie hoped the little girl had made it out okay. However, the real treasure was at the bottom. One singular chocolate bar sits hidden under all the papers. Ellie had only had chocolate one other time in her life. At military school, Riley had traded her favorite CD for one piece that they split. It had been magical. Ellie stuffs the bar in her pocket and runs down the stairs.

“Dina! Oh my God guess what!”

The small girl was already starting the fire in the big fireplace when Ellie came bounding down the steps. She doesn’t even turn around. “I’m not falling for your shit again, Ellie.”

Too excited to get mad again, Ellie turns Dina around with a strong hand. “Look what I found.” Dark eyes widen in awe as the holy grail is pulled from Ellie’s pocket.

“Holy shit, El,” Dina gasps. “That’s an awesome find.”

“It’s probably old and stale enough to kill us but I don’t even care.”

“Us?”

“Well yeah, I thought after we ate our sandwiches, we could split it for dessert?” Ellie watches as Dina’s hardened features soften slightly. Their eyes lock momentarily in a gentle knowing look. All the anger between them evaporates for a single moment. Feeling nervous under Dina’s eyes, Ellie can feel the heat burning her cheeks.

“I mean uhh… if you want to,” Ellie stutters.

Dina answers with a half-smile and turns back to the fire that roars to life after a little more kindling is added. An awkward silence falls over the cabin as Ellie pulls the sandwiches out of Dina’s pack. They eat quietly both stealing glances back and forth. The taller girl can’t help but stare and gets caught more than once. Each time, Dina rolls her eyes in annoyance but can’t keep from grinning softly. After they finish dinner, Ellie snaps the chocolate bar in half and offers one side to Dina.

“Thanks,” Dina whispers.

The chocolate is stale and kind of gross but after it melts against her tongue, the sweet taste is heavenly. “Damn that’s good,” Ellie groans as she pops the last piece in her mouth. A wide smile pulls on her lips as she watches the small girl beside her enjoying the treat as much as she is. It was nice having a single moment of happiness between them. Everything was going well until Ellie opened her mouth again.

“God, the back of my head is throbbing.” She winces as she runs calloused fingers over the knot that’s risen there.

“You’re lucky it wasn’t the front of your face,” Dina scoffs.

“You gonna break my nose too?” 

Ellie regrets the words as soon as they fire off her lips. The civil atmosphere evaporates after that quip. Fire ignites behind Dina’s eyes.

“I might if you keep being an asshole!”

“Me?!” Ellie raises her voice in disbelief. “I’m not the one that broke someone’s nose for no reason and then ignored her girlfriend for weeks only to be a fucking dick every time we did see each other!”

Something snaps in the smaller girl and she jumps up in anger. Ellie does the same, not wanting to be in a compromising position.

“No reason?! Are you kidding me?? She fucking kissed you, Ellie. There’s no excuse for that and then you defended her and tried to act like it was all okay? Do you think I’m stupid?”

“That’s not what happened! You got all crazy and I couldn’t explain it well enough before you stormed off!”

Dina moves closer, raging at the taller girl. “Did she kiss you?”

“I already told you that. But we didn’t….” Dina’s sharp voice cuts her off before she can continue.

“And did you or did you not defend her and what she did?”

“I mean I… I mean I guess but that’s not what…”

“Then there’s nothing to explain Ellie!” Dina screams right in the taller girl’s face. Fury boils Ellie’s blood as the small girl shouts in her face. “And on top of that I had told you how I felt the night before and you promised that shit wouldn’t happen and then you come home and try to act like I have no right to be mad or upset?”

“I didn’t say that!” Ellie growls as she clenches her fist tightly. “I don’t understand why you are so mad about a stupid kiss that I couldn’t control and that meant nothing!?”

“Because you are mine, Ellie!!” Dina barks with a possessive tone that sends a chill up Ellie’s spine. Dark eyes widen at the heated confession that slipped through her lips on accident. She scrambles to correct herself as a smug look settles on Ellie’s face. “Were mine. Ugh, whatever! Just fuck off I’m going to bed!”

Ellie groans in annoyance and claws at her eyes in frustration. _God, she’s so insufferable. How did I ever deal with this? _

Dina slams her sleeping bag on the floor and lays down with an overdramatic sigh. Ellie just rolls her eyes and lays down in her bag on the opposite side of the room. The small girl gives her one last glare before rolling over to face the opposite direction to sleep. Ellie sighs and rolls on her back. She stares up at the ceiling hoping sleep takes mercy on her.

It doesn’t.

Hours pass and Ellie keeps her eyes on the ceiling. Sleep evades her as she tries every trick in the book to rest her eyes for even just a minute. Finally, her eyelids grow heavy and sleep seems just seconds away. A rustle from across the room snaps her eyes back open. Ellie rolls over to see Dina stirring in her sleep. The small girl’s breathing picks up and she mummers something indistinguishable. Ellie hated bad dreams and even though she was still agitated from before, she stands and makes her way across the room. She knew waking Dina from whatever nightmare her mind had conjured up would be appreciated even if they were on bad terms. Right when calloused hands reach out to shake Dina awake, a sound that turns Ellie’s face blood-red leaves the small girl’s lips. A deep moan electrocutes the air and raises the hairs on the back of Ellie’s neck.

“El.”

The auburn-haired girl’s jaw drops and her eyes widen in disbelief at the sound of her name. It wasn’t in the snarky tone she had grown accustomed to but in a tone she had heard many times nonetheless. Times when she was pinning her girlfriend down and having her way with her. When her lips would kiss the soft skin under Dina’s jaw and she’d let her teeth nip and tease. Every nerve in Ellie’s body lights on fire as she kneels, frozen beside the small girl. The knowledge of knowing Dina was dreaming about her in an anything but innocent way drove her wild. Emerald eyes dilate when another moan tumbles from Dina’s lips and thin hips stir in her sleeping bag. Pulling a lip between her teeth, Ellie wars with the feelings burning her up inside and the guilt that tells her to go back to her side of the room. Eventually, the guilt wins. Pushing up to a crouching position, Ellie starts to move away but dark eyes flutter open and lock onto her. Both girls stare in shock at one another. 

“What the hell are you doing?” Dina grumbles, her voice tired but slightly panicked. A blush spreads across beautiful features as dark eyes stay concentrated on the girl above her.

Fear and the embarrassment of getting caught keeps Ellie frozen and stuttering for an explanation. “Well…uhh you were umm moving around...and uhh I thought you were having a nightmare so I came over to like wake you up…but I uhm realized uhh well it uhh didn’t seem like a nightmare when I got over here.” Ellie’s pretty sure she’s never wanted to melt into the floor more than in this moment. Both girls stay still, desperately trying to read the other's mind. 

After what seems like a lifetime, deep brown eyes turn dark with rage. “Well, how about you mind your own business and let me sleep in peace,” Dina snaps as she pushes out of her sleeping bag and makes her way to tend to the dying fire.

The auburn-haired girl’s jaw drops open again. Rage crawls up her body at the audacity Dina has to snap at her when she was just trying to help. It’s all too much and the anger inside explodes like a volcano. “What the fuck is your problem?!” Ellie shouts as she jumps up off the floor.

Surprised by Ellie’s outburst, Dina flinches but refuses to turn around until she’s done throwing new logs on the fire. They quickly catch and the almost dead fire roars back to life as the flames climb high in the air. Satisfied, Dina spins around to finish the confrontation. “You’re the one fucking watching me sleep like a freak! I should be asking you what your problem is!”

The sight of Dina raging with a fire roaring behind her seems like a snapshot from Ellie’s own personal hell. Hell honestly sounded like a better option right now. Emerald eyes watch as the small girl stalks over to the window and huffs as she looks out into the dark night.

“I told you that’s not what happened! I was trying to help you!” Ellie shouts as she moves closer to the window. Dina wasn’t going to shut her out this time by running away or ignoring her. A strong hand reaches out to turn Dina but the small girl spins around before she even touches her shoulder.

“I don’t need your help! Not everyone needs your help, Ellie! You’re not some fucking superhero from those stupid comics you read okay?!”

Strong hands ball into fists and shake with fury at the words spilling off Dina’s lips. They hurt and Dina knew they would. Knowing she should stop before she says something she doesn’t mean; Ellie’s anger pushes her over the edge.

“Well how about you don’t fucking moan my name in your sleep and I won’t come over to check on you!” 

Dina’s next rebuttal catches in her throat as embarrassment flushes her face red. Tension fills the space between them and the smaller girl feels cornered as her back pressed into the wall. But just as quickly as she fumbles, she fires back into the argument more heated than before.

“Shut up! That’s not what happened!”

The fire inside Ellie boosts her confidence as she watches the small girl get flustered at being called out. “Oh really? So, you weren’t dreaming about me?” Dark eyes widen in fear but her pupils dilate was lust. Ellie watches whatever dirty thing Dina had been dreaming about replay in her mind. It felt good to have control of the situation and to have Dina squirming in front of her. All of Ellie’s feelings of lust, anger, and desire start to fuse. Too complicated to sort out right now, the taller girl just runs with it. She closes the gap between her and Dina, leaving only inches between them.

“No, I wasn’t dreaming about you, you dick,” Dina shakily retorts trying to stay firm and composed.

Usually, Dina was hard to read but Ellie sees right through her lie. “Then what were you dreaming about?” Ellie mocks in a low voice knowing she had Dina backed into a corner in more ways than one.

Deep brown eyes panic as she tries to make up something on the spot. “I uhh I... it’s none of your business anyway,” Dina mumbles nervously as she tries to push Ellie away but strong hands catch her wrists and slam them against the wall above her head. The tension explodes between them as Ellie pins the smaller girl. A sharp gasp leaves Dina’s lips at the sudden forceful contact.

Surprised by her actions, the way dark eyes are completely black with lust and panic fuels Ellie’s fire even more. “I said, what were you dreaming about,” Ellie growls never breaking eye contact. The need to piss Dina off and make her crumble with want blend together. Electricity runs through her veins as she feels Dina’s pulse racing under her grip. The small girl’s chest rises and falls quickly as the longing for more grows between them. Flustered was an understatement for the way Dina looks.

Tense silence fills the air as dark forest eyes stare at the girl beneath her like prey. Blood pumping through her veins, Ellie starts to lose control and drowns in her mess of emotions. Strong hands pull small wrists off the wall slightly before slamming them back, harder this time.

“Fuck, it was about you okay!” Dina half shouts half moans at the strength being used against her. The angry fire behind brown eyes reignites as the confession leaves her lips.

Ellie has all the power and she loves the way that feels. She also loves how livid it is making the shorter girl. The power trip and lust growing uncontrollably keep her going. A devilish smirk pulls on her lips as she watches Dina’s jaw clench in frustration. “What about me?”

“Like I’d tell you,” Dina snaps with fire on her tongue trying to keep what little control she has.

Getting impatient, Ellie ghosts her lips over Dina’s jawline up to the shell of her ear. “Well whatever it was it must have been pretty good,” the auburn-haired girl teases in a husky voice.

“Don’t flatter yourself,” Dina scoffs still trying to resist but her walls are quickly crumbling.

Ellie admired her strong will. It was entertaining to watch Dina struggle with the need to be right and in control versus the yearning for more contact. After all these weeks of torment and fighting, she was going to break Dina’s strong will if it was the last thing she ever did.

“Oh? It just seemed like you were enjoying yourself. Guess I was wrong,” Ellie mocks before nipping her ear.

Dina shivers at the bite but keeps her composure. “I guess so,” she breathes out so soft it’s barely audible.

_God, she’s so fucking stubborn. I’ll just have to turn it up a notch. _

An evil grin spreads across Ellie’s face as she moves small wrists together so she can keep them pinned with one hand. “So, then I guess you won’t enjoy this, right?” Her newly free hand lets one finger glide slowly down from behind her ear across a smooth jawline. Her nail leaves an angry red line in its path before retracing it delicately the second time around. The alternation between rough and gentle drives Dina wild like she knew it would. She slides carefully down to her pulse point. It thunders under her skin so hard Ellie can feel it without even adding pressure. She scratches further down to tantalizing collarbones that just barely peek out from behind her t-shirt. When Ellie traces over the fabric and down her sternum, a tender moan spills from Dina’s lips.

“Did you say something?” Ellie teases, peppering kisses under her ear.

“No,” Dina hisses as she bites her bottom lip in an attempt to keep any more unwanted sounds from slipping out.

Ellie continues with the lust inside boosting her confidence and determination. Slow circles trace around hardened peaks that show through the thin shirt. Emerald eyes watch the small girl warring with herself and slowly succumbing to her desire. Strong hands untuck Dina’s shirt and trace the waistband of her jeans. Nails dig into thin hips and push the small girl harder into the wall. Dina’s breath hitches and Ellie knows she close to breaking her. Deft fingers slowly unbutton her jeans.

“Since you’re not enjoying this…. you shouldn’t be wet right?” Ellie smirks as she stares into the deep black pools in front of her. A whimper falls from soft lips.

“Right?” The taller girl commands.

Dina takes a shaky breath and fights the feelings consuming her. “R-right.”

Amazed at her persistence to stay strong, Ellie shakes her head before leaning in and kissing soft lips. Sparks light her up from head to toe. God had she missed this. The more control she took over Dina, the less control she had over herself. Everything feels on fire as she swipes a hot tongue over the lips she had been craving for weeks. Dina allows her entrance and she swears she has never tasted anything sweeter. Wanting to make Dina combust, Ellie dips her hand under her waistband and slides through soaked folds. A deep moan breaks through Dina’s barriers and vibrates against Ellie’s lips.

_Finally. _

Ellie presses harder against the small girl wanting the heat between them to soar. Their lips move harshly against one another. Taking every taste, touch, sound the other would allow. Thin hips buck against the fingers teasing her endlessly. A moan rattles from deep in Ellie’s throat as her fingers are coated in Dina’s arousal. Everything is on fire and no part of her wants to cool down. Getting impatient with Ellie’s teasing, sharp teeth sink into the auburn-haired girl’s bottom lip. Pain surges through her mouth and a faint taste of blood hit her taste buds.

Ellie pulls back to see the look of pure desire and the fire of anger burns bright in dark brown eyes. She glares up at Ellie and struggles to break from the tight hold on her wrists. ‘’Stop being a fucking tease, Ellie,’’ Dina snarls.

The fury from before crawls up the taller girl’s body and she rips her hand out of Dina’s jeans. A whimper rings from the beautiful girl’s lips at the loss of contact. Strong fingers slide up over a firm stomach leaving a wet trail behind them. Ellie leans in to whisper against her ear, ‘’I’ll consider it……. if you beg.’’

‘’Fuck you,’’ Dina growls with fire in her eyes.

‘’Maybe later,’’ Ellie teases with a sly grin. She watches Dina grow red with fury and she can’t help but be thrilled by it. Evil thoughts run through her drowning mind as she pushes her thigh between Dina’s legs with just enough pressure to further torture the fidgeting girl. Her free hand continues up under the t-shirt and fingers glide over the soft fabric of Dina’s bralette before gripping firmly. Slightly chapped lips move down to a delectable neck to leave dark bruises. Thin hips begin to grind against her thigh in a desperate attempt for release. Soft pants ring in Ellie’s ear as they move against each other. She presses her thigh harder into the small girl eliciting out a hushed cry. The hunger in dark eyes is almost animalistic as Dina ruts against her, grinding her way closer to the edge. The taller girl slides her leg back taking away the pressure in an act of pure evil. Dina moans in agony but quickly turns to a growl of frustration. Emerald eyes watch as the small girl desperately clings to the last shreds of strong will she has inside.

‘’Ellie….’’

“What?” The taller girl smirks at the unevenness in Dina’s voice_. _

‘’……please.”

‘’Please what?” Ellie knew she was pushing it but she didn’t care. All of the hate and rage built up for weeks wasn’t going to let Dina off so easy. She presses her thigh back to where Dina needs it with force when silence fills the room too long.

‘’Ellie, fuck, I need it,’’ the small girl moans out at the reintroduced pressure between her legs. Small wrists twist in anticipation.

‘’Need what?” Ellie growls pushing Dina’s patience to the limit.

“Please Ellie, I need you to fuck me please!”

The desperation in Dina’s voice and the pleading in her eyes send the auburn-haired girl into overdrive. Slamming their lips together, she releases the hold on Dina’s wrists and pushes back down into dripping folds. Small hands fly down to tangle in auburn hair and grip it roughly. Ellie gets drunk off the sounds that explode against her lips and the sweet taste she had been missing so much. Dina bucks against her wandering fingers and muffles a scream against Ellie’s lips when two suddenly sink deep inside. The taller girl moans at the tight heat around her fingers. She starts slowly, sliding out as far as the jeans will allow before pushing back in. Primal lust consumes them as Ellie continues to fuck her against the wall until her legs shake.

‘’Fuck El, please don’t stop,” Dina whimpers as she drowns in ecstasy. She slams her head back against the wall and squeezes her eyes shut as pleasure hits her hard.

Ellie continues at the same pace, only slowing down when she feels Dina begin to sag against the wall, knees too weak to stand. She stays pressed against the small girl, both trying to catch their breath. Emerald eyes watch every expression carefully, waiting for dark eyes to open. Anxiety crawls up her body at the thought of what could happen next. She wanted more than anything to go back to the way they were. The thought of losing her again after being reminded of how good she had it makes Ellie’s stomach turn.

Finally, dark brown eyes open and meet hers. Both still panting, they stare deeply at one another. Dark eyes are still hooded but they flash with hurt before turning angry. Confused, Ellie tries to speak but small hands push her off.

‘’Just because we slept together doesn’t mean I forgot what happened,’’ Dina hisses and pushes around the auburn-haired girl.

Stunned, Ellie just watches as Dina stalks to one of the bedrooms and slams the door behind her.

_What the hell just happened? _

***

The morning sun ascends into the sky and sheds a dim light into the cabin. Ellie hadn’t slept at all as she had been warring with feeling hurt, angry, and miserable about what had happened. Dina hadn’t emerged from the room all night. It’s not for another hour that she finally opens the door. Dark eyes avoid meeting Ellie’s as she begins to pack their things for the trip back. An uncomfortable silence fills the air as they pack and head out to get the horses. Part of Ellie wanted to say something, maybe apologize even, but the other part fumes with rage at why Dina was being such a dick about everything.

They begin the ride back in deafening silence. Ellie struggles with what to do. The longing to have Dina back twists her insides to the point she feels sick. _Just say something. Anything is better than this. _

‘’So, are you going to ignore me for the rest of your life or what?’’ The statement comes off a lot more hostile than she means. _Why can’t I just say the right thing for once? _

“I’m going to try my best,” Dina huffs without taking her eyes off the trail.

Ellie’s blood starts to boil. “So, your just not gonna talk about what happened or what’s going on with us? That’s not fair.”

“Not everything is fair Ellie!” Dina shouts as she gives the auburn-haired girl a warning glare to shut up.

Red clouds Ellie’s vision as everything about Dina infuriates her. Just when she opens her mouth to argue again, the force of truck slams into Ellie’s shoulder sending her flying off her horse. Hitting the ground with a thud, pain ripples like shockwaves through her body. She looks for the source only to see the end of an arrow jutting out of her shoulder. Panic floods her mind as she scrambles to get a grip on the situation. Everything is a blur as she moves in slow motion, the sound of gunshots thundering in her ears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everybody! I hope everyone is doing well and staying safe. These past few weeks have been rough but writing has helped me keep my mind clear. This song is special to me and I'm glad it relates to the chapter so well. I promise I'm writing every chance I get and I'll try to post again soon. Also, I know spoilers came out and I WILL NOT be writing about them or discussing them so please don't comment anything about them in any way. I'm so pumped about the new release date, we are so so close. Stay safe out there - Abby :)
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Sba2LbhkVY


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